Third Degree

“I know what you meant, brother. So I doubled your income, and you took the money. And here we are. That’s the way it works.”

Laurel stared at Warren in amazement. She couldn’t imagine the words Kyle had quoted ever coming from her husband’s mouth. But apparently they had, because Warren wasn’t arguing the point.

“We’ll have to agree to disagree about that,” Warren said. “But you going behind my back to screw my wife was definitely not what I asked for.”

Auster was clearly stunned, but he was a quick study when it came to matters sexual, and Laurel could see him working out the particulars of the current situation. Her strange telephone come-on, the gun, all of it.

“You really hate me, don’t you?” Warren said.

“Hate you? Warren, I love you, brother. You’re my hero, which is weird since I’m ten years older than you. But you’ve got to be the most dedicated doctor in this town. Like a young Doc Adams on Gunsmoke or something. You think I hate you?”

Warren was studying the maple floor. Kyle took this moment to risk full eye contact with Laurel, and the words she read in his face were What the hell is wrong with him?

“It doesn’t matter,” Warren said to the floor. “Just tell me what you’re doing here.”

“What do you think?” Auster’s eyes kept darting to the gun. “You didn’t show up for work, and that was a first. We were overrun with patients, but I thought I’d take the first chance to come see how you’re doing. I’m sure Laurel’s been taking good care of you. I figured she’d be at school, though.”

Warren looked up. “You figured she was at school when she called and asked you here for a quick fuck?”

“I figured she’d gone back, I mean.”

“It’s after three, Kyle.”

Auster couldn’t hide the blood rushing to his cheeks. “Look, bro, I don’t know what’s going on over here, and I don’t want to know. You guys are having some marital discord? That’s cool. I’ve been there. Everybody has. But I’ve got nothing to do with you guys’ problems, I’m happy to say.”

Warren moved closer to him, aiming the gun from his waist. “I’m not so sure of that, buddy. Not sure at all.”

“Why not?”

“What’s happening at the office, Kyle? Nell said there are Medicaid agents coming down.”

Auster’s face twisted with exasperation. “You know the government. Always interfering. They want six sets of paperwork on every patient, and they go batshit when you don’t give it to them.”

“Stop lying, Kyle. I know why they’re coming. But I have a feeling things are even worse than you’ve told me. What have you been doing besides up-coding?”

“Nothing, man. Nothing illegal, anyway. They just…they don’t agree with me about the necessity of certain tests on certain patients. Maybe some procedures, too, but you know how that is. They’re pencil pushers. They don’t have any sympathy for defensive medicine, because nobody’s gonna sue their ass if a patient croaks unexpectedly.”

Laurel wasn’t sure why they were talking about work when Warren’s primary obsession had been whom she might be sleeping with, but it was clear that they were in serious trouble.

“Tell me about your girlfriend,” Warren said.

Auster looked perplexed. “My girlfriend?”

“Aren’t you planning to run away with somebody? Isn’t that what you were going to use the bearer bonds for?”

At the mention of bonds, Kyle’s mouth hung slack. Then he gulped and started talking fast. “So you found that stuff? Thank God it’s safe. Are the ledgers in there, too?”

Warren nodded slowly.

“Good, good. Because that stuff’s dangerous, man.”

“Back to your girlfriend.”

Auster seemed to have trouble following the change of subject. “You mean Vida?”

“No. Your other girlfriend.”

Auster’s eyes flicked back and forth between Warren and the gun. “You mean Shannon?”

“Shannon?”

“Yeah, the drug rep for Hoche. The one with the tits and the eyes?”

Now Warren looked confused. “You’ve been seeing Shannon Jensen?”

“Uh-huh.”

“How old is she?”

“Twenty-three. Jesus, what’s the big deal? She’s legal. Everybody asks that.”

“That’s not who I’m asking about, Kyle.”

“Who, then? Come on, man, we don’t have all day here.”

Warren tilted his head toward Laurel. Auster held out his hands like a rustler about to be hanged by angry ranchers. “Brother, I don’t know where you got this idea, but you are wrong. Way wrong.”

“What exactly have I got wrong?”

“This whole idea is ridiculous! Laurel wouldn’t touch me with a ten-foot pole.” Kyle looked at her with complete confidence. “Would you?”

“No, I wouldn’t. I think I’ve always made that clear.”

Auster turned to Warren and held up his palms in apology. “I won’t say I never squeezed her ass at the hospital Christmas party, okay? But that’s just vodka talking. I do that because she’s hot and because I know it gets to her and because nothing’s going to come of it. Man, you don’t really think I’d try to snake your wife? That’s nothing but trouble for me. I’m gonna lose a productive partner over some tail? No way. Not in my DNA.”

Warren’s eyes flickered with a glow Laurel couldn’t read. “That kind of challenge is the cornerstone of your DNA, Kyle. But Laurel is more than the usual compulsive conquest. You’ve always been jealous of me. The way patients talk about me, the fact that so many of them request me specifically. Even the scores I made on my boards. You know you’ll never beat me at those things, so what do you do? You go after Laurel. Maybe she’s my weakness, right? If you can screw my wife and make her come, all will be right with the world. That’s how your mind works.”

Auster’s face fairly shone with disbelief. “Jesus, pal, you need to get a life. Or a psychiatrist. I don’t even try to compete with guys like you, except in income. That’s where I show my stuff. Medic for hire, that’s me. I leave the Doctors Without Borders shtick to you guys.”

“What are those bonds doing in my house?” Warren asked doggedly.

Something changed in Kyle then. The boyish facade fell away, and a weary man appeared from behind it. “We needed a storage room. That’s all. A safe one.”

“We?”

“Vida and me. It was her idea. Who was going to search your house, you know?”

“The Medicaid Fraud Unit, I imagine,” Warren said. “That’s why I’m here. Today is the day of reckoning, partner. I came here to remove the threat, to get you and your family out of harm’s way. So why don’t you let me do what I came to do? Then you two can continue your little tete-a-tete.”

Laurel surprised herself by speaking. “What exactly is going on here? What have you two been doing at work?”

“Ask him,” said Warren. “But you don’t have to, do you? You already know. You’re playacting just like he is.”

“Damn it,” Laurel said, “would you get over it already? I don’t know anything, and I’m sick of being in the dark. What kind of trouble have you geniuses gotten us into?”

Warren turned back to Auster. “She has a secret Hotmail account, and she refuses to give me the password. I have a special program working to crack it. If your name doesn’t pop up as her secret pen pal, then you can go.”

Rather than calming Auster down, these words sent him into apoplexy. “Are you shitting me? That could take all night! The cops could be here in five minutes! With handcuffs!”