Dead Ringer

Ray grabbed Bennie’s hand. She pretended not to notice. Litigation reduced men to little boys, and women to Gloria Allred.

Judge Delburton slipped on black reading glasses that matched his robe. “The question reads, ‘Judge Delburton, are we allowed to give the plaintiff more than the three million dollars he is asking for?’”

Oh my God. Bennie’s mouth went dry. This couldn’t be happening. It was a runaway jury. Ray slumped in his seat like a crash-test dummy.

Judge Delburton gestured to plaintiff’s table. “Counsel, what is plaintiff’s position on the answer to this question?”

“Thank you, Your Honor.” Plaintiff’s counsel rose and couldn’t hide a giddy chuckle. “The answer to the question is yes. In addition to the three million dollars in compensatory damages, plaintiff is entitled to punitive damages. We put on substantial evidence of the invidious nature of the misconduct and fraud perpetrated by the defendant company and its owner, Mr. Finalil. An award in excess of the three million in damages is more than justified.”

“Thank you.” Judge Delburton slipped off his glasses and turned to Bennie. “Ms. Rosato, for the defense, your thoughts on this matter.”

“Thank you, Your Honor.” Bennie swallowed with difficulty and rose on weak knees. “The answer to the jury’s question should be no. The jury may not extend damages to a figure that plaintiff’s evidence doesn’t factually support. The jury should be charged again and told that they are required to base their verdict on the evidence, not on anything else.”

“Thank you, Counsel.” Judge Delburton slipped his glasses back on and placed the jurors’ note neatly on his desk. The document would be nice and flat for the appeal that would surely follow, either way. “I have your arguments, and I hold that we will answer the question in the affirmative. The plaintiff did request punitive damages, so the jury may award damages in excess of the compensatory amount of three million. I will so instruct them.”

“Objection for the record,” Bennie said reflexively. She glanced over at Ray, who looked as if he were ready to hurl. The deputy clerk brought the jury back into the courtroom, and the judge answered their question and sent them out to deliberate again. Then the judge and his staff left the courtroom, the plaintiff and his lawyer gloated down the aisle, and Bennie turned to Ray. But by now she had her bearings.

“Ray, don’t freak,” she said, but it was too late.

“How can I not? Didn’t you hear what they said?” Ray tore off his glasses and slapped a hand to his face, rubbing reddish streaks into his cheek. “They’re gonna give him more than three million dollars!”

“No, that’s not necessarily so. I admit this looks bad, but you never know with a jury question. They-”

“This is a disaster! A disaster! How can they do this to me?”

“Ray, wait, calm down.” Bennie reached across counsel table for a gray plastic pitcher, shook a Styrofoam cup from the upside-down stack, and poured him some water. “Please listen to me. We don’t know where that question came from and we don’t know what it means. It’s not necessarily a question the whole jury has, and it most likely isn’t. Somebody could have a stray hair. It happens-”

“But the question!” Ray gulped water and some splashed over the rim. “Didn’t you hear that question? What am I gonna do? This is unreal! This is a catastrophe!”

“I don’t think the plaintiff proved his case. You didn’t think so either, remember? We thought that they lost, and nothing has changed except for the jury question. So my opinion remains the same.” Bennie looked directly into his stricken eyes, which were peering over the Styrofoam like Kilroy. “Scharf was a lousy witness, remember? He was angry on the stand, not sympathetic, and angry plaintiffs never win. Remember my Angry Plaintiff Theory?”

“No!”

“Yes you do.” Bennie leaned over. “Ray, look. I’ve seen this before. Everybody goes crazy when the jury asks a question. Everybody tries to read the tea leaves. People run and scatter. Don’t lose your head.”

“But they asked the question!”

“Forget the question. We don’t know what it means and we can’t do anything about it. Our defense went in very nicely. You were a great witness, and so were Jake and Marty. We’re in the right. We told the truth. So stay the course.”

“The course is what got me here! The course is gonna kill me!” Ray set down the cup, spilling water on the table. “Shouldn’t I settle? Maybe I can still settle!”

“They wanted five hundred grand last time we asked, and you didn’t have it. You knock over a gas station since then?” Bennie didn’t wait for an answer. “And I’m sure their demand just went up. So we have no choice but to wait.”

“But it’s like waiting to get hit by a train! I’m tied to the tracks here!”

“Wait, and stay calm.”

“Easy for you to say!” Ray exploded, his voice echoing in the empty courtroom. His eyes flashed with sudden anger. “If I lose, you won’t have to pay a dime! You just go on to the next case! You’re a typical fucking lawyer!”

Bennie felt stung. Silence fell between them. The clock on the wall ticked away. This time, she was sure of it. “We’re in this together, Ray,” she said, after a minute.

She didn’t expect him to believe it.

But it was true.

Only half an hour later, court was back in session, and the jury was entering the jury box. The jury foreman held a piece of white typing paper in his hand. It was the verdict sheet, which contained a single question and answer. The courtroom went completely quiet as everyone scrutinized the jurors, including Bennie. She noticed that they avoided eye contact with her, and she tried not to take it as a bad sign. She could hear Ray sucking wind. At least he wasn’t green anymore.

Judge Delburton was sitting in his black leather chair atop the dais, eyeing the jurors over his reading glasses. When they were resettled and looking at him, he addressed them. “Has the jury reached a verdict?”

“We have, Your Honor,” answered the foreman. He rose and handed the verdict sheet to the deputy clerk.

Bennie held her breath. Ray clenched his fists. The deputy clerk handed the verdict sheet to Judge Delburton, who opened and read it to himself, his expression impassive. Then he handed it back to the deputy clerk, who puffed out his chest, held the paper high, and read it aloud:

“Question: Do you find the defendant is liable to the plaintiff, and if so what are his damages? Answer: We find the defendant not liable.”

Yes! Yes! Yes! Bennie felt like shouting for joy. They had won! She nodded toward the jury in gratitude as Ray grabbed her hand and squeezed it hard. She looked over, and he’d burst into a broad grin, which didn’t let up even as the jurors were polled by a shocked plaintiff’s lawyer, answered “not liable” one by one, then were dismissed by the judge, who left the room with his staff, closing the door behind them.

“Congratulations!” Bennie shouted when they were alone again, and Ray leapt into her arms. She gave him a heartfelt hug. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so happy. Or so relieved. “We won, Ray! Thank God!”

“I won! I won!” Ray yelled, and when she broke their embrace, his eyes were welling up behind his glasses.

“Aw, it’s all over, Ray!” Bennie gave him another hug. She’d never seen a grown accountant cry. So what if he’d gotten a little jerky in the clutch? Served her right for telling lawyer jokes. “Enjoy it! We won!”

“I know, I can’t believe it.” Ray took off has glasses and squeezed his eyes with his thumb and index finger, trying to regain his composure. “You said I would, and I did.”

“I won’t even say I told you so.” Bennie clapped him on the back and picked up her briefcase and bag. “Come on, let’s go celebrate! Drinks on you!”

But when Ray removed his hands from his eyes and replaced his glasses, he still looked miserable. His forehead creased with anxiety, his eyes brimmed with tears, and his lower lip trembled.

“Ray, cheer up! We won! It’s all over!”

“It’s not that.” Ray cleared his throat and met her gaze with wet eyes. “I have something to tell you.”

“What?”

“I can’t pay.”