Two-Dollar Bill

someone I do, or rather, did represent. At one time.'

'And who would that be?' The waiter returned with her drink, and she sipped it.

'You remember my client, now former client, the large Texan with the glittery tuxedo and the Tiffany, at the Woodman and Weld party?'

'How could I possibly forget?'

'Turns out he's not only my former client; he's also Rodney Peeples.'

Tiff nearly choked on her drink. 'What are you talking about?'

'I thought I was clear.'

'Why didn't you tell this to the Secret Service guys who called on you? Don't you know it's a felony to lie to a federal investigator?'

'Because, when I spoke to them, I didn't know that Billy Bob and Peeples were one and the same.'

'And how did you find out? Did he tell you?'

'I found out by doing a Google search for Peeples, an investigative technique available to any six-year-old with a computer, and one that I recommend to your Junior G-Men.'

'And what did you find out about Peeples?'

'That he is a used-car dealer in San Mateo, California, and a CPA in Enid, Oklahoma.'

'And you're sure that he's my Rodney Peeples?'

'No, just that he's my Rodney Peeples. Both Web sites sport his photograph.'

'Well, we didn't know about either San Mateo or Enid. Did you get the two-dollar bill from Peeples/Billy Bob?'

'I can't say.'

'I'll take that as a yes.'

'Having received information, it is your turn to impart it.'

'Let's just say that we have evidence of other activities of Mr. Peeples, but not the two you mention.'

'Exchanging information with you is an unrewarding experience,' Stone said.

'If I told you, I'd have to lock you up, so you couldn't tell anybody else.'

'You'd do that?'

'Not if I could help it, but the AG would do it in the blink of an eye, if he thought you knew about it.'

'You intrigue me.'

'That's the nicest thing anybody has said to me all day,' she said, batting her eyes furiously. 'My office is buying dinner,' she said, reaching for a menu, 'in return for the information.'

'Oh, no, you don't. I'm not becoming a confidential informant for the feds, and don't you dare write my name down anywhere.'

'I'll have to tell some people where I got the information about Peeples.'

'Tell them you got it from Google, which is the truth, sort of.'

'Okay. If you insist on buying, let's split the porterhouse.'

'Gold digger.'

16

STONE WAS WAKENED from a sound sleep by the ringing of his bedside telephone. He answered it as quickly as possible, to avoid waking Tiff, who slumbered beside him, her hand on his belly.

'Hello?' he half whispered.

'Hey, Stone.' The line was staticky and faint.

Stone felt a wave of irritation. 'Billy Bob.'

'You left me a message to call.'

'Not at…' he looked at the bedside clock '… three-thirty in the morning.'

'Sorry about that. It ain't three-thirty here.'

'Where are you?'

'Maui.'

'Hawaii?'

'Got a little deal going out here. What did you want to talk to me about?'

Stone checked the caller ID window on the phone. Unavailable, 'It's hard to remember in the middle of the night.'

'Well, I might not be able to get back to you for a few days. We're headed out for a little cruise on a big ol' yacht in the morning.'

'Oh, yes, I remember. I've resigned from representing you as your attorney. I sent you a letter and a refund of your retainer to your Dallas address.'

'Well, shoot, Stone. What'd you want to go and do that for? Ain't my money no good?'

'I don't represent clients who conceal their identities from me, or who employ more than one identity.'

A silence.

'Or who murder women in my guest room.'

'It wasn't murder, exactly,' Billy Bob said, and he managed to sound sheepish.

'Exactly what was it?'

'She wanted me to choke her a little; said she got off better that way. I told her to tap me on the hand if she wanted me to stop, but she didn't. I don't know why.'

'You're a big, strong guy, Billy Bob,' Stone said. 'Strong hands, I expect. By the way, the electric blanket was a clever idea. It threw the medical examiner for a loop, until he figured it out.'

'I needed to buy me some time,' Billy Bob said. 'Are the cops looking for me?'

Stone wasn't going to become an accomplice to flight. 'I can't comment on that.'

'I'm looking for advice, here, Stone; that's what I'm paying you for.'

'No, you're not. I've sent you a cashier's check for the full fifty thousand, so you haven't paid me a penny.'

'So that's the way it is, then?'

'That's the way it is. I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't contact me again.'

'Oh, you'll be hearing from me, Stone.'

'And Billy Bob? The next time you print up some cards for Warren Buffett, try and remember that he spells his name with two't's.'

Silence, then Billy Bob hung up.

Stone tried to get back to sleep, but he spent the rest of the night staring at the ceiling.

STONE FELL ASLEEP about a minute before Tiff woke him, moving her hand down his belly. He groaned. 'I got a phone call in the middle of the night and never got back to sleep. Forgive me if I'm not too responsive this morning.'

'So Billy Bob is in Hawaii?'

'I thought you were asleep. You're a sneaky person.'

'Where in Hawaii?'

'Let me think about this for a moment.' He thought about it. 'He told me where he was while he still thought I was his attorney, so I can't tell you.'

'God, but you're a pain in the ass.'

'I cherish my license to practice law,' Stone replied.

She grabbed his balls. 'I'll bet I could torture it out of you.'

'We're not at Guantanamo, missy,' he said. 'Oh, Billy Bob did confess to murder, and that was after I told him I wasn't his lawyer anymore.'

'Murder?'

'You haven't heard?' He told her about Tiffany's death. 'Actually, he didn't confess to murder; he said it was an accident.'