Turning Angel

”Fire away.“

”I see a town that doesn’t want to be saved. Black and white both, but mostly black.“

”Really?“

”Absolutely. When I came here five years ago, I lectured you on white racism.“

I laugh softly. ”You sure did.“

”But now that I’ve seen the reality up close, I understand white frustration. Black people here are just different. Not all of them, but so many. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because this was one of the biggest slaveholding cotton counties along the river. I don’t know. I used to think it was ignorance, but I’m starting to see it as willful ignorance, and maybe worse. Their belligerence in public places, their rudeness… there’s almost a pride in ignorance here. Black employees refuse to wait on white customers in stores. They treat incompetence as though it’s some kind of act of civil disobedience. I’m sick of it, Penn. And the black politicians…my God. I’ve watched black aldermen do patently illegal things and then brag about it. They don’t care whether something is legal or not.“

”White politicians abused the system for years, Caitlin. They just did it in a more subtle way.“

”I know that. But is that an excuse for blacks to repeat the abuses of the old system? The system Martin Luther King and Malcolm X died to dismantle?“

”No, but-“

”We talked about the schools before. You want to know the hard truth? The public high school here is ninety- eight percent black. Its budget is five times higher than St. Stephen’s- per student-yet it turns out the second-lowest ACT scores in the nation. Most St. Stephen’s graduates score well above the national average, and nearly all of them go on to four-year colleges. The same is true of Immaculate Heart.“

”There are black students in both those schools.“

”Very few, and they’re the exceptions that prove the rule. We talked about the single-mother statistics. You want to guess what color the huge percentage of those mothers are?“

”Caitlin, listen-“

”I know, I know, you’re going to give me your great analogy between African-Americans and the American Indian. Well, I don’t want to hear it. Too much water’s gone under the bridge. I’m tired of hearing about slavery and Reconstruction. Brown v. Board of Education was almost fifty years ago, Penn. What’s wrong with this picture? How obvious does it have to get before people admit the truth?“

”Which is?“

”The system is broken! And one of the reasons it’s broken down here is that it’s largely run by and for black people. They simply do not place a high cultural value on education, and I’m not going to pretend otherwise any longer.“

I can’t believe it. Like so many Yankee transplants, Caitlin has had a dramatic change of heart on the issue of race. But though I’ve seen it before, I would never have expected it from her. ”That’s a pretty racist view, Caitlin.“

”I’m not a racist,“ she asserts. ”I’m a realist.“

”If I said those things, I’d be labeled a racist. Does being from Boston make it all right for you to espouse those views?“

Her fork jangles on her plate ”I’m not some spoiled dilettante, okay? That’s what I was five years ago, when I got here. Now I have a personal stake in this issue.“ She takes my hand again and squeezes with urgency. ”Let them have this town, Penn. They want their turn on top? Give it to them. Let Shad Johnson turn this beautiful little city into another Fayette. You can’t stop it anyway. Not even if you’re mayor. Maybe after they run it down to nothing, they’ll learn something about running things.“

”What’s that?“

”That you have to give a damn. You have to sacrifice. You have to work.“

”This from the child of a multimillionaire?“

Her eyes flash with anger. ”You think my father didn’t work to build what he has? You think I haven’t worked?“

”Calm down. Of course he did. But he did it in a different context. He did it with certain advantages of law, capital, and…frankly, the old-boy network.“

Caitlin shakes her head in exasperation as the waiter delivers our entrees. Her blackened catfish smokes on the plate, and my duck looks perfectly seared. The only problem is that I’m no longer hungry. After the waiter leaves, I say, ”Well, at least I know where you stand now.“

She puts her hands together as though praying. ”Don’t do this, Penn. Let us have a life somewhere else. Someplace where this conflict doesn’t have to be at the center of our daily lives.“

I point at her plate. ”Are you going to eat?“

She looks down at her catfish and grimaces. ”I know you hate everything I’ve said. If I were the person I was five years ago, I’d be screaming invective at the person I am now. To someone with no experience of this place, I sound like a native redneck. But there’s no teacher like experience.“

”Why don’t we change the subject while we eat?“

Caitlin nods, then lifts her fork and breaks off a piece of fish.

”We can talk about anything but race, politics, or Drew’s murder case,“ I say.

Her eyes flick up at my last words.

”Don’t,“ I warn her.

”Penn, what’s going on? We worked together all through the Del Payton case. I helped you with your investigation, and you fed me parts of the story.“

”That was a different situation.“

”Was it? Or was it just that in that case you could exploit me in return?“

I hate to admit it, but she might be right.

”Just tell me this,“ she says. ”Is the possibility that you might run for mayor what kept you from representing Drew?“

I sigh heavily. ”Probably so.“

A deep sadness fills her eyes. ”You’re becoming a politician already.“

”No. A realist.“

”I was afraid you didn’t represent him because you thought he’d killed Kate.“

”No.“

”Good. I’m glad.“ She forks a small piece of catfish into her mouth. ”The seasoning is perfect on this. Wow.“

”You can’t get it like that in Boston.“

Caitlin rolls her eyes.

”What do you think about Drew and Kate?“ I ask. ”Not the case-their relationship.“

She takes a long drink of wine. ”I understand it. They both got something they wanted-maybe even needed- from the relationship.“

”What did Drew get?“

”The adoration of a beautiful and brilliant young girl. He got to break Thomas Wolfe’s rule and go home again. And he got the possibility of a whole new life with a person a lot like himself. That’s probably a more powerful rush than heroin to a guy like Drew.“ Caitlin smiles strangely. ”Can you imagine the ecstasy he must have felt making love to Kate? I mean, that’s like evolutionary nirvana.You know?“

No, I don’t,I think, as an image of Mia flashes behind my eyes. ”What did Kate get out of it?“

”Apart from the obvious? The Freudian thing?“

”You mean Drew as father figure?“

”Sure,“ Caitlin says, laughing. ”Kate’s dad left the family when she was six-something she shares with Mia Burke, by the way. I don’t think Mia ever even knew her father.“

”No. He left when Mia was two.“

”All love is transactional by nature,“ Caitlin says, chewing thoughtfully. ”The boost to Kate’s self-image must have been enormous. Being wanted by Drew didn’t just make her feel loved-it made her feelworth being loved. You can’t overestimate the value of that to an adolescent girl. And