– It’d kill ya.
– Me? Naw. Never.
– It’s cutting through the Vyrus, Phil. It’d kill ya.
– Well, OK, sure, maybe, ya put it that way, maybe. But if anyone could hack it, it’d be me.
– ’Spose it would.
We’re walking down A, leaving Niagara behind us. Phil wants to score and the place is dry.
I could just beat it out of him, give him a good one every time his mind starts to wander, but with the amount of speed he’s pumped into his system the past two weeks it could take a lot of slapping around. Not that I’m opposed to slapping Phil. Not that I’m opposed to beating the hell out of him for that matter. A worm like Philip, he was pretty much born to be slapped. Christ, he was any more of a Renfield he’d be stuffing his face with flies and cockroaches. God only knows how Phil ever found out about the Vyrus, probably by being somewhere he shouldn’t have been, but he’s been existing on the edge of the community for some years now. Really, it’s kind of a miracle none of us have killed him yet. Guy’s right hand’s been keeping secrets from his left for so long he doesn’t even know which is which at this point. But he won’t fuck around with me anymore, not after the last time. He used up his last Fuck-With-Joe-Pitt Coupon about a year ago. I made his face look different when he cashed it in. He tries to play me again and I’ll take it clean off. So we walk down to the Cherry Tavern.
The guy working the door takes one look at Phil and me and shakes his head.
– Uh-uh. We’re full up.
A couple teenage girls come giggling up. He glances at their fake IDs and waves them in.
He’s in his early twenties, his arms and chest pumped too big for his legs. He’s all high on working the door at this East Village meat market, enjoys being the man who decides which guys get in for a crack at all the underage pussy he lets in, and which do not. Me and Phil, we’re a little long in the tooth for this place. Me, I’m very long in the tooth for it, but I don’t look it, wearing my age as well as I do and all. Far as he’s concerned we’re a couple trolls who are gonna fuck up the ambience. I could do some things, I could grab his balls and give ’em a yank, I could bounce his skull off the door, I could just put a hand on his shoulder and squeeze until he gets the point. Instead I pull out a twenty.
He plucks it from my fingers.
– Happy hunting.
The Cherry has turned the corner about four or five times going from shit-hole to hot spot and back again as a new crop of NYU kids comes in each year. Right now it looks to be on the downward curve. It’s doing a brisk trade in binge-drinking hipsters, but they’re not fucking in the bathrooms. I drag Phil to the bar and order three of the specials: shot of house tequila with a Tecate back. We work our way through the hormones to the back of the bar where we find some open space and take a seat at the tabletop Ms. Pac-Man machine.
I put two of the specials in front of Phil.
– Drink up.
– Thanks, Joe. I was gonna buy, my round and all, but thanks.
He takes a sniff at one of the glasses. He pulls a face.
– Jeez, Joe, not the best stuff.
– Yeah, well you know the Cherry, not big on the fifteen-dollar Scotches.
– Yeah. Place is a dump.
He downs one of the shots and follows it with beer. I do the same.
– So talk to me, Phil.
His eyes are dancing over the tightly packed crowd, searching for anyone who might be holding. I snap my fingers in front of his face.
– The new shit. I’ve been under a rock, so tell me about it.
His eyes never leave the kids in their low-slung jeans, Pumas and hoodies, trying to spot the telltale hand clasps of drugs being passed off. But he talks.
– Yeah, the new shit, it’s like all the rage. Not, you know, thick on the ground or anything, but, like, the thing with the cutting edge crowd, the new kids are bringing it in.
– New fish found it?
– Yeah, that’s the vibe I’m getting. Like this isn’t the kind of thing the old farts, no offense, Joe, but not the kind of thing the old farts are into. That a monkey fist?
He’s pointing at a bulge about the size of an eight ball of coke in the tight pocket of a girl’s cords.
– Not my specialty.
– It is, it’s a monkey fist. That chick’s holding. Watch my beer, I got to go talk to that chick.
I grab his wrist before he can get up.
– Not yet.
– C’mon, man, I got to get in on this.
– Sit. Drink. Talk.
He watches her edge into the bathroom followed by a couple of her friends.
– Aw, man, gonna be nothing left.
I push the last shot of tequila in front of him.
– Drink.
He downs the shot.
– Anyway, not the kind of thing for the senior circuit is what I’m hearing. Taboo shit, scandalous and exotic. Frankly, shit piques my interest in the worst way.
– You see anyone do it?
– Naw, naw. All happening behind closed doors like
Right. Bat-fucking. That kind of thing.
– Where you get these stories? There aren’t enough new fish around for a scene like that.
The girl in the cords comes out of the bathroom, monkey fist significantly depleted. Phil rolls his eyes.
– Aw, man, aw shit. I knew it. Fuck.
– Where you getting these stories, Phil?
– I don’t know, around, you know, just, in the air. Shit like that, it’s just in the air.
– In the air and I haven’t heard about it? Terry Bird hasn’t heard about it?
He chugs beer, some of it overflows his mouth and runs down his chin. He wipes it with the back of his hand.
– In the air for people like me, man, people looking to score. You, Joe, you got a one track mind; you’re like this worker bee always trying to, like, you know, get what you need, always working a
He’s looking at me now, talking to me without watching the room. I stare at him. He snatches up his other beer, takes a drink, tilting his head back to break eye contact.
– Anyway, that’s, like, about it, I guess. All I got anyway.
– Uh-huh.
– Yeah, that’s it.
He drinks some more beer.
– That was quite a speech.
A little more.
– Where you get a speech like that, Phil? All them ideas?
He finishes the beer, shrugs.
– I dunno.
He points.
– Hey, hey, that look like-?
