He picked up one of the uneaten crullers and twisted it with both hands until it broke into sticky chunks. There was no question about where he wanted to go. Right now he wanted to be holed up in Maria's girlie-girl room, doing… anything. Watching some bad horror movie. Anything. As long as she was there doing it with him.
But that's not going to happen, he ordered himself. It's not fair to her. And be honest, buddy, it would probably kill you.
ELEVEN
Isabel nervously twirled a golf club between her fingers, scanning the parking lot of the Black Hole Putt-Putt Golf Course. She smiled when she spotted Alex's VW Rabbit turning in, then rushed over to the car as he pulled into a parking spot. Isabel didn't make a habit of rushing toward guys-even if she felt like it. But there was no reason to play those kinds of games with Alex.
'I got you a golf club already,' she announced before Alex even had a chance to swing both feet to the ground.
'Thanks,' Alex said. He took one of the clubs and shook his head, laughing.
'What?' Isabel asked, grinning because his laugh was always contagious.
'I was just thinking about the last time we came here,' he answered. 'My brain was doing this gerbil-on-an- exercise-wheel thing. I kept trying to figure out if you thought we were on a date, or, you know, some kind of significant outing. And I was obsessed with debating whether or not you could actually want me to touch you.'
'I bet you almost had a heart attack when I kissed you,' Isabel said, nudging him with her club. 'Remember? It was right over-'
Alex grabbed her hand and pulled her halfway across the parking lot. 'It was right here,' he told her. He pointed toward a small, spray-painted X. 'I put that there,' he admitted.
Coming from someone else, this gesture might have seemed odd, but coming from Alex, Isabel didn't even blink. 'I can't believe how much has happened since then. How much has changed.' Isabel knelt down and gently touched the X.
'As Liz's dad would say, what a long, strange trip it's been,' Alex answered. 'So when are you going to get around to telling me whatever it is you want to tell me? Because I'm just not going for your story about having an irresistible desire to play minigolf.'
'Trevor didn't need me after all,' Isabel said, standing, but finding herself unable to meet his eyes. 'It turned out that the two-person job was more of a one-person job. I just wanted to get out of the house and-' Isabel stopped herself, blushing. 'All right, I do need to talk to you,' she confessed.
'Father Manes is ready to listen,' he said, lowering his voice. He led the way to the first hole.
Isabel carefully positioned her ball on the little rubber mat, stalling, then straightened up and gave the ball a whack without even trying to aim at one of the moon craters.
'Here's the deal. After we shatter the consciousness-' She didn't allow herself even a mental
Alex hit his ball down the faded purple carpet. His didn't get through one of the moon craters, either. 'This is… it's big.'
'That's not all,' Isabel told him. She wanted to get everything out, needed to, but her hands were getting sweaty and her heart was pounding. 'Trevor asked me to go with them. And I just have no idea what I should do. I was making myself insane, then I realized that I needed to talk it over with someone.' She shook her head. 'No. I needed to talk it over with
'Are you two golfing or what?' a kid yelled from behind them.
'Hey, pip-squeak. This is a serious game. For serious people. You can't respect that, I suggest you leave,' Alex said. He took Isabel's hand and led her down the fairway, grabbing both their balls and throwing them into the moon crater. A few seconds later they clunked into the metal cup on the other side. 'That's two holes in two. Write that down with one of those little pencils,' he told her. Then he led the way over to a bench by a shocking pink spaceship. 'So, what are you thinking?' he asked.
'I'm thinking…' Isabel gave a helpless shrug. 'I don't know what I'm thinking.'
'I'm not saying you should go, but it would be kind of like living in Star Wars,' Alex said. 'I always wanted to live in Star Wars.'
'Where everyone has long hair and gold bikinis?' Isabel chided.
'Not everyone,' Alex said, sounding horrified. 'Only the women.' He waved the group of kids past them. 'We're considering the strategy of the next hole. You can play through.' He turned his attention back to Isabel. 'That's only part of my Star Wars fascination. I just always thought it would be cool to be part of something so important.'
'So you want to save the universe, surrounded by girls in gold bikinis,' Isabel commented.
'Exactly. So many times I've felt like my life is so little and insignificant. And I daydream about having the chance to do something-dork alert!-heroic. Like Han Solo,' Alex admitted, a faint blush coloring his cheeks. 'Then when I found out the truth about you and the others, it's almost like I got the chance. This year we've had to deal with a lot of life-and-death stuff. Sometimes I wonder how it's going to feel to go back to freaking about zits on my back or whatever.'
'Shopping for the perfect accessories,' Isabel added. She stretched her legs out in front of her. 'I don't think I'll ever find anything more meaningful to do with my life than help the beings who fought against the collective consciousness.'
She didn't usually spend a lot of time thinking about meaning-of-life-type issues. It seemed like a waste. But that's what this decision was really about. Isabel had the chance to be a part of something enormous-the restructuring of a whole planet. Her real home.
'And the downside is?' Alex asked, raising his eyebrows.
'It would ruin my parents' lives,' Isabel answered. She didn't even need a second to think about that one. 'I'd just disappear. And they'd never stop looking for me, wondering if I was alive or dead. It's different for Michael. All the people that really matter to him know the truth. They'll at least know what happened. And he'll have his brother with him.'
'You'd have Michael with you,' Alex said. 'And Trevor.' He turned and watched the kids finish up the spaceship hole. 'I get the feeling something may be starting between the two of you,' he added, without looking at her.
'Maybe,' Isabel agreed. 'But I'm not going to go live on another planet because I like the way a guy kisses.' Although there was more than kisses between her and Trevor. They'd known each other such a short time, but there was this
'The editors of Ms. magazine will be glad to hear it,' Alex said, still looking at the kids.
Isabel reached out, took his chin in her fingers, and turned his head toward her. 'It's okay that I'm talking to you about Trevor, isn't it?'
Alex met her gaze steadily. 'Yeah. I get a little… ping, I guess you'd call it,' he said with a shrug. 'But it's just your basic guy jealousy crap. I mean, we're friends, Isabel. And I-dork alert again-I love you as a friend. I want you to have everything you want. Including Trevor if that's the way it goes down.'
'I love you, too,' Isabel answered. 'And there's nothing dorky about it. God, I would miss you so much if I went. You, and Maria, and Liz. And it's not like I could just call you up if I needed to hear your voice. I couldn't even send my parents a Christmas card.'
'When is all this supposed to happen?' Alex asked, looking away again. 'When are Trevor and Michael going to go back?'
'They're going to use the wormhole we open to send the device,' Isabel answered.
'So tomorrow.' Alex sounded a little dazed.
Isabel knew how he was feeling. How could she make a decision about the rest of her life in less than a day?
'I told Trevor I needed to see how Max was first,' Isabel said, following Alex's gaze out over the golf course. 'If he needs me, I'm staying. That's it.'
