good friend until she caught us.'
'Is that why she pointed the gun at you?'
'I guess part of it was that,' he said. 'Then, you know, maybe she just wanted it to stop. She said that a lot, that she just wanted it to stop.'
'Was she jealous?'
He nodded slowly. 'It hurt her to see it.'
'She saw you together?'
He nodded again, the same slow movement. 'We were in my bed, and she and Lacey came home from school.'
Lena felt her heart stop midbeat. She opened her mouth to ask for a clarification, then closed it. She did not want to know. If she could have moved her body, she would have run from the room, covering her ears so that she could not hear any more. She couldn't move, though, and she sat motionless on the couch, watching Mark the way she would watch a car wreck.
'We were together, you know? I guess this was around Christmastime, right before they went on that stupid retreat.' He threw his hand into the air. 'Mama let me stay home from school. We had the whole day together.' He smiled. 'She lit some candles, and we took a long bath, and then we made love.'
Lena was aware that she had stopped breathing.
'I guess we lost track of time,' Mark said, giving a pitiful laugh. 'Lacey and Jenny walked right into my room, and that was it.'
Lena put her hand to her mouth to keep herself from speaking.
'Jenny loved my mom. I mean, it was complicated. Maybe it's better that Jenny's not around to watch Mama die. I think that would've killed her.'
'Right,' Lena managed.
'I know what you think, but she loved me, man. It felt so good to know that she loved me. It was like Lacey was always the favorite, but then she came to me, and I was the one. I was the one she loved most.' Mark started to cry again. Before Lena knew what was happening, he had buried his face in her neck.
Lena forced the word, 'Mark,' out of her mouth, trying to push him away from her.
'Don't,' he whispered, and his wet lips against her flesh made her want to vomit.
'Mark, no,' she said. When he didn't move, Lena pushed him away as hard as she could. 'Get away from me!' she yelled.
From the way he was looking at her, she imagined that every ounce of disgust she was feeling was written all over her face.
'Mark-'
'Bitch,' he said, standing. 'You fucking bitch!'
'Mark-'
The door popped open, and Brad stood there, his hand on the butt of his gun. Lena motioned him back as Mark stepped toward her.
Mark said, 'I thought you would understand.'
'I do,' she told him, feeling panicked. 'I do understand, Mark.'
'Fucking bitch,' he hissed. 'You don't understand shit.'
'Mark-'
He closed the distance between them in two steps, grabbing her hand and holding it up between them. 'I thought you understood,' he said, and she knew he meant her scars. 'I thought you knew because you'd been there, man. You know what it's like. I know you do. You just won't fucking admit it because you're a coward.'
Lena opened her mouth, but could not speak.
'Hey,' Brad said, taking Mark's arm.
'Get away from me, faggot,' Mark screamed, yanking his arm out of Brad's grasp. He pointed an accusatory finger at Lena, saying through clenched teeth, 'You tricked me. You're all alike, goddamn it. She was right. You're all so weak. You never do the right thing.'
Lena cleared her throat, trying, 'Mark-'
Mark walked toward the hallway, his footsteps so heavy that the trailer shook.
'What the heck was that about?' Brad asked, his hand still resting on his gun.
Lena shook her head, unable to speak for just a moment.
'Are you okay?' Brad asked, going to the couch. He put his hand on her arm and she did not pull away.
'I can't believe…' Lena began, not knowing exactly what to say.
Brad sat beside her, taking her hand. ' Lena?' he asked, patting her hand. 'Talk to me.'
She shook her head, taking back her hand. 'He's just a kid,' she said.
'A nasty kid,' Brad told her. 'Sometimes I wonder how they can get that way. When I was his age, I barely even knew what sex was. I thought a good time on a date was getting a kiss at the end.'
Lena nodded, zoning out as he talked about his idyllic teen years.
'I just wonder,' Brad said. 'What makes them like that? What's changed?'
'Their parents,' Lena said, but she knew that wasn't right. She pushed her hair back behind her ear, trying to suppress the shock she was still feeling. She looked at her watch, wondering if she should go get Mark. He had been gone a while.
'What did he mean?' Brad asked. 'Wasn't that the same stuff Jenny was saying before?'
Lena finally managed to focus on the conversation. 'Before when?' she asked.
'In the parking lot,' Brad said. 'You know, when she said adults never do the right thing.'
'Oh, Jesus,' Lena breathed, feeling all the air going out of her lungs. She jumped up from the couch and started off down the hall, Brad close behind her.
'Mark?' she yelled, knocking on the only closed door. She tried the handle, but it was locked.
'Dammit,' Lena hissed, jamming her shoulder against the door. It would not budge. She motioned to Brad. 'Kick it in.'
He braced himself against the other side of the hall and punched his foot into the door. Unfortunately, the door was hollow at the center, and Brad's foot stuck in the splintered wood. He used Lena for leverage, pulling his foot out of the hole. She leaned down, looking into the room, trying to find Mark through the narrow opening.
'Oh, God,' Lena gasped, stepping back to kick at the hole Brad had made. He joined in, and between them they managed to enlarge the opening enough for Lena to slip through. The splintered wood tore at her arms and face, but she barely noticed the pain as she tried to get into the room.
'Mark,' she said, her voice high with panic. 'Hold on, Mark. Hold on.'
Brad pushed her from behind, and she fell into the room. Mark had hanged himself from a rod mounted high in the closet. The ceiling of the trailer was not high, and his feet dragged
