ready. That driver was only supposed to make it look good. We had no idea you'd hurt him so badly.'
'But why?'
'Because the Ghost knew the truth.'
'What truth?'
She again gestured toward Ken. 'That your brother would never show just to save your life. He would never put himself in that danger. That something like this' she lifted her free hand 'was the only way he'd ever agree to meet you.'
I shook my head again.
'We had a man wait at the yard that night. Just in case. No one ever came.'
I stumbled back. I looked at Melissa. I looked at my father. And I knew that it was all true. Every word that she said. It was true.
Ken had killed Julie.
'I never meant to hurt you,' Katy said to me. 'But my family needs closure. The FBI had set him free. I had no choice. I couldn't let him get away with what he did to my sister.'
My father spoke for the first time. 'So what are you going to do now, Katy? Are you just going to shoot him?'
Katy said, 'Yes.'
And that was when all hell broke loose again.
My father made the sacrifice. He let out a cry and dove toward Katy. She fired the gun. My father staggered and continued toward her. He knocked the weapon from her hands. He also went down, holding his leg.
But the distraction had been enough.
When I looked up, Ken had whipped out his own gun. His eyes the ones I had described as pure ice were focused on Katy. He was going to shoot her. There was no hesitation. He just had to aim and pull the trigger.
I jumped toward him. My hand hit his arm just as he pulled the trigger. The gun went off, but the shot was wild. I tackled my brother. We rolled on the ground again, but it was nothing like before. Not this time. He elbowed me in the stomach. It knocked the wind out of me. He rose. He pointed the gun at Katy.
'No,' I said.
'I have to,' Ken said.
I grabbed him. We wrestled. I told Katy to run. Ken quickly took the advantage. He flipped me over. Our eyes met.
'She's the last thread,' he said.
'I won't let you kill her.'
Ken put the barrel of the gun against my forehead. Our faces were no more than an inch apart. I heard Melissa scream. I told her to stay back. In the corner of my eye, I saw her take out a cell phone and start dialing.
'Go ahead,' I said. 'Pull the trigger.'
'You think I won't?' he said.
'You're my brother.'
'So?' And again I thought about evil, about the shapes it takes, how you are never truly safe from it. 'Didn't you hear anything Katy said? Don't you understand what I'm capable of how many people I've hurt and betrayed?'
'Not me,' I said softly.
He laughed, his face still inches from mine, the gun still pressed against my forehead. 'What did you say?'
'Not me,' I repeated.
Ken threw his head back. His laugh grew, echoing in the stillness. The sound chilled me like no other. 'Not you?' he said. He lowered his lips toward me.
'You,' he whispered in my ear, 'I've hurt and betrayed more than anyone.'
His words hit me like cinder blocks. I looked up at him. His face tensed and I was sure he was going to pull the trigger. I closed my eyes and waited. There were shouts and commotion, but all of that seemed very far away. What I heard now the only sound that really reached me was Ken crying. I opened my eyes. The world faded away. There was just the two of us.
I can't say what happened exactly. Maybe it was the position I was in, on my back, helpless, and he, my brother, not my savior this time, not my protector, but looming over me, the cause of it all. Maybe Ken looked down and saw me vulnerable and something instinctive, something that had always needed to keep me safe, took over. Maybe that was what shook him. I don't know. But as our eyes met, his face began to soften, started shifting in degrees.
And then it all changed again.
I felt Ken's grip on me loosen, but he kept the gun against my forehead. 'I want you to make me a promise, Will,' he said.
'What?'
'It's about Carly.'
'Your daughter.'
Ken closed his eyes now, and I saw genuine anguish. 'She loves Nora,' he said. 'I want you two to take care of her. You raise her. Promise me.'
' But what about?'
'Please,' Ken said, his voice a desperate plea. 'Please promise me.'
'Okay, I promise.'
'And promise me you'll never take her to see me.'
'What?'
He was crying hard now. Tears ran down his cheeks, wetting both our faces. 'Promise me, dammit. You never mention me to her. You raise her as your own. You never let her visit me in prison. Promise me that, Will. Promise me or I'll start firing.'
'Give me the gun first,' I said, 'and I'll promise.'
Ken looked down at me. He pushed the gun into my hand. And then he kissed me hard. I wrapped my arms around him. I held him, the murderer. I hugged him to me. He cried into my chest like a small child. We were like that for a long time, until we heard the sirens.
I tried to push him away. 'Go,' I whispered to him, pleading. 'Please. Just run.'
But Ken did not move. Not this time. I will never know why exactly. Maybe he had run enough. Maybe he was trying to reach through the evil. Maybe he just wanted to be held. I don't know. But Ken stayed in my arms. He held on to me until the police came over and pulled him away.
58
Four days later
Carly's plane was on time.
Squares dropped us off at the airport. He, Nora, and I headed toward Newark Airport 's Terminal C together. Nora walked up ahead. She knew the child and was anxious and excited to see her again. Me, I was anxious and scared.
Squares said, 'Wanda and I talked.'
I looked at him.
'I told her everything.'
'And?'
He stopped and shrugged. 'Looks like we're both going to be fathers sooner than expected.'
I hugged him, happy as hell for them both. I was not so sure about my own situation. I was about to raise a twelve-year-old girl I did not know. I would do my best, but despite what Squares had said, I could never be Carly's father. I had come to terms with a lot about Ken, including the possibility that he would probably spend the
