Half the Blood of Brooklyn

He levers himself up on his elbows. Looks at me. Shakes his head. Gets to his feet and toes some of the wreckage from the table.

– OK, Joe. I guess that covers it.

He bends over and picks up the broken halves of his glasses.

– This, man, this is so perfect.

He drops them.

– Shit. Well. We’re gonna put you in the sun in the morning.

He walks to the door.

– I’ll see you, then.

Alone again. Which is actually nice. Because I am so fucking tired.

Naturally, I dream about Daniel.

Or a thing that used to be Daniel.

A black tendril of it worms from a split in the air and it shivers and peels its way from one world into this.

The old man of the subways points and laughs.

– See, buddy, see? Like I said. Looks like nothing, that rip in the air. Nothing a’tall, huh, buddy?

I study the rip. It’s doesn’t look like nothing. It looks like a rapidly healing scar in the throat of a sick girl.

Evie folds her arms on her chest.

– Why’d you lie to me, Joe? Why’d you lie about everything?

She cries a little and wipes the tears and puts a hand on my face.

– You didn’t have to lie like that.

Purple sores rise across my face and over my scalp and my hair falls out and the Wraith shudders from the scar in Evie’s throat and leaves her empty and it goes through me and freezes my blood and its passing whispers to me.

Be seeing you, Joe.

– You saved my life, you asshole. You saved my life and got me away from those animals and. I would have called it a wash. I would have said, Yeah, the asshole shot me, but he also saved my life. I would have said, Let’s just call it even. Where’s your humanity, Joe? Where is your damn humanity? You had to infect that poor woman? She wasn’t sick enough? You had to try and do that?

I open my eyes and look at Lydia sitting in the dark kitchen on one of the chairs from the ruined table.

– You gave her no chance. No choice. Just made it for her. Just. Look how small it makes us. Look how small our lives are. Look what we’re fighting over. The things we do to one another. You chose this for her? This little life, or an awful death. Awful.

I uncurl from the ball I’ve twisted into on the floor and my knee snaps loud twice and I wince and put my hands behind my head.

– Lydia. Do me a favor, go whine somewhere else.

She doesn’t go.

– I already saved your life once, Joe.

– Sure. Why else would I come back for you?

– Right. Was there ever any question. So, debt’s all paid up? All square up? The way you like it?

– Far as I’m concerned.

– Except maybe I owe you a bullet.

I shift, try to find a position where something on me doesn’t hurt.

– You’re gonna have to hurry if you want to get that in.

She stands over me.

– They would have used me. They would have raped me and made me have babies they could bleed.

– Yeah, so what?

– Never occurred to you?

– Just evening accounts.

– And now they’re even.

– Yeah. You’re doing nothing wrong. So stop wringing your hands and let me get some sleep.

I roll back onto my side.

She stands there for a minute, then I hear her walking to the door. Stopping. Turning back.

– I saved you once already. I don’t owe you anything.

I tug my shit-stained jacket closer.

– Lydia.

– Yeah?

– You’re an alright chick. Too bad about the whole dyke thing.

– Fuck off and die, Joe.

– Sure. In the morning, babe. In the morning.

When she’s gone I think about getting up and going to the window over the sink. The nails she pulled out when I was smoking are still on the sill. I think about pushing it open and rattling the security gate accordioned across it.

Then I try to get up. And I can’t. I try again. Terry did a new number on my knee when he threw me. And the ribs. And everything else.

I look at the door.

I drag myself over to it and try the knob. It’s unlocked. I ease it open.

Hurley is on a chair in the hall, reading the funny pages.

– Joe.

– Hurl.

– Ya wanta be gettin’ back in der?

– Not really.

He pulls a.45 from inside his jacket and points it at my hand.

– Bang.

I close the door a little.

– Got a smoke, Hurl?

– I said, Bang.

I close the door.

I look at the nails way up there on the sill. I get a grip on the counter and pull myself up and snatch the nails and fall back to the floor. I wrap my fingers around the nails. When they come for me I might get lucky. I might get to put someone’s eye out before Hurley shoots me in the legs and drags me in the sun.

I think about the usual.

I sit in the dark kitchen and think about killing things.

Evie.

Oh, baby. I’m sorry.

An hour later there’s gunfire and screaming in the hall and then silence and then Hurley backs through the door and drops his.45s on the floor and puts his hands in the air and looks over his shoulder at me.

– Someone ta see ya, I tink.

And Sela walks in with a machine gun.

I look at the machine gun.

– Jesus, where the hell did you get that?

– You coming?

I get to my feet. And I fall back down.

Sela waves the gun.

– I’m gonna pick him up, Hurley. Don’t move.