do. I was such a disappointment to your father. He was very understanding. And I
“Urinate, you mean?”
She blushes deep red. “No. And if he tried, I felt terrible pain. I don’t want to talk about that, all right? I can’t. I’m not sure what I’m actually remembering and what I might be making up. But one thing I do remember…” She crushes the paper towel into a wet ball and wipes her eyes, but it won’t stop the fresh tears. “The way Ann looked at me. In the evenings, especially, when Mom was gone to play bridge. Ann would go into Daddy’s study to keep him occupied. And I would stay in my room. I knew she hated going in there. I knew she was afraid of him. I was, too, down deep, though I wouldn’t have admitted that to anyone. Not even to myself. How could I be afraid of my daddy? He loved me and took care of me. But whenever Ann left me to spend time with him, she looked at me the way you’d look at something you were trying to protect.”
Mom’s chin is quivering like a little girl’s. I’m not sure she can endure much more of this. “And now,” she says, “now I know that’s exactly what she was doing. Protecting me from him. She was only four years older, but… dear God, I can’t stand to think about it.”
She crumples over the table, sobbing uncontrollably. I lean down over her and hug her as tight as I can. “I love you, Mom. I love you so much.”
“I don’t know how…at least Ann tried to protect me. But I didn’t protect you…my own baby.”
“You couldn’t,” I whisper. “You couldn’t even protect yourself.”
She sits up and grits her teeth, obviously furious at herself.
“Mom, you didn’t even know what had happened to you. Not consciously. I don’t think you knew until last night.”
“But how is that possible?” Her eyes implore me for an answer. “
“I think we all shut it out, because to admit what he did to us would have been admitting that he didn’t love us. That he wasn’t taking care of us for us…but for him. To
Mom takes my hand in hers and squeezes it in a clawlike grip. “What are you going to do, Cat?”
“I’m going to make him admit what he did.”
She shakes her head, her eyes filled with terror. “He’ll never do that!”
“He’ll have no choice. I’m going to prove that he did it. And then I’m going to see him punished for it.”
“He’ll kill you, Cat. He will.”
I start to deny it, but Mom is right. Grandpapa sterilized his ten-year-old daughter so that he could continue to molest her after puberty without fear of pregnancy. He murdered her future children for a few brief years of pleasure. And in the end that drove her mad.
He murdered my father to protect himself.
He wouldn’t hesitate to kill me for the same reason.
“Did he ever say anything like that to you?” I ask. “Did he threaten to harm you?”
“No,” Mom says, her voice tiny. But suddenly her eyes jerk in their sockets.
Mom is speaking in the half whisper of a terrified child, and the sound leaves me cold. I hug her again in reassurance. “I know you’re afraid of him. But I’m not. The best protection we have is the truth. And the truth is in Daddy’s coffin.”
Her eyes flicker. “Why do you think that? What can Luke’s body tell you?”
“I’m not sure. It may be that Lena is the answer. In my dream, Daddy was trying to tell me something about Lena, and I have to find out what it is.”
“Do you really believe that? That he was trying to reach you?”
“No. I think I saw something on the night Daddy died. Saw it and then blocked it out. But I won’t know what it was until they open that coffin and I look inside. Maybe not even then. It might take a repeat autopsy. But, Mom…I can’t do any of this without your help.”
She looks down at the table, fear battling something else in her eyes. “Luke was a sweet boy,” she murmurs. “Whatever he went through overseas hurt him badly, but it was our family that finished him off.”
I wait for more, but she doesn’t speak again. “Mom? Will you help me?”
When her eyes finally rise to meet mine, I see something I never saw in them as a child.
Courage.
“Tell me what to do,” she says.
Chapter 55
The gravediggers have been at work for over two hours, their sweat-soaked backs bent over shovels and spades in heat that’s already blistering at 11 A.M. There are six of them, elderly but muscular black men in khaki work suits. They dig slowly but steadily, like long-distance runners, their forearms rippling in the sun, and they take cigarette breaks every half hour. They retire behind a wall to do this, sharing their Kools with the backhoe operator, who sits on his yellow machine like an emperor, waiting to move the casket the last few yards to the funeral home’s van. Because it lies in the oldest, most thickly wooded part of the cemetery, our family plot poses problems for the backhoe. But the gravediggers have got the coffin uncovered now. Its burnished lid gleams dully in the sun. They’re widening the hole for their straps, and soon a hoist will bring up what was meant to lie here for eternity.
It took ninety minutes of dedicated effort to set this process in motion. First I drove my mother to the Wall Street office of Michael Wells’s attorney, who’d left his breakfast to meet us to make out an affidavit. Then we walked across the street to the courthouse and filed the affidavit with the chancery judge, who signed an ex parte court order authorizing exhumation for a repeat autopsy on Luke Ferry. With the court order in hand, I dropped Mom by her shop and called the funeral director, the cemetery superintendent, and the medical examiner in Jackson. The medical examiner’s office was so agreeable that I suspected they’d received a call from Special Agent Kaiser of the FBI.
As prescribed by custom in Mississippi, the funeral director is present as a witness. A kind and florid man of seventy, Mr. McDonough has monopolized the white burial trade in Natchez for fifty years. He stands in the shade in his shirtsleeves, his black suit jacket folded over a brick wall. He discouraged my intention to “view the remains,” as he put it. I tried to allay Mr. McDonough’s anxieties by telling him I have considerable experience with both death and autopsies, but he only sighed and said, “No matter how much experience you have, when it’s your own folks, it’s different.”
I’ll know in a few minutes.
My primary concern is the condition of my father’s body. Mr. McDonough checked his records this morning and learned that Daddy’s coffin wasn’t placed in a vault before burial, which simplifies the exhumation process but also increases the chance that water has penetrated the casket. My grandfather-who handled the funeral arrangements-is apparently one of the few who knows the origin of the custom of using vaults in America. In the last century, to gain admission to medical school, applicants were required to provide one cadaver. This resulted in a great many thefts of corpses. The coffin vault was adopted as a deterrent to body snatching, because two or three strong men were required to lift the vault off a coffin. Most people today buy vaults believing that they’ll prevent water from reaching their beloved, and this is partly true. But eternity is a very long time. Water carved the Grand Canyon, and it can penetrate anything made by man, given enough time. Grandpapa saw no reason to pay good money for a preventive measure that was only temporary.
He did, however, buy the finest bronze casket available, probably to impress his friends and to appease my distraught mother. That particular model had a gum-rubber burp seal, which allows gases from decomposition to escape the coffin but prevents the entry of moisture. So there’s a decent chance that I won’t have to endure a horror show when they open the lid.
I’ve passed the morning by watching the mound of dark earth slowly grow beside the grave I’ve visited as often as I could over the years. It’s less dirt than you’d expect. Graves aren’t six feet deep anymore. By law only
