something called me back. That something was you. Now that we're on the run, I realize there are things I can't live without. People I can't live without.' He paused and took a deep breath. 'I finally know what I want, what I've always been looking for. I want you, Maria.'
She had listened to him in silence, her face blank. When he finished, she seemed to be collecting herself, then she spoke. When she talked, her voice was tight.
'Well, call the media: Michael Guerin has figured out what he wants. It's a miracle,' Maria said.
Michael was flummoxed. His stomach had been in knots during his speech. Now he wasn't sure how to react. 'Look, I don't know if you think this is coming too late, or that I'm doing this wrong, but I know that I want you and I'll do whatever I have to do to make us happen again,' he said.
'What about what I want?' Maria said.
'I thought we wanted each other,' Michael said.
'What if I don't want youT Maria said, raising her voice.
For a second, the old feelings came back to him with incredible swiftness. Of course, she didn't want him. Why would she? He didn't deserve her. He didn't belong with her. He belonged with a drunken SOB named Hank in a tin box at the trailer park.
As Maria continued to yell at him, Michael felt the blood rush to his cheeks and his throat get tight.
'… it isn't always about you, you know,' she was saying.
He put up his hands and shouted back, 'Enough!' he said.
Michael couldn't wait any longer, he had to know. He had been patient while they were on the road. Maria had a lot to deal with, they all did. He was content to give her the time that she seemed to need. But this wasn't about time. This was about something else, something more basic and much more important.
Unconsciously, Michael felt himself pulling back from her, retreating to the edge of the bed. He stopped himself by force of will. She was looking at him expectantly, waiting for him to say something. He hesitated, drawing out the moment because he was afraid of what was going to happen next.
'All right, Maria. What do you want? Do you want what I want? Do you want me?'
She turned away. 'Michael, everything is so complicated…'
Reaching out, he pulled on her shoulder so she was forced to face him. 'No, it isn't. I used to tell myself that it was complicated, but you and I have never been complicated.' He made himself continue without hesitating. 'So Maria, tell me: Do you want me?'
She looked stricken for a moment, and he knew that he was giving away too much on his own face. For perhaps the first time in his life he found that he didn't care. She was about to answer the most important question he had asked in his life.
Her face softened, and she reached for his cheek with one hand. 'Michael…,' she began.
He had dreaded what she might say, but he needed to know the truth. 'It's a simple question, Maria: yes or no?' he pressed, keeping his voice steady with effort. He held his eyes on hers. Whatever happened, he wanted to see it coming. For a moment, she was silent, and he felt his life hanging suspended on a wire, waiting.
He didn't have to wait long this time.
'No,' she said in a soft voice.
Michael felt like he had been hit in the stomach by a truck. As he was still absorbing her answer, she said softly, 'I'm sorry, Michael.'
He wanted to say something, to change her mind, or maybe to hurt her, but his defenses were gone. All he could do was stare at her face as tears ran down her cheeks.
'I love you,' he said, surprised that he could speak at all. He took a deep breath. 'I would die for you.'
Suddenly she screamed, reached out with both hands, and shoved him. Already close to the edge of the bed, he felt himself fall backward and landed hard on the wooden floor.
'What the…,' he sputtered in surprise.
Maria peered over the bed, looking down at him. He tested his limbs to make sure he wasn't hurt.
Getting to his feet, he asked, 'What? You're upset that I would die for you?' His momentary confusion was making him forget what had just happened between them.
'Why are you in such a rush to die, Michael?' Maria said, anger flashing across her face.
By the time Michael got to his feet, she was on hers and leaning into him.
'I'm not in a rush to die, but… '
'But you'd die for me?' she spat back at him.
'I would,' he said.
'What about Max? Would you die for him?' she shouted.
'Yes, of course,' he said, without thinking.
'Let's say you died for me, or Max, or some stray dog… where does that leave me, Michael?' Maria said.
'Well, I mean… I don't think it's going to come to that,' he said, no less confused than he had been before this conversation had taken its bizarre turn.
'But it is, isn't it. You are going to die. Liz saw it in her vision,' Maria said.
'She also saw you going over the balcony, but I told you I wouldn't let that happen.'
'Let's say you don't. Then what? And let's say you prevent Liz's vision of you from coming true. You still don't get it. You think you're the tough one: Sonny Corleone, the hothead, the fighter. You've practically got 'Most Likely to Die' tattooed to your forehead,' Maria said.
'Everybody dies, not everybody… '
She cut him off, tears running down her face. 'I'm tired of this macho crap. What if I don't want a dead boyfriend?' she sobbed.
'Maria,' he said, reaching out for her with both hands.
She pushed his hands away. 'Get away from me. Get out of here,' she said.
Michael felt anger replacing his confusion. 'You know, this is crazy… even for you.' He turned and reached for the door.
'Don't think for a second that you're going to be leaving me alone in this room in this place.'
Without turning around, he replied, 'I thought you said… ' He felt a pillow hit him in the back of the head.
'You can sleep on the floor, Spaceboy!' she said.
Michael wanted to rush out of the room. He didn't have to take this from her, but that would mean leaving her alone. And there was Liz's vision to consider. For a moment, he weighed his desire to storm out against the additional danger that that might mean for her.
It was close, but Michael decided to stay. His decision made, he slowly closed the door and turned out the light. When he turned around, he just caught the blanket that came sailing at him.
10
Kyle paced in his room. He didn't like the idea of Isabel being in her room all alone. The Special Unit might be on to them. And the house was creepy, over-the-top horror-movie creepy.
And wasn't that the first rule of horror movies: No matter what happened, you never went anywhere alone. Otherwise…
Then again, I'm alone, he thought. But that was different. It felt different, anyway. Maybe he had seen too many horror movies with his dad. Michael and Maria had argued about who died first: the smart aleck or the mean girl. From what he remembered, they both usually went pretty early.
What about the Buddhist ex-jocks? he wondered. And what about beautiful, half-human/half-alien hybrids?
Kyle found he couldn't even smile at that. Isabel was being foolish. If they stayed in pairs, they couldn't be taken one at a time… there would always be one person who could fight or call the others.
Taken by whom? he wondered. He didn't know, but he couldn't shake the feeling that they were foolish to take
any chances. Then, before he was aware that he had even made a decision, he found himself grabbing a pillow and a blanket. By the time he reached the bedroom door, he knew what he was going to do.
