opposite the centre ring. This aloofness, I knew, was bred into Sally's and Susan's bones from childhood, and with Jim, it just flowed naturally in his blue blood. I suppose I can be aloof, too. But everyone in my family worked, and you can only be so aloof when you have to earn a living. Listening to Susan, I wanted to remind her that she and I were not ticket holders at this particular event; we were part of the entertainment, we were inside the cage with the gorilla, and the thrills and chills were going to be more than vicarious.
At my suggestion, the subject turned to the boating season. The Roosevelts stayed until eight, then left.
I remarked to Susan, 'I don't see anything amusing or interesting about Bellarosa.'
'You have to keep an open mind,' she said, and poured herself another port.
'He is a criminal,' I said tersely.
She replied just as tersely, 'If you have proof of that, Counsellor, you'd better call the DA.'
Which reminded me of the underlying problem: If society couldn't get rid of Frank Bellarosa, how was I supposed to do it? This breakdown of the law was sapping everyone's morale – even Susan was commenting on it now, and Lester Remsen was convinced the rules were out the window. I wasn't so sure yet. I said to Susan, 'You know what I'm talking about. Bellarosa is a reputed Mafia don.' She finished her port, let out a deep breath, and said, 'Look, John, it's been a long day, and I'm tired.'
Indeed it had been a long day, and I, too, felt physically and emotionally drained. I remarked, unwisely, 'Hay fights take a lot out of a person.' 'Cut it out.' She stood and moved toward the house.
'Did we beat the Roosevelts or not?' I asked. 'Do I get my sexual favour?'
She hesitated. 'Sure. Would you like me to go fuck myself?'
Actually, yes.
She opened the French door that led into the study. 'I'm certain you recall that we are due at the DePauws at nine for late supper. What one might call an Easter thing. Please be ready on time.' Susan went into the house. I poured myself another port. No, I did not recall. What was more, I didn't give a damn. It occurred to me that if certain people found Frank Bellarosa not bad looking, 'deliciously sinister', 'interestingly primitive', 'intriguing', and worth an hour's conversation, then maybe those same people found me nice and dull and predictable.
That, coupled with the hay fight earlier in the afternoon, got me wondering if Susan was getting a bit restless herself.
I stood, took the bottle of port, and walked out of the garden and into the dark. I kept walking until I found myself some time later at the hedge maze. A bit under the influence by now, I stumbled into the maze, whose paths were choked with untrimmed branches. I wandered around until I was sure I was completely lost, then sprawled out on the ground, finished the port, and fell asleep under the stars. Screw the DePauws.
CHAPTER 10
I could hear birds singing close by, and I opened my eyes but could see nothing. I sat up quickly in disoriented panic. I saw now that I was engulfed in a mist, and I thought for a moment that I had died and gone to heaven. But then I burped up some port and I knew I was alive, though not well. By stages I recalled where I was and how I'd gotten there. I didn't like any of the recollections, so I pushed them out of my mind.
Overhead, the first streaks of dawn lit up a purple and crimson sky. My head felt awful, I was cold, and my muscles were stiff as cardboard. I rubbed my eyes and yawned. It was Easter Sunday, and John Sutter had indeed risen. I stood slowly and noticed the bottle of port on the ground and recalled using it as a pillow. I picked it up and took the final swallow from it to freshen my mouth. 'Ugh…' I brushed off my warm-up suit and zipped the jacket against the chill. Middle-aged men, even those in good shape, should not wallow around on the cold ground all night with a snoot full of booze. It's not healthy or dignified. 'Oh… my neck…' I coughed, stretched, sneezed, and performed other morning functions. Everything seemed to be working except my mind, which couldn't grasp the enormity of what I'd done.
I took a few tentative steps, felt all right, and began pushing aside the branches of the hedge maze. I tried following the trail of footprints and broken twigs of the night before, but tracking is not one of my outdoor skills, and I was soon lost. Actually, I started out lost. Now I was missing in action. The sky was getting lighter, and I could make out east from west. The exit from the maze was on the eastern edge of the hedges, and moved generally that way whenever I could, but I found myself crossing my path again and again. Whoever laid out this labyrinth was some kind of sadistic genius. A full half hour after I'd begun, I broke out onto the lawn and saw the sun rising above the distant gazebo.
I sat on a stone bench at the entrance to the maze and forced myself to think. Not only had I walked out on Susan and missed a social engagement, but I had also missed sunrise services at St Mark's, and Susan and the Allards were probably frantic with worry by now. Well, maybe Susan and Ethel were not frantic, but George would be worried and the women, concerned. I wondered if Susan had bravely gone to the DePauws with regrets from her husband, or had she called the police and stayed by the phone all night? I guess what I was wondering was if anyone cared if I was dead or alive. As I was brooding over this, I heard the sound of hoofs on the damp earth. I looked up to see a horse and rider approaching out of the sun. I stood and squinted into the sunlight.
Susan reined up on Zanzibar about twenty feet from where I stood. Neither Susan nor I spoke, but the stupid horse snorted, and the snort sounded contemptuous, which set me off, illogical as that may seem. I thought I would be filled with guilt and remorse when I saw Susan, but strangely enough, I still didn't care. I asked, 'Were you looking for me, or just out riding?'
It must have been my tone of voice that kept her from a smart-aleck reply. She said, 'I was looking for you.'
'Well, now that you've found me, you can leave. I want to be alone.' 'All right.' She began reining Zanzibar around and asked over her shoulder, 'Will you come to eleven-o'clock service with us?'
'If I do, I'll drive my own car to church.'
'All right. I'll see you later.' She rode off, and Zanzibar broke wind. If I'd had my shotgun, I would have filled his ass with buckshot. Well, I thought, that was easy. I felt good. I began walking, loosening my muscles, then I jogged for a while, sucking in the cool morning air. What a beautiful dawn it was, and what a beautiful thing it was to be up with the sun and running through the ground mist, getting high on beta blockers and endorphins or something. I spent an hour cavorting, I guess you'd call it, gambolling about the acreage, with no goal or reason except that it felt good. I climbed a big linden tree at the rear edge of the property that overlooks The Creek Country Club. What a magnificent view. I stayed in the tree awhile, reliving this exquisite pleasure of childhood. With great reluctance I got down from the tree, then began jogging again.
At about what I guessed was nine A.M., I was physically exhausted but as mentally alert as I'd been in a long time. I didn't even have a hangover. I pushed myself toward the line of white pine that separated the Stanhope property from Alhambra, sweat pouring from my body and carrying the toxins out with it. I ran through Alhambra's overgrown horse pasture, my heart pounding and my legs wanting to buckle and drop me to the earth. But I went on through the cherry grove and reached the classical garden where Susan and I had enacted our sexual drama.
I collapsed on a marble bench and looked around. The imposing statue of Neptune still stood at the end of the mosaic reflecting pool, but there was now a bronze trident in his clenched fist. 'Look at that…' I saw, too, that the four fish sculptures were spouting water from their mouths and the water was collecting in a giant marble seashell, then spilling over into the newly cleaned reflecting pool. 'I'll be damned…' I stood and staggered over to the fountain, which had not worked in over twenty years. I dropped to my knees and washed my face in the seashell, then lapped up the cold water. 'Ah… nice going, Frank.'
I gargled a mouthful of water and spit it up in a plume, in imitation of the stone fish. 'Gurgle, gurgle, gurgle.'
I heard a noise and turned. Not thirty feet away, on the path that led from the house, stood a woman in a flowery dress and pink hat, with a white shawl over her shoulders. She saw me and stopped dead in her tracks. I could imagine the picture I presented, slobbering around the fountain with a filthy warm-up suit and tangled hair. I spat out a mouthful of water and said, 'Hello.' She turned and began walking quickly away, then looked back to see what I was up to. She was a woman in her mid-forties, full-figured, with blond hair that, even at this distance, looked bleached. Her makeup was not subtle, and I thought the purple eye shadow and hot-pink lip gloss might
