himself. Did you bring Dottie here, too? Did you make her abduct Lacey? Did you make Dottie work with Grace Patterson at that hospital? Did you make her do those things she did to children?'
'I'm not saying that.'
'But, you are,' she insisted. 'If you want to blame somebody, blame me.'
He shook his head, saying, 'No.'
'I saw all of them,' Sara pointed out. 'I saw Mark and Lacey practically from the time they were born. Jenny was a patient of mine. Is it my fault?'
'Of course it's not.'
'Then how is it yours?'
Jeffery leaned his head on his hand, not wanting Sara to see how upset he was. 'You didn't pull the trigger,' he said. 'You didn't kill her.'
Sara got out of her chair and knelt in front of him. She took his hands in hers and said, 'You know how I told you I worry about you when I don't know where you are and the phone rings?'
He nodded.
'I worry because I know you,' she said, squeezing his hands for emphasis. 'I know what kind of cop you are, and what kind of man you are.'
'What kind of man am I?' he asked,
Her voice took on a softer tone. 'The kind of man who wouldn't hesitate to be the one to kick in that door instead of Lena. The kind of man who risks his life every day to make sure that other people are safe. I love that about you,' she insisted. 'I love that you're strong, and that you think things through, and that you don't just react.' Sara put her hand to his cheek. 'I love that you're gentle, and that you worry about Lena, and that you feel responsible for everything that happens in town.'
He started to speak, but she pressed her finger to his lips so that he would not interrupt her. 'I love you because you know how to comfort me and how to drive me crazy, and how to make my dad want to beat you to a pulp.' She low-ered her voice. 'I love how you touch me, and how safe I feel when I'm with you.' She kissed his hands. 'You're a good man, Jeffrey,' she told him. 'Listen to Paul Jennings. Listen to me. You did the right thing.' She held his hands to her lips and kissed his fingers.
She said, 'It's okay to question yourself, Jeffrey. You did that, and now you have to move on.'
He looked out at the rocks jutting from the lake, and wondered if there would ever be a day in his life when he did not think of Jenny Weaver, and the role he had played in her death.
Sara told him, 'You're a good man, Jeffrey.'
He did not believe her. Maybe if he still didn't feel pain in his knee from jumping Dave Fine, or remember how good it felt to kick Arthur Prynne in the gut, it would be easier. Maybe if he didn't still see that set of frightened eyes from the back of the closet in Macon.
'Jeffrey,' Sara repeated. 'You're a good man.'
'I know,' he lied.
'Know it in here,' she told him, pressing her fingers to his chest.
Jeffrey brushed Sara's hair back behind her ear, and all he could think to say was, 'You're so beautiful.'
Sara rolled her eyes at the compliment. 'Is that all you've got to say?'
He offered, 'Why don't we go inside, and I'll answer you in greater detail?'
Sara leaned back on her hands, a smile playing at her lips. 'Why do we have to go inside?'
Friday
Chapter Twenty-One
Lena gritted her teeth, pounding her feet into the pavement. She could hear Hank's heavy footsteps behind her, his cheap Wal-Mart sneakers popping against the ground like a stick on an oil drum.
'That all you got?' he asked, pulling ahead of her. She let him take the lead for a while, watching him from behind. The sun did not agree with him, and rather than tanning, his pasty skin had taken on a reddish tone. The track mark s on his forearms stood in a burgundy relief against this, and the back of his neck was as red as fire.
His breathing was more like a wheeze, but he held his own against her as she sped up to run beside him. His yellowish-gray hair was pasted to his head with sweat, and the turkey giblet hanging down from his neck bounced with each step he took. Still, Lena couldn't help but think he wasn't in bad shape for an old man. She had certainly seen worse.
'This way,' he said.
Lena followed him as he took a sharp turn off the road, and jogged along a path through the woods. The soft ground underfoot brought some relief to her aching knees, and her thighs started to feel like they might not ignite from the heat in her muscles as her second wind kicked in. Before, this was what she had lived for: the intense pain, then overcoming it. Pushing herself past the physical through sheer force of will, making herself finish the course. Her body felt strong and powerful, invincible, like she could do anything she wanted. Like she was the old Lena again.
She knew in the back of her mind where he was going, but she was still surprised when they reached the cemetery. They jogged through the rows of stones, both of them keeping their eyes straight ahead, not stopping until they got to Sibyl's marker.
Lena put her hand on top of the gravestone, using it to steady herself as she stretched her legs. The black marble stone was cool to the touch, and it felt good against her hand. Touching it was like touching part of Sibyl.
Hank stood beside her, lifting his T-shirt to wipe the sweat out of his eyes.
'Jesus, Hank,' Lena said, shielding her eyes from the glare off his white belly. There were track marks there, too, but she did not comment on them.
'It's a warm day,' Hank said. 'I think the heat's about to break, though. Don't you?'
Lena took a minute to realize that he was talking to her and not Sibyl. 'Yeah,' she mumbled.
Hank continued to talk about the weather, and Lena stood there, trying not to show how awkward she felt.
She looked at Sibyl's gravestone. Hank had taken care of the arrangements, and chosen the words on the stone. Above the dates, chiseled into the stone, were the words SIBYL MARIE ADAMS, NIECE, SISTER, FRIEND. Lena was surprised he had not put 'lover' for Nan 's benefit. That would have been just like him.
'Look at this,' Hank mumbled, bending down in front of the stone. Someone had placed a small vase with a single white rose at the base, and it was starting to wilt in the morning
