Turning Angel

a common cause of death in people with malignant high blood pressure, which is what my condition resembles.

My plan is simple-simple and insanely dangerous. It was Cyrus’s TV sitting on the cabinets that inspired it. I perched on Cyrus’s recliner and worked it out in my head. The heavy battery array could remain inside the cabinet. I would take the trickle charger from the cart and put it inside the cabinet with the batteries, then connect it to the first battery in the series. Then I would remove the cell caps from the batteries. As the batteries charged, hydrogen gas released by the lead plates would bubble steadily upward through the acid in the cells. The closed cabinet would serve to confine the gas. And confined hydrogen gas is basically a bomb.

All I needed was a fuse.

I found my fuse in less than a minute. Near the back of the soapstone countertop was a hole for electrical cords to pass through. Farther down the counter, above the next cabinet, was another hole. Both were sealed with rubber gaskets, but the gaskets popped out easily. The hole nearest the TV would be my fuse. Lighting it at the proper time would be the hard part, but I resolved to deal with one problem at a time.

In my weakened physical state, it took me half an hour to manhandle the charger off its cart and into the cabinet. I shivered as I connected the leads to the first battery, fearing that the cabinet might already contain free hydrogen. When the leads were connected successfully, I popped the caps off the battery cells and shut the cabinet doors.

The last step was to prep the TV for Cyrus. This trick I learned in seventh grade, by watching a friend of mine blow the school’s fuses from our study hall. His technique was simple. He’d take a paper clip, straighten it out, then wrap the wire around both prongs of the electrical plug on the box fan at the back of the classroom. Then he’d shut his eyes and jam the plug into the socket. Blue sparks would shoot from the wall, and the lights would go out all over St. Stephen’s.

If I’m lucky, Cyrus will do the same thing for me.

I’ve spent eleven hours pondering everything that could possibly go wrong. Hydrogen is invisible, as the Triton signs warned me long ago. If Cyrus stays gone too long, the gas will build to a lethal concentration, and I’ll suffocate in here. For that reason, I can’t let myself fall asleep. Then there’s the paper clip. I found a whole box of them in one of the lab drawers. They looked like they were made of metal, but what if they’re made of some nonconducting material? A research lab might use something like that.

And then of course there’s Cyrus himself: an unpredictable factor if ever there was one. The moment I hear him unlocking the dead bolts, I’ll have to jump up and pull the rubber gasket out of the hole in the countertop. That will allow the trapped hydrogen to vent through the hole. But to ignite that gas, Cyrus will have to insert the jerry-rigged TV plug into the outlet above the countertop. What if he finds the unplugged TV cord suspicious? What if he simply gives me a once-over and leaves again, as he’s done a couple of times before? What if, what if, what if?

The wait is killing me. Literally.

Time is a big fucking razor blade scraping across the universe,Cyrus told me. No past or future-just now. Maybe he’s right-I think I actually read something like that somewhere. But right now I feel like he’s wrong. Time is a river, and I can swim backward in it as effortlessly as I please. Sometimes, even when I don’t want to think about the past, it floods over me anyway, a liquid wall of memory and emotion that sweeps away everything in its path. Lying on this sleeping bag, my skin itching, my muscles aching, my mouth dry as sand, I try not to let sadness overwhelm me as pictures of my wife float through my head, my wife before the cancer got her. I see her giving birth to Annie, screaming in agony and then smiling in exhaustion. Sarah is gone now, of course, but Annie remains. For a while I wonder if Sarah has appeared to me because I will soon join her. That’s just fear, I conclude. Think about Annie. Annie’s still alive. Annie still needs you…

As I repeat this mantra over and over, a new emotion is born within me-strangely enough, for the first time. It’s hatred. Not a generalized hatred, but a highly specific animus directed at one man: Cyrus White. Because of Cyrus, I lie helpless in a locked room, drifting slowly but steadily toward death. Because of Cyrus, my daughter might have to grow up without her father. And she has already done without her mother for too long.

Up until now, I have excused Cyrus in my head. He hasn’t tortured me as he has supposedly done to others; he has promised me life. Did Cyrus create himself? No, said my guilt. Cyrus is a product of the town we created. But lying here now, I reject that idea utterly. Cyrus had choices-more than a lot of people less fortunate than he. He made it out of this town. He served in the military. Yet despite this chance to rise above his disadvantages, he chose evil over good. And not once, but again and again. Images of the dead and injured fill my mind. Kate Townsend. Sonny Cross. Chris Vogel. The Catholic kid in the hospital, Mike Pinella. Paul and Janet Wilson.Cyrus may not be directly responsible for all of them, but he happily feeds the beast that took their lives. And the next time he walks through that door, I will devote every atom of my being to killing him.

I’m nearly asleep when I hear the click.

I tell my body to move, but it doesn’t respond. I’m lying on the surface of Jupiter, with twice the gravity of Earth sucking at my bones.

As the first dead bolt clicks open, I roll over and struggle to my feet. My belly pounds with terrifying pressure as I stagger over to the counter and pull the rubber gasket out of the countertop.

I’m only halfway back to my bag when Cyrus opens the door.

”What the fuck?“ he says. ”Look at this junkie motherfucker!“

Trying to turn toward him, I collapse on my sleeping bag.

”What the hell are you doing?“ he asks me. ”You mainline that whole bag or something?“

I groan in mock agony, but I don’t have to fake it much. The pains shooting across my face feel like someone’s pinching me with pliers.

Anger twists Cyrus’s face when he looks at the countertop. ”What the fuck? This place is a mess!“

”I’m sick,“ I grunt, twisting my sleeping bag around me. ”I’m sorry.“

”You sorry, all right.“ He walks into the room and stops. ”Motherfucker! You been up in my Pringles? “

”I was hungry.“

”Junkie motherfucker! I shoulda killed yo’ ass in the beginning.“

I writhe on the sleeping bag, then straighten out on my stomach. ”I’ll be all right soon. I just…I don’t know.“ I close my eyes and lie still. Right now hydrogen gas is rising through the hole in the counter in an invisible column.

”I got to get out of this place,“ Cyrus mutters. ”Got that old nigger in the guardhouse talking my ear off, and back here I got your nasty ass. I’m gonna lock you in a broom closet in the plant or something. Shit. “

”Witches’ Broom,“I whisper.

”What?“

I don’t reply.

”Hey, Blue!“ Cyrus yells. ”Shoot this motherfucker up. Shut him up for a while.“

Heavy footsteps sound in the lab, then soft creaks as Cyrus sits in the Naugahyde recliner.

”Shit,“he curses. ”My TV don’t work!“

”Probably the remote,“ says Blue, moving toward me with the blowtorch.

Cyrus gets up and walks somewhere. I want to look, but I don’t.

”No,“ he says, slapping plastic. ”It’s broken, man.“

”Plugged in?“ asks Blue.

The big man kneels beside me and picks up the baggie and the spoon.

”That’s it! This stoned motherfucker done got into my Pringlesand unplugged my TV. If it was me on that syringe, I’d waste his ass.“

Blue starts cooking the heroin. ”You ain’t gonna fight me this time?“

”No.“ The tiny roar of the blowtorch floods my system with adrenaline. If the hydrogen escaping from the cabinet fills this room fast enough, we’ll all die before Cyrus even picks up the TV plug. I groan and roll onto my side so I can watch Cyrus.

He has the plug in his hand. He’s holding it near the electrical socket, but he’s stopped to say something to Blue.