flower.'
Jesse nodded. 'Yeah. But since it's made out of plastic, and this is broad daylight and not a romantic evening, it doesn't have quite the effect I'd hoped for.'
'Oh,' Isabel reassured him, 'that rose had plenty of effect.' For just an instant she couldn't believe she'd said that. It was out of character for the Isabel Evans she'd believed she'd grown up to be. But that was before she'd learned all the truths about her own parentage.
And it was before she'd lost Alex… before Tess had killed the guy who could have been her first true love.
'Being out here with you is great,' Jesse went on.
'That's a decent save,' Isabel said.
'But it's not the same as being able to take you around our city and let people know we're together.'
'We can't do that,' Isabel said, and the thought turned her cold inside. Her parents had been dealt enough mysteries and changes lately, and one more… especially this one… would have been too much.
'I know,' Jesse said. 'I'm just frustrated.'
'Why?'
Jesse plucked another grape and rolled the fruit between his fingers. 'Because I'm afraid we're going to get stuck here.'
'What do you mean?'
For a moment Jesse didn't look like he was going to continue. He let out a long breath. 'You and me. Stuck. As in, can't go any farther than this.'
Isabel leaned back on the hard stone picnic bench. In truth, the rest stop off U.S. 285 between Roswell and Santa Fe wasn't very romantic. After seeing the area a number of times while growing up there, the area could hardly even be called picturesque anymore.
'What are you trying to say?' Isabel asked. She felt her heart thudding inside her chest. Jesse was nearly ten years older than she was. If she'd told her high school friends, they'd have been scandalized even though several of them had crushes on the young male teachers from time to time. In fact, she'd been content to leave the whole dating thing alone because she'd known she was different. Then Max had fallen head over heels for Liz, and Michael started crushing on Maria, and… and Alex had been there for her when everyone else seemed to be going away.
Unexpectedly, memory burned at the backs of Isabel's eyes. She put the remnant of her sandwich down and concentrated on keeping her emotions under control. She looked away from Jesse, trying to find something, anything, to focus on. A silver sparkle in the distance behind Jesse caught her attention for just an instant but disappeared just as quickly.
'I'm sorry,' Jesse said in a softer voice.
Isabel, centered once more in what Michael sometimes called her Ice Princess mode, looked back at Jesse. 'There's no need to be sorry.'
'I hurt your feelings.'
'That's my fault,' Isabel said. 'I shouldn't have left them out there to be hurt.' She reached into the picnic basket for the small paper garbage bag she had brought and started cleaning the table.
'Isabel,' Jesse said.
'What?' she asked, concentrating on cleaning the table.
'Talk to me.'
'I am.'
'I said I was sorry.'
Isabel nodded. 'And I said there was no reason to be.'
'This… this situation isn't easy on either of us.'
'I know.' Isabel put the silverware in an empty plastic container she'd brought for that purpose. Maybe they had to sneak around through Roswell and didn't dare eat in any of the restaurants because they might get caught, but she hadn't wanted to use plastic silverware. She'd bought a handful of her own and kept them separate from the rest in the Evanses' household, part of this other secret life she had from her parents.
Jesse fell silent.
Isabel stopped cleaning and looked at him. 'What do you want?'
'For people to know we're together.'
'Jesse,' Isabel said, 'we don't even know if we're together.'
'I'm too old for a summer fling,' Jesse said. 'I gave those up before law school.'
For a moment, Isabel felt angry. Then she squelched the emotion. Jesse was trying to be honest, just trying to let her know what was on his mind.
'I,' Isabel said distinctly, 'have never been interested in summer flings. I've never had one, and I never will.'
Jesse spread his hands. 'Then what is this?'
Isabel thought for a moment. 'This, counselor,' she said, 'is what we call an exploratory discussion leading to discovery.'
'Now you manifest a sense of humor,' he grumbled.
A large RV whipped by out on U.S. 285. The sound faded in the distance. High overhead, three hawks floated lazily in the thermals, each of them forming a distinct tri-corner of personal hunting territory.
'I've always had a sense of humor,' Isabel said.
Jesse started to say something, then obviously decided not to.
'Wise choice, counselor,' Isabel said.
Jesse looked at her earnestly. 'This is scary for me. I've never been in this deep before.'
'You make it sound like you're drowning.'
'No,' Jesse said. He shook his head and captured her hands in his. 'It's just that I didn't expect somebody like you. Not for a long time. Maybe not ever. While I was in law school, keeping the grades up while working was hard, maybe the hardest thing I'd ever done. I kept my feelings walled up, put out of reach of anyone who came along.'
'There were others who came along?' Isabel asked.
'Plead the Fifth,' Jesse said.
'Good,' Isabel said, 'because I don't want to know.' She paused and took a breath. 'I've never been this far before either. Never this far, and I've never gotten involved in anything so big so fast. Christmas is my favorite time of the year, and I always plan that out. I plan out everything that I do.'
'But I wasn't in the plans,' Jesse said.
'No,' Isabel said.
'And your future plans?'
'I'm still working out Christmas.'
Jesse laughed. 'In June?'
'Christmas is huge. It's supposed to be wonderful and exciting. I do everything I can to make it that way, including a lot of volunteer work for the city. I've been doing that for years.'
'But you haven't made any plans for us?'
Isabel gripped his hand with both of hers. 'Plans like that are better planned by two people. Right now, I'm just working on still seeing you without my parents knowing. The possibility of getting caught also exists.'
'What do you think your dad would do?' Jesse asked.
Isabel smiled. 'Hmmm. I'm clerking in his office and secretly dating his newest young lawyer. I'm thinking a straight-out dismissal for you, and maybe ten years of hard grounding for me.'
'Because of the age difference?'
'Because I didn't come forward and tell my parents,' Isabel replied. Actually, it would have probably been better to leave the planet than to tell my parents. 'And because I'm interfering with the performance of my dad's newest hotshot attorney.'
'I haven't missed a day in court, though,' Jesse said. He glanced at his watch. 'And speaking of days in court, I'm due back for a deposition in a little while.'
Isabel allowed Jesse to help finish cleaning up, but that help consisted mostly of him just jamming everything
