The Shadow of Saganami

She took one last look around her dorm room.

It was an absolute given that she'd forgotten something. She always did. The only question was how inconvenient/embarrassing it was going to be when she discovered what she'd forgotten this time.

She snorted at the thought, grinning as she imagined how Berry would have teased her about it. Berry insisted that Helen was the only person in the galaxy who carried her own pocket universe around with her. That was the only way she could possibly lose some of the things she managed to... misplace. Of course, Berry was almost compulsively neat in her own life, although no one ever would have guessed it from how sloppily she usually dressed. But that was only the current teenage style, Helen supposed. And, her expression sobered, it wasn't one Berry was going to be following any longer.

She shrugged, shoulders hunching as if she could somehow shake away her worry over her adopted sister. More like an adopted daughter, really, in many ways. It was silly, and she knew it. Yet somehow she'd thought she would always be the protector of the brutalized waif she'd rescued from the warrens of Old Chicago, and now... she wouldn't.

But there were always things that wouldn't happen, she told herself. Like her mother, who should have been at her graduation... and wouldn't be. She felt a familiar stab of pain and loss, and dashed away a tear. Silly that. She hadn't wept over her mother's death in years. Not because she no longer cared, but because even the most bitter wounds healed, if you lived. They left scars, but they healed and you went on. It was just the Last View, she thought fiercely. Just watching, as so many classes had, as Edward Saganami and his entire crew died to save the merchantships under their protection... and remembering how Captain Helen Zilwicki had done the same.

But that had been years ago, when Helen herself was only a child. And despite the deep, never to entirely fade anguish of it, her life truly had gone on, with other losses and other joys. If she'd lost her mother, she still had the bedrock love of her father, and now she had Berry, and Lars, and Catherine Montaigne. In a universe where it was the people you loved that really mattered, that was saying a lot. One hell of a lot , she thought fiercely.

She drew a deep breath, shook her head, and decided there was no point standing here trying to guess what she'd forgotten, or lost, or misplaced. If she'd been able to figure it out, it wouldn't have been forgotten-or lost, or misplaced-in the first place.

She snapped down her locker's lid, set the combination, and brought the built-in counter-grav on-line. The locker rose smoothly, floating at the end of its tether, and she settled her beret perfectly on her head, turned, and marched out of her dormitory room forever.

* * *

'Helen! Hey-Helen!'

She looked over her shoulder as the familiar voice called out her name. A small, dark-haired, dark-eyed midshipman bounced through the crowd headed for the Alpha-Three Shuttle Concourse like a billiard ball with wicked side spin. Helen had never understood how Midshipman Kagiyama got away with that. Of course, he was over ten centimeters shorter than she was, and wiry. Helen's physique might favor her dead mother's side of the family more than it favored her massively built father, but she was still a considerably more... substantial proposition than Aikawa. His smaller size let him squeeze into openings she could never have fitted through, but it was more than that. Maybe it was just that he was brasher than she was. He certainly, she thought, watching him move past-or possibly through-a gesticulating herd of civilian businessmen, had much more energetic elbows than she did.

He skidded to a stop beside her with a grin, and she shook her head as the daggered glares of the affronted businessmen unaccountably failed to reduce him to a fine heap of smoldering ashes.

'I swear, Aikawa,' she said severely. 'One of these days, somebody's going to flatten you.'

'Nah,' he disagreed, still grinning. 'I'm too cute.'

'Cute,' she informed him, 'is one thing you definitely aren't, Aikawa Kagiyama.'

'Sure I am. You just don't appreciate cute when you see it.'

'Maybe not, but I'd advise you not to count on your OCTO to see it, either.'

'Not at first, maybe. But I'm sure he'll come to love me,' Aikawa said cheerfully.

'Not once she gets to know you,' Helen said deflatingly.

'You cut me to the quick.' Aikawa pressed a hand to his heart, and looked at her soulfully. She only snorted, and he shrugged. 'Worth a try, anyway,' he said.

'Yeah, you can be very trying,' she said.

'Well, in that case, maybe I can hide from the OCTO behind you,' he said hopefully.

'Hide behind me?' Helen arched an eyebrow.

'Sure!' His eyes glinted with barely suppressed delight. 'Unless... Is it possible ? Nah, couldn't be! Don't tell me you didn't know we're both assigned to Hexapuma !'

'We are?' Helen blinked. 'I thought you told me last night that you had orders to Intransigent .'

'That was last night. Today is today.' Aikawa shrugged.

'Why the change?' she asked.

'Darned if I know,' he admitted. 'Maybe somebody decided you needed a good example to live up to.' He elevated his nose with a superior expression.

'Bullshit,' she said tartly. 'If anybody decided anything, it was that you needed someone to step on you for your own good whenever that big head of yours gets ready to get you into trouble. Again.'

'Gets me into trouble?' He shook his head at her. 'And which one of us was it, again, that got us caught sneaking back onto campus at a quarter after Comp?'

'Which was the only time I got us caught, Mr. I've-Got-the-Record-in-Black- Marks-Cornered. You, on the other hand-'

'Dwelling on the past is the mark of a small mind,' he informed her.

'Yeah, sure it is!' She snorted again, then tugged her locker back into motion, following the guide strip through the crowded concourse.

Aikawa trotted along beside her, towing his own locker, and she did her best to look unmoved by his presence. Not that she was fooling anyone, especially him. He was probably her best friend in the entire universe, although neither of them was prepared to express it quite that way in so many words. There was nothing remotely sexual about their friendship. Not because either of them had anything against sexual relationships. It was just that neither was really the other's type, and neither of them was prepared to risk their friendship by trying to turn it into anything else.

'So who else caught Hexapuma ?' he asked.

'What?' She looked at him with mock amazement. 'The Great Kagiyama, Master of Grapevines, doesn't know who else is assigned to his ship?'

'I know exactly who's assigned to Intransigent . And until this morning, that was my ship. What I don't know is who's assigned to your ship.'

'Well, I'm not entirely sure, myself,' Helen admitted. 'I do know Ragnhild is, though. She's ticketed for the same shuttle to Hephaestus as I am-well, both of us, now, I guess.'

'Really? Outstanding!' Aikawa beamed. 'I wonder what possessed them to put all three of the Three Musketeers on the same ship?'

'An oversight, I'm sure,' Helen said dryly. 'Of course, from the way you're talking, they didn't have all three of us assigned to Hexapuma initially, now did they?'

'A point. Definitely a point. So Ragnhild is the only other one you know about?'

'No, Leopold Stottmeister caught the morning shuttle up because he was going to have lunch with his parents at Dempsey's before he reported aboard. I know about him and Ragnhild for certain. But there may be one or two more.'

'Stottmeister...' Aikawa frowned. 'The soccer jock?'

'Yeah. I had a couple of classes with him, and he's a pretty sharp cookie. In the Engineering track, though.'

'Oh.' Aikawa looked up at her and their eyes met with the same expression. Both of them were in the Tactical track, traditionally the surest way to starship command. There was nothing wrong with someone who was more interested in hardware than maneuvers, of course.