She looked narrowly at me. “We don’t usually do that,” she said.
“This is an unusual situation,” I confided. “I’ll be frank with you. I really must use one section of that book to prepare my exam for them, and-well, I loaned my own copy to a student and he’s unable to find it now. It was my mistake, but you know how these things go, with students. I should have known better.”
Her face softened and she looked almost sympathetic. “It’s terrible, isn’t it?” she said, nodding. “We lose a stack of books every term, I’m sure. Well, let me see if I can get the name for you, but don’t spread around that I did this, all right?”
She turned away to root in a cabinet behind her, and I stood reflecting on the duplicity I had suddenly discovered in my own nature. When had I learned to lie so fluently? It gave me a feeling of uneasy pleasure. While I was standing there, I realized that another librarian behind the big altar had moved closer and was watching me. He was a thin middle-aged man I’d often seen there, only slightly taller than his colleague and shabbily dressed in a tweed jacket and stained tie. Perhaps because I’d noticed him before, I was unexpectedly struck by a change in his appearance. His face looked sallow and wasted, perhaps even seriously ill. “Can I help you?” he said suddenly, as if he suspected I might steal something from the desk if I weren’t attended to at once.
“Oh, no, thank you.” I waved at the lady librarian’s back. “I’m being helped already.”
“I see.” He stepped aside as she returned with a slip of paper and put it in front of me. At that moment I didn’t know where to look-the paper swam under my eyes. For as the second librarian turned aside, he leaned over to examine some books that had obviously been returned to the desk and were waiting to be dealt with. And as he bent myopically toward them, his neck was exposed for a moment above the threadbare shirt collar, and I saw on it two scabbed, grimy-looking wounds, with a little dried blood making an ugly lacework on the skin just below them. Then he straightened and turned away again, holding his books.
“Is this what you wanted?” the lady librarian was asking me. I looked down at the paper she pushed toward me. “You see, it’s the slip for Bram Stoker,Dracula. We have just one copy.”
The grubby male librarian suddenly dropped a book on the floor, and the sound of it reverberated with a bang through the high nave. He straightened and looked directly at me, and I have never seen-or until that moment had never seen-a human gaze so full of hatred and wariness. “That’s what you wanted, right?” the lady was insisting.
“Oh, no,” I said, thinking fast, catching hold of myself. “You must have misunderstood me. I’m looking for Gibbon’sDecline and Fall of the Roman Empire. I told you, I’m teaching a course on it and we’ve got to have extra copies.”
She frowned heavily. “But I thought -”
I hated to sacrifice her feelings, even in that unpleasant moment, when she’d unbent so far toward me. “That’s all right,” I said. “Maybe I didn’t look carefully enough. I’ll go back and check the catalog again.”
As soon as I said the wordcatalog, however, I knew I’d overused my new fluency. The tall librarian’s eyes narrowed further and he moved his head slightly, like an animal following the motions of its prey. “Thanks very much,” I murmured politely and walked off, feeling those sharp eyes boring into my back all the way down the great aisle. I made a show of going back to the catalog for a minute, then closed my briefcase and went purposefully out the front door, through which the faithful were already flocking for their morning study. Outside, I found a bench in the brightest possible sunlight, my back against one of those neo-Gothic walls, where I could safely see everyone around me coming and going. I needed five minutes to sit and think- reflection, Rossi always taught, should be well-timed rather than time-consuming.
It was all too much to digest quickly, however. In that dazed moment I had taken in not only my glimpse of the librarian’s wounded neck but also the name of the library patron who had beaten me toDracula. Her name was Helen Rossi.
The wind was cold and increasingly strong. My father paused here and drew from his camera bag two waterproof jackets, one for each of us. He kept them rolled up tightly to fit with his photographic equipment, canvas hat, and a little first-aid kit. Without speaking, we put them over our blazers, and he continued.
Sitting there in the late-spring sunshine, watching the university stir and wake to its usual activities, I felt a sudden envy of all those ordinary-looking students and faculty striding here and there. They thought that tomorrow’s exam was a serious challenge, or that department politics constituted high drama, I reflected bitterly. Not one of them could have understood my predicament, or helped me out of it. I felt the loneliness, suddenly, of standing outside my institution, my universe, a worker bee expelled from the hive. And this state of things, I realized with surprise, had come about in forty-eight hours.
I had to think clearly now, and fast. First, I had observed what Rossi himself had reported: someone outside the immediate threat to Rossi-in this case the someone was a half- washed, eccentric-looking librarian-had been bitten in the neck. Let us presume, I told myself, almost laughing at the preposterousness of the things I was starting to believe, let us presume that our librarian was bitten by a vampire, and quite recently. Rossi had been swept out of his office-with bloodshed, I reminded myself-only two nights earlier. Dracula, if he were at large, seemed to have a predilection not only for the best of the academic world (here I remembered poor Hedges) but also for librarians, archivists. No-I sat up straight, suddenly seeing the pattern-he had a predilection for those who handled archives that had something to do with his legend. First there had been the bureaucrat who had snatched the map from Rossi in Istanbul. The Smithsonian researcher, too, I thought, recalling Rossi’s last letter. And, of course, threatened all along, there was Rossi himself, who had a copy of “one of these nice books” and had examined other possibly relevant documents. And then this librarian, although I had no proof yet that the fellow had handled any Dracula documents. And finally-me?
I picked up my briefcase and hurried to a public phone booth near the student commons. “University information, please.” No one had followed me here, as far as I could see, but I closed the door and through it kept a sharp eye on the passersby. “Do you have a listing for a Miss Helen Rossi? Yes, graduate student,” I hazarded.
The university operator was laconic; I could hear her shuffling slowly through papers. “We have an H. Rossi listed in the women’s graduate dormitory,” she said.
“That’s it. Thank you so much.” I scribbled the number down and dialed again. A matron answered, her voice sharp and protective. “Miss Rossi? Yes? Who’s calling, please?”
Oh, God. I hadn’t thought ahead to this. “Her brother,” I said quickly. “She told me she’d be at this number.”
I could hear footsteps leaving the phone, a sharper stride returning, the rustle of a hand taking the receiver. “Thank you, Miss Lewis,” said a distant voice, as if in dismissal. Then she spoke into my ear and I heard the low, strong tone I remembered from the library. “I do not have a brother,” she said. It sounded like a warning, not a mere statement of fact. “Who is this?”
My father rubbed his hands together in the chill wind, making the sleeves of his jacket crinkle like tissue paper. Helen, I thought, although I did not dare repeat the name aloud. It was a name I had always liked; it evoked for me something valiant and beautiful, like the Pre-Raphaelite frontispiece showing Helen of Troy in myChildren’s Book of the Iliad, which I had owned at home in the United States. Above all, it had been my mother’s name, and she was a topic my father never discussed.
I looked hard at him, but he was already speaking again. “Hot tea in one of those cafes down there,” he said. “That’s what I need. How about you?” I noticed for the first time that his face-the handsome, tactful face of a diplomat-was marred by heavy shadows, which ringed his eyes and gave his nose a pinched look at the base, as if he never slept enough. He rose and stretched, and then we looked out at each of the giddily framed views a last time. My father held me back a little as if he feared I would fall.
Chapter 17
