“Yeah, okay.”
They were both embarrassed, and neither of them could say anything for a long, long moment. Dennis was thinking that this would be the point, in a c & w song, where the Best Friend steps in. And a sneaking, mean (and randy) part of him wouldn’t be averse to that. Not at all. He was still powerfully attracted to her, more attracted than he had been to any girl in a long time. Maybe ever. Let Arnie run bottle-rockets and cherry-bombs over to Burlington and fuck around with his car. He and Leigh could get to know each other better in the meantime. A little aid and comfort. You know how it is.
And he had a feeling at just that awkward moment, after her profession of love for Arnie, that he could do it; she was vulnerable. She was maybe learning how to be tough, but it’s not a school anyone goes to willingly. He could say something—the right something, maybe only Come here—and she would come, sit on the edge of the bed, they would talk some more, maybe about pleasanter things, and maybe he would kiss her. Her mouth was lovely and full, sensual, made to kiss and be kissed. Once for comfort. Twice out of friendship. And three times pays for all. Yes, he felt with an instinct that had so far been quite reliable that it could be done.
But he didn’t say any of the things that could have started those things happening, and neither did Leigh. Arnie was between them, and almost surely always would be. Arnie and his lady. If it hadn’t been so ludicrously ghastly, he could have laughed.
“When are they letting you out?” she asked.
“On an unsuspecting public?” he asked, and began to giggle. After a moment she joined him in his laughter “Yes, something like that,” Leigh said, and then snickered again. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be,” Dennis said. “People have been laughing at me all my life. I’m used to it. They say I’m stuck here until January, but I’m going to fool them. I’m going home for Christmas. I’m working my buns off down in the torture chamber.”
“Torture chamber?”
“Physical therapy. My back’s looking good. The other bones are knitting busily—the itch is terrible sometimes. I’m gobbling rosehips by the bushel basket. Dr Arroway says that’s nothing but a folk-tale, but Coach Puffer swears by them, and he checks the bottle every time he comes to visit.”
“Does he come often? The Coach?”
“Yeah, he does. Now he’s got me half-believing that stuff about rosehips making your broken bones knit faster.” Dennis paused. “Of course, I’m not going to be playing any more football, not ever. I’m going to be on crutches for a while, and then, with luck, I’ll graduate to a cane. Cheerful old Dr Arroway tells me I’m going to limp for maybe a couple of years. Or maybe I’ll always limp.”
“I’m so sorry,” she said in a low voice. “I’m sorry it had to happen to a nice guy like you, Dennis, but part of it’s selfish. I just wonder if all the rest of this, all this horrible stuff with Arnie, if it would have happened if you’d been up and around.”
“That’s right,” Dennis said, rolling his eyes dramatically, “blame it on me.”
But she didn’t smile. “I’ve started to worry about his sanity, did you know that? That’s the one thing I haven’t told my folks or his folks. But I think his mother… that she might… I don’t know what he said to her that night, after we found the car all smashed up, but… I think they must have really put their claws into each other.”
Dennis nodded.
“But it’s all so… so mad! His parents offered to buy him a good used car to replace Christine, and he said no. Then Mr Cunningham told me on the ride home that he offered to buy Arnie a new car… to cash in some bonds he’s held ever since 1955. Arnie said no, he couldn’t just take a present like that. And Mr Cunningham said he could understand that, and it didn’t have to be a present, that Arnie could pay him back, that he’d even take interest if that was what Arnie wanted… Dennis, do you see what I’m saying?”
“Yeah,” Dennis said. “It can’t be just any car. It’s got to be that car. Christine.”
“But to me that seems obsessive. He’s found one object and fixed on it. Isn’t that what an obsession is? I’m scared, and sometimes I feel hateful… but it’s not him I’m scared of. It’s not him I hate. It’s that frig—no, it’s that fucking car. That bitch Christine.”
High colour bloomed in her cheeks. Her eyes narrowed. The corners of her mouth turned down. Her face was suddenly no longer beautiful, not even pretty; the light on it was pitiless, changing it into something that was ugly but all the same striking, compelling. Dennis realized for the first time why they called it the monster, the green-eyed monster.
I’ll tell you what I wish would happen,” Leigh said. “I wish somebody would take his precious fucking Christine out back some night by mistake, out where they put the junks from Philly Plains.” Her eyes sparkled venomously. “And the next day I wish that crane with the big round magnet would come and pick it up and put it in the crusher and I wish someone would push the button and what would come out would be a little cube of metal about three by three by three. Then this would be over, wouldn’t it?”
Dennis didn’t answer, and after a moment he could almost see the monster turn around and wrap its scaly tail around itself and steal out of her face. Her shoulders sagged.
“Guess that sounds pretty horrible, doesn’t it? Like saying I wish those hoods had finished the job.”
“I understand how you feel.”
“Do you?” she challenged.
Dennis thought of Arnie’s look as he had pounded his fists on the dashboard. The kind of maniacal light that came into his eyes when he was around her. He thought of sitting behind the wheel in LeBay’s garage, and the kind of vision that had come over him.
Last of all, he thought of his dream: headlights bearing down on him in the high womanscream of burning rubber.
“Yes,” he said. “I think I do.”
They looked at each other in the hospital room.
29
THANKSGIVING
Two-three hours passed us by,
Altitude dropped to 505,
Fuel consumption way too thin,
Let’s get home before we run out of gas.
Now you can’t catch me—
No, baby, you can’t catch me—
’Cause if you get too close,
I’m gone like a cooool breeze.
At the hospital they served Thanksgiving dinner in shifts from eleven in the morning until one in the afternoon. Dennis got his at quarter past twelve: three careful slices of white turkey breast, one careful ladleful of brown gravy, a scoop of instant mashed potatoes the exact size and shape of a baseball (lacking only the red stitches, he thought with sour amusement), a like scoop of frozen squash that was an arrogant fluorescent orange, and a small plastic container of cranberry jelly. For dessert there was ice cream. Resting on the corner of his tray was a small blue card.
Wise to the ways of the hospital by now—once you have been treated for the first set of bedsores to crop up on your ass, Dennis had discovered, you’re wiser to the ways of the hospital than you ever wanted to be—he asked the candy-striper who came to take away his tray what the yellow and red cards got for their Thanksgiving dinner. It turned out that the yellow cards got two pieces of turkey, no gravy, potato, no squash, and Jell-O for dessert. The red cards got one slice of white meat, pureed, and potato. Fed to them, in most cases.
Dennis found it all pretty depressing. It was only too easy to imagine his mother bringing a great big
