'I promise.'
She held her finger up to him. 'Good, cause the Simi knows akri can't break his word.'
He smiled and pulled out his black American Express card for her. 'Go shop.'
She squeed before she ran to the TV and turned it on.
Wanting to be alone, Ash walked through the palace even though he could teleport. There were some times when walking and just being normal meant more to him than all of his god powers combined.
Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. There were some things that didn't need to be done. It was why none of the beings he'd consulted with would tell him shit about his future. Why he didn't heal Tory. There were some lessons, even hard ones, that everyone had to learn. Even the gods.
But right now, he didn't want to learn anything else. He wanted solace and comfort and there was no one for him to turn to to get it. So he entered his bedroom and picked up his guitar from its floor stand. He had a couple of dozen guitars spread throughout the palace here and the various apartments that he kept all over the world, but this one…
This was his baby. A Fender James Burton Telecaster with a maple neck and black body covered with red paisley flames, it had the fullest sound he'd ever heard. Sure he had more expensive guitars, but to him nothing played sweeter or smoother than this one.
Simi had even carved a message for him into the back of it.
Ash smiled every time he saw that and his heart swelled with love for her. She could make him smile no matter how upset or sad he was, but she couldn't comfort him today.
He sat down on the bed and just started strumming. Before he knew it, he was playing Pink Floyd's 'Wish You Were Here.' It was a song that had haunted him since the first time he'd heard it. It was like the writer had known exactly what was in his heart. It was all about the decisions that changed a life and how perceptions could change any and all situations and feelings.
The problem was right now his feelings were so twisted and conflicting that he didn't even know how to begin to sort through them. Torn between what he should do and what he wanted to do.
Torn between three women who were at odds with each other and with him. His mother who wanted to destroy the world, Artemis who wanted to kill Tory, and Tory who wanted to expose him to save her father's reputation.
Unable to stand it, he got up and tossed the guitar on his bed.
'I am a god.'
But what good did it really do him? He was still ensnared by Artemis, controlled by her. He was no less afraid now than he'd been as a human. In fact he was more so because now his powers were absolute. With one whispered word, he could end the world. His decisions didn't affect just his life, they could affect everyone's.
Look what he'd done to Nick. Had Ash still been human, he'd have only beat Nick up for sleeping with Simi. As a god, he'd not only caused Nick to kill himself, but in order to bring that commanded fate into being, Nick's mother had been murdered as well as the sister of his friends Tabitha and Amanda.
He hated these powers. Most of all, he hated the responsibility. 'I just want to be alone…'
A knock on his door intruded on his thoughts.
Ash let out a tired breath as he dreaded what was happening now. 'Yeah?'
The door opened to show Urian standing there, looking at him with a guarded expression. 'You're really not right, are you?'
Ash narrowed his gaze. 'I hope you mean that the way I'm going to take it. Otherwise, in the mood I'm in, you might get your ass kicked.'
Urian laughed. 'Yeah I do.' He entered the room and shut the door. 'Look, I heard you when you came in. Not what you said, but what was underneath it. I know it's in my best interest to stay out of it. However, you saved my life once, even though I didn't want you to at the time, and I feel like maybe I should return the favor.'
Ash frowned at him as those words pricked at the times in his life when he'd been brought back from death against his will. 'I shouldn't have interfered with that, Urian, and I'm sorry for the pain you live with because of it.'
Urian's eyes were full of bittersweet torment. 'You know, it's all right. If I'd died, Phoebe would have followed me to the grave anyway.' Phoebe had been Urian's wife. They'd met when Stryker had sent Urian after her to kill her. Instead he'd fallen in love with her and turned her into a Daimon like him so that they could be together. That forbidden love had cost him his life and Stryker had killed Phoebe in a fit of anger.
Urian cleared his throat. 'Unlike me, she wasn't capable of taking a human life, even if the human deserved to die. The only way she could have continued living would have been to feed from another Daimon and that she wouldn't have done either. So you didn't really change her fate by saving me. My father was going to kill her regardless.'
But if Urian had stayed dead, he wouldn't have witnessed Phoebe's death and he wouldn't live with the constant pain of it.
'Besides, if I'd died, my niece and nephews wouldn't have someone to threaten their dad when he's overprotective of them.' Urian smiled sadly. 'I'm the only uncle they have. Kids need an uncle, you know?'
Not from Ash's point of view, but that was a different wound. 'So why the sudden girlspeak, Urian? Neither one of us is really into discussing our feelings… and no offense, I like the fact we don't.'
Urian's gaze burned him with its passion. 'I do too most times and I'm truly grateful you don't pry, but as a man who defied everything he once valued in this world and one who sacrificed the love of a father he worshiped… even though it ended badly, the days I had with Phoebe were worth
He moved closer to Ash. 'I know what it's like to be torn between a love so pure it burns you deep down in a place you didn't know someone could touch you and between your oath and duties. Between the love of a father you've always known and one you know you can depend on forever versus a love that's new and untested. But you know what I learned? It's a lot easier to live without my father's love than it is to live without Phoebe's. I just thought you ought to know that.'
Ash didn't speak as Urian left him alone. But he did feel the fissure of power in the air behind him. It was a sensation he knew well.
Jaden.
'That just makes you want to vomit doesn't it?'
Ash arched a brow at the caustic words.
Jaden folded his arms over his chest as he leaned against the wall so that his long brown coat fell open. 'Lovey-dovey bullshit. Now let me tell you about what happens when you betray everything you hold dear and the bitch doesn't return the favor. Oh wait, you know that lesson already. The problem is you take the leap and you don't know until it's too late to pull back if you're going to land on a foam-covered mattress or jagged rocks where you lie impaled, slowly bleeding and wishing you'd just die already.'
Ash scoffed at the vivid imagery. 'You are such a bitter shit.'
Jaden shrugged. 'My bitterness comes with good company which is normally you.'
It was true. They both knew betrayal and they both knew ultimate suffering and the scars it left on the soul and heart. 'Why are you here?'
Jaden rolled his eyes. 'Your demon is calling me to barter with for a new bag. Thought her daddy might want to take her shopping before she makes me an offer I can't refuse and I make you one really unhappy god-not that I'd care, but since we've been known to help each other out from time to time…'
'I appreciate the warning.'
'Yeah well, it's what happens when we spoil the things we love. They don't always understand the boundaries and their ridiculous wants can get us killed if we're not careful.'
Ash inclined his head in understanding. Though to be honest, he didn't know what had caused Jaden to become the demon broker. If there was ever a being who was less communicative about his past than Ash, it was Jaden. And in all these centuries, Ash had never met a creature yet who knew exactly how Jaden had come to be what he was.
Jaden offered him a sinister smirk. 'Bed the woman until neither of you can walk, and get her out of your system. Remember, no matter what they are or where they come from, all women have one simple birth defect.
