“Business,” John said, sliding the cell phone into his jeans pocket. “Adam brought flowers.”
John had deliberately changed the subject, and Rowan was certain he was checking up on her. The thought angered her, but her impulse to push him was interrupted when Adam started talking, excited.
“John found a vase, I hope that’s okay, but I didn’t want them to die. I broke one, so you can throw it out, but they’re still pretty.”
“I’m sure they’re lovely, Adam, but you didn’t need to bring me anything.”
Adam nodded his head vigorously. “Oh, yes. Barry always gets Sylvie flowers when she gets mad at him. And even though you said you weren’t mad at me about tricking Marcy, I knew you were a little bit mad, and I wanted to tell you I was sorry, but not just say it, you know?”
Rowan smiled. “I know. That was very thoughtful.” She looked around the kitchen. “Where are they?”
“John put them in the dining room.” Adam jumped off the stool and grabbed Rowan’s hand, pulling her into the next room. “I was going to get roses, but the man said the calla lilies were better for friends. We’re friends. Aren’t they pretty?”
Rowan smiled until she saw the flowers.
Lilies.
Her eyesight faded from the periphery, until all she saw were the white lilies. A dead voice, as clear as if her mother were standing right next to her, said, “Aren’t they pretty? Just like you, Lily.”
Lily looked up at her mother and smiled. “They’re prettier, Mama.”
Mama laughed and shook her head. “You’ll be such a charmer with the men when you grow up, sweetheart.” She ran her soft, slender fingers through Lily’s hair, and Lily leaned into the caress with a smile. “You know I named you Lily because your daddy gave me lilies on our first date.”
“I know, Mama.” But she loved the story. She couldn’t picture her father giving her mama flowers. He was so serious all the time. And sometimes he yelled at Mama. She didn’t see him much. She was in bed before he came home from work most nights, and the only time she ever really talked to him was on Sundays. And sharing his attention with her two brothers and two sisters was hard. She preferred to read or play out in the backyard.
Three sisters, she reminded herself as she looked over at the bassinet. Danielle was beautiful.
“Why didn’t you name the baby Rose so you can get roses all the time? Roses are prettier than lilies.” Lily wrinkled her nose. She really didn’t like bouquets of flowers all that much. They were nice when they were freshly cut and arranged in a vase, but they died and Mama threw them in the garbage, almost as if she didn’t care. Lily didn’t know why someone would want flowers around the house all the time when they died so fast.
Outside in the garden, flowers lived forever. They slept in the winter, but they came back every spring. Those flowers Lily liked.
Mama laughed and kissed Lily’s head. “You are a funny girl.”
Danielle started squeaking. It wasn’t really a cry, just a little squawk. “I think she’s hungry, Lily. Will you get her for me?”
“Me?” Lily wanted so much to hold the new baby, but her father told her not to touch, that babies weren’t dolls.
“Of course you.”
Lily walked over to the bassinet and looked at her baby sister. She’d loved her the minute Daddy brought Mama and the baby home last week. But knowing that she could hold her, bring her to Mama to be fed, brought that love to a new level. She could help be the mama. She couldn’t feed her because she didn’t have breasts yet, but she could change her diaper and her clothes and bring her to Mama.
She smiled brightly.
“Hi, baby,” she said in her best mother voice. “I’m your big sister Lily. We’re going to be best friends.”
Carefully, tenderly, she picked up the newborn, supporting her head just like Mama had taught her. She walked three steps to the couch.
Mama put the baby to her breast. She suckled, and Mama got a dreamy expression on her face. “Lily, there is nothing in the world better than feeding your baby. One day, you’ll grow up and be a mama.”
“I want lots of kids.”
Mama smiled. “You can have as many as you want. You can do anything with your life, sweetheart. You can be a doctor or a lawyer or a teacher or a mother. All are important.”
“But mamas are the most important because babies need them,” Lily said, feeling very smart.
“Yes, babies need their mamas.”
A loud thump upstairs made Lily jump, and she stepped closer to her mother.
“Stupid brat! Get out of my way.”
It was Bobby. He sounded mad. Even madder than Daddy got when Mama didn’t do something right.
“Honey,” Mama said, worried. “Go take care of Peter. Hurry.”
Lily ran from the room, her fear for Peter greater than her fear of Bobby. She stopped at the bottom of the stairs and looked up.
“No!” she screamed.
Bobby pushed Peter and his little toddler legs buckled. He grabbed at the railing as Bobby stomped down the stairs.
Lily ran up the stairs, and Bobby laughed at her. “Hope you break your neck, Lily Pad.”
Lily ignored him and watched as Peter stumbled and fell three stairs, then grabbed a rail. He cried out, but she caught him. “Are you okay, baby?” she asked as she helped Peter back up the stairs. A door slammed. Bobby was gone. She hoped he never came back. He scared her so much.
She hated him.
CHAPTER 11
Rowan hit the vase with her arm. It flew off the table and onto the floor, water spraying everywhere. The vase cracked and the lilies scattered.
John frowned, uncertain of what had just happened, and watched Rowan turn to Adam, her eyes wide and terrified. “Who told you?
“I-I-I-” Adam stammered, tears streaming down his face.
John reached Rowan before Michael and grabbed her face, forcing her to look at him. “Rowan, stop. Now.”
She blinked at John, her eyes wide with uncertainty. Then she glanced at Adam’s petrified face.
“Adam. I’m sorry.” She took a step back, shaking.
“What was that about?” John asked, his hands dropping to her shoulders. He gave her a light shake, worried. He saw the indecision on her face about whether or not to trust him. “You can trust me,” he whispered.
Her eyes brimmed with tears as her hand fluttered to her mouth. She dry heaved and fled from the room.
Damn. So close! He started after her, but Michael put his arm up. “John, give her a minute.”
“Shit, Michael, there’s something she’s not telling us that’s directly related to what’s going on. We can’t allow her to keep us in the dark.”
“Playing big bad bully isn’t going to get her to open up,” Michael said, his jaw twitching with anger.
John ran a hand through his hair. She’d relived some memory when she saw the flowers. She’d stared at them for over a minute before breaking the vase. What about them had set her off?
John shot a glance at Adam. He’d shrunk down against the wall, silent tears running down his face, arms tight around his legs. Rowan was going to feel awful when she realized what she’d done.
He squatted in front of him. “Adam?” No response. “Adam, it’s okay.”
“I’ll call the studio and have someone pick him up,” Michael said.
“No.” John’s voice was harsher than intended. “I promised Rowan I’d take him home.” He reached out and touched Adam’s arm. “Adam, I need you to do me a favor.”
Adam sobbed. “Sh-she hates me.”
“No, Adam, Rowan does
