The Butcher Boy

heard someone calling: Francie!

I thought it was Joe whee-hoo I said but it was someone I didn't know who it was. I wasn't sure what to do then or where to go then I says what am I on about I'll go down to Joe's where else would I go. I blew my nail hopping about on the step then out comes Mr Purcell. Well Mr Purcell I said is the man himself there. He looked at me for a minute then he looked over my shoulder and waved at somebody some neighbour getting out of a car with a box of groceries. No, he says, Joe isn't here. The neighbour called something and Mr Purcell laughed. Oh now, he says. They went on yapping there for a while, about the weather and all this. Ah sure the farmers will never be pleased says your man. No, says Mr Purcell, now you said it. There was a fair crowd at the match Sunday. There was. Marty Dowds had a good game. He had. Marty's shaping up to be a right wee player. He is.

I just stood there on the step waiting for your man to go in. Right he says I'll see you and then he'd start into something else cars or some other shite. Then he says right so good luck now. He waved and next thing Mr Purcell smiles and closes the door behind him it just happened he didn't slam it or anything. I'd been waiting so long I forgot what I wanted to say and when I remembered it was too late and the door was closed. I waited there on the step for a minute then I just went away.

I went round to Roche's house a few times and waited for him but he never appeared I think he must have went on holidays.

They said I had to stay at the primary school even if I was older than the rest. I didn't know any of them. My class had gone on ahead to the secondary school along with Joe. I sat at the back and did nothing. No – that's not true. I played Oxo and wrote Francis Brady was here with a penknife. The master says to me who put the Vikings back into the sea I says Daniel O'Connell come out here he says and gave me a crack of the stair rod across the arm. I'll give it to you, he says, you needn't think you'll try any of your tricks with me Brady! Leddy's the man for you, that's the only place you'll ever be any good for!

I knew why he was doing that, he heard them saying in the jakes Brady was going to batter the master. I don't how they got that into their heads I had more to do than batter doddery old masters with whiskey noses and hands that wouldn't stop shaking so I thought the best thing to do was quit going to school altogether. They were all getting fond of this fellow Leddy. Da looks at me and says: Its either school or Leddy's! You'd be as well to make up your mind!

Leddy was the butcher who owned the slaughterhouse. There was always jobs there for no one wanted to do it. To hell with Leddy and his pigs, I said. Its good enough for the likes of you da said lying about here morning noon and night! and went off mumbling to the Tower.

Sometimes I'd just lie there on the sofa until Joe got out of school. After a while you didn't even notice the smell only if someone else mentioned it. There was an old chicken da took home out of the Tower after a do one night. It was all flies and maggots so I fucked that out. I think Grouse got it out of the bin the crafty bastard.

I always met Joe at the bottom of Church Hill. There was no more talk about the school for pigs or anything that went on there, that was all finished now and soon it would be all back the way it used to be. I got things for him, not comics he didn't read them much anymore, fags or sweets maybe. I got the fags from behind the bar in the hotel I knew the barman went out to change the barrel at the same time every day. I got the sweets in Mary's but I paid for them I'd never lift anything on her. Then we'd head off out to the river. I told him I could get him anything he wanted. We had some laughs out there. It was no different to the old days. It was just the same only better. Isn't it Joe? I'd say. He said it was. I says its better than the school and exams and all that shit isn't it Joe. I asked him to put on the cowboy voices like he used to. He said he couldn't do them any more. Go on, try Joe I said. I can't do them, he said, that's a long time ago. I know it is Joe I said but I'll bet you can still do them. No he says I can't. But I knew he could. Try it Joe I says. Then he said it – OK fellas we're ridin' out!

You see Joe, I said, you can do it!

It was just like John Wayne. You'd swear it was him. I was over the moon when he did that voice. He used to spin his silver colt and say it just like that – OK fellas we're ridin' out! Say it again Joe I said, say it again! I couldn't stop asking him to say it again. But I had to in the end for I could see him getting red under the eyes and I didn't want to annoy him anyway he'd said it enough he was tired he said he had to get back. I left him in town and then I came back out myself. I'd try doing the voice but I could never get it as good as Joe. I'd lie there on flattened yellow grass where he had been but no matter how I tried it I always got it arseways. It didn't sound like John Wayne at all. It sounded more like the bird what do you call him – I taught I taw a puddytat.

I kept at Joe to come tracking in the mountains. We'll pray to the Manitou like we used to – it'll be a good laugh I said. Oh come on Francie – for god's sake! Joe said.

The Manitou, I said – yamma yamma yamma death to all dogs who enter here! For fuck's sake Joe!

He laughed when I said that and then he said OK it was the best day yet you'd think Nugents or the school for pigs or Tiddly and all that had never happened. We spun stones across the lake and when I looked at Joe doing that I nearly wanted to cry the feeling I got was so good. Everything was so clear and glittering and polished I said to myself: Those days in the lane. We didn't imagine them. They were just like this.

I was thinking that with my eyes closed when I heard Buttsy's voice. He was standing in front of me with his thumbs hooked in his belt.

Devlin was chewing a match and carrying a fishing rod. Well well. If it isn't our lucky day, says Buttsy. Devlin was rubbing away at the hands like he'd won the sweep. Buttsy looked at Joe.

I want no trouble with you, Purcell, he says. Its him we want, says Devlin. You're going to be sorry now. You're going to be sorry for what you done, Brady.

Who's going to make me sorry I says. Buttsy got all pale when I said that.

Joe says: Don't Francie. Don't start any trouble.

We'll make you sorry, says Devlin and took a swing at me. When I was ducking I twisted my ankle on a rock.

Then Buttsy drew a kick at me and knocked me to the ground.

Devlin says Come on! and got stuck in with his big farmer's boots. Next thing Buttsy has the hunting knife out it was trembling away in his hand. You've had it now, Brady, said Devlin, we'll gut you like a pig.

What you done on my sister, Buttsy says. Her nerves have never been the same since.

He was as white as a sheet and I could see the sweat gleaming on his forehead. Do you hear me! he says. She had to go to the doctor after what you done! Roche has her on three different kinds of tablets – three different kinds of tablets!

Devlin kicked me on the bad ankle. You fucking cunt, he says. When he said that I started to to cry.

Ha! says Buttsy, and he got all excited then…

Look at him now, says Devlin.

That's more like it, says Buttsy.

You see, Devlin, I told you, says Buttsy, slipping the knife back into his pocket, coming back to himself, he can dish it out but he can't take it. I said: I know what I done was wrong Buttsy. I know! I was trying to catch Joe's eye to give him the signal but he couldn't see me he was all on edge.

Women, says Devlin, that's all he's able for, women, he can give it to the women all right but when it comes to you and me its a different story, eh Buttsy?

Then they started whispering between themselves, what they were going to do with me.

I'll do anything I said. You should have thought of that before you broke into people's houses says Devlin and hit me another dig.

For fuck's sake, would you look at him! Look at him now! There's your buddy now Purcell. There's your buddy from the Terrace!

Buttsy took out a fag and lit it.

Then he goes over to Joe and says to him: What are you doing hanging about with him? What does your old man say?