either.
He said, “Katie. Hi,” and she punched him in the side of the head so that he was knocked off his seat onto the floor and found himself looking, in close-up, at Jacob’s shoes.
He heard a slightly deranged person cheering approvingly from the other side of the room, and Ray saying, “Katie…What the bloody hell…?” and Jacob saying, “You hit Uncle Jamie,” in a puzzled voice, and the sound of footsteps running.
By the time he’d levered himself into a sitting position there was a security guard approaching them saying, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, let’s calm it down a bit here, people.”
Katie said to Jamie, “What the fuck did you tell Mum?”
Jamie said, to the security guard, “It’s OK, she’s my sister.”
Ray said to Jacob, “I think you and I are going to go and see Granny and Grandpa.”
The security guard said, “Any more funny business and I’ll have the lot of you out of here,” but no one was really listening to him.
72
Five minutes later Jean heard a second set of footsteps, heavier than Katie’s. She thought, at first, that it was another doctor. She braced herself.
But when the curtains opened it was Ray, with Jacob on his shoulders.
She realized, instantly, what had happened. Katie had told Ray. About her and George having doubts. About Ray not being good enough for their daughter.
Ray put Jacob down.
Jacob said, “Hello, Grandma. I had…I got…some…some chocolate buttons. For Grandpa.”
Jean had no idea what a man like Ray might do when he was angry.
She got off her chair and said, “Ray. I’m really sorry. It’s not that we don’t like you. Far from it. We just…I’m so, so sorry.”
She wanted the ground to swallow her up, but it didn’t, so she ducked between the curtains and ran.
73
Katie watched Jamie get to his feet and three things then occurred to her in rapid succession.
Firstly, she was going to have to do some serious explaining to Jacob. Secondly, she’d lost her final shred of moral superiority over Ray. Thirdly, it was the first time she’d punched someone properly since that argument over the red sandals with Zoe Canter in junior school, and it felt bloody brilliant.
She sat down next to her brother. Neither of them spoke for a few moments.
“I’m sorry,” she said, though she wasn’t. Not really. “I’ve been having a crap few weeks.”
“Snap,” said Jamie.
“Meaning?”
“Tony chucked me.”
“Shit. I’m sorry,” said Katie, and over Jamie’s shoulder she saw a woman who looked very like Mum running toward the main corridor of the hospital as if she was being chased by an invisible dog.
“And it wasn’t a chisel,” said Jamie, “he was ‘cutting the cancer off,’ apparently. With scissors.”
“Well, that makes a bit more sense,” said Katie.
Jamie looked a little disappointed. “I thought I’d get a better reaction than that.”
So Katie explained, about the visit home and the panic attacks and
“Oh, I forgot,” said Jamie. “He was here.”
“Who?”
“Mum’s fancy man.”
“What do you mean, he was here?” she asked.
“He gave her a lift, apparently. He was keeping a pretty low profile. For obvious reasons. I bumped into him when I arrived.”
“So, what’s he like?”
Jamie shrugged.
“Would you shag him?” she asked.
Jamie raised his eyebrows and she realized that recent events were sending her a little bonkers.
“Sharing an aging bisexual lover with my own mother,” said Jamie. “I think life is probably difficult enough already.” He paused. “Dapper. Suntan. Roll-neck sweater. A little too much aftershave.”
She leaned forward and took hold of his hands. “Are you OK?”
He laughed. “Yeh. Surprisingly enough I am.”
She knew precisely what he meant. And at that moment it really was all right. The two of them sitting quietly together. The eye of the storm.
“So, are you getting married?” Jamie asked.
“God knows. Mum’s over the moon. Of course. So, naturally, there’s a part of me that wants to marry Ray just to piss her off.” She went silent for a moment. “It should be simple, shouldn’t it. I mean, you either love someone or you don’t. It’s not exactly quantum theory. But I haven’t got a clue, Jamie. Not a clue.”
A young Asian man in a dark blue suit walked in through the double doors and went up to the desk. He seemed sober but his shirt was covered in blood.
She remembered all those cartoons of boys sitting in hospital waiting rooms with pans on their heads, and wondered if it was actually possible to get a pan stuck on your head.
Cutting the cancer off with scissors. It was utterly logical when you thought about it. Rather strong treatment for eczema, though.
The Asian man fell over. Not in a slumpy way. But rigid. Like a rake, or the big hand of a very fast clock. He made a loud noise when he hit the floor. It was funny and not funny all at the same time.
He was stretchered away.
Then Ray and Jacob appeared.
Jacob said, “He was…There was a…Grandpa was snoring.”
Ray said, “You haven’t seen your mum, have you?”
“Why?” asked Jamie.
“She went a bit weird then legged it.”
Jacob looked at Jamie. “Magic the coin.”
“Later, OK?” He stood up and ruffled Jacob’s hair. “I’ll go and find her.”
Ten minutes later they were heading back to the village.
They took Mum in their car. Katie got into the back with Jacob. Mum was clearly not too chuffed about sitting in the front with Ray but Katie was perversely entertained by the sight of the two of them trying to sustain a polite conversation.
Besides, she liked being in the back with Jacob. The children. No responsibilities. The adults sorting everything out. Like that summer in Italy when the engine of the Alfa Romeo ruptured outside Reggio Emilia and they pulled over at the side of the road and the man with the amazing mustache came and said that it was
