A Girl's Guide to Vampires

It was exactly what I wanted to hear, what I needed to hear. He was acknowledging my concerns and fears, and promised to answer all my questions… after it was over? I stopped him just a hairsbreadth from my lips. 'What do you mean, after this is over? Raphael, you could be in jail then!'

His fingers curled into my hair, teasing my nape. 'Baby, I won't go to jail.'

'What's to keep you out this time?'

I regretted the words as soon as they left my lips. His fingers stop stroking my neck.

'This time?' His gaze held mine. I stared at him, my heart tearing into a thousand pieces at the flicker of pain in his eyes, a layer of ice settling around me as he pushed me off his lap and cocked an eyebrow at me. 'I see. That's the information you wanted from Dominic. Do you mind my asking how you expect to use what Dominic told you to prove who the murderer is?'

'That wasn't exactly the purpose of our meeting with him,' I said miserably, tears starting at the back of my eyes. 'I'm sorry, Raphael. I'm very sorry and ashamed of myself. I don't like poking into your past, I just want to help you. I want to keep you safe, and since you won't tell me what it is you are keeping from me, I thought if I knew, I'd be able to do whatever it takes to keep Inspector Bartos away from you.'

He watched for a moment as tears streaked down my cheeks, then wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to his chest. I buried my face in his neck and watered his shirt. 'Baby, I wish I could tell you everything,' he said, his lips in my hair. 'I wish I could, but it's not possible yet. You have to trust me just a little bit longer.'

'I do trust you; it's you who doesn't trust me,' I pointed out, sniffing and wiping the dampness of my tears off his neck.

He didn't say anything to that, just thumbed the tears off my cheeks and looked at me with eyes dark with longing, regret, and pain.

'What is the problem you're having with Christian?' he asked.

'You're changing the subject.'

'I know I am. What is the problem you're having with Christian?'

'This hasn't resolved anything. Even if Roxy and I don't go after the murderer, I'll still be worried about you, and will continue to worry until Bartos has someone other than you under lock and key.'

'If it will make you feel better, Joy, I will swear to you that he won't arrest me for Tanya's murder.'

'How can you swear that?'

His eyes went darker.

I looked into them and saw the answer for myself. He was still keeping things from me, still hiding secrets that he wouldn't share, but that was no longer the issue it had been earlier. He loved me. I had to trust that in time, he would tell me everything.

'I should be going. I've got a lot to do, and I imagine you do as well.' I got up from the bed and gathered my coat and purse.

He stopped me. 'What is the problem with Christian?'

I thought about not telling him, but decided he would be safer knowing the truth. 'Nothing's the problem with him, unless you count a nine-hundred-year-old vampire as a problem, unless you find the fact that your mind and body and soul can be invaded by him with the merest thought of his mind a problem. Problem? I don't know—is it a problem to have an immortal man with limitless power thinking you're the sole person in the entire history of time who can save him from eternal damnation?'

'Vampire?' Raphael couldn't have looked more surprised than if I'd stripped off all my clothes and stood on my head. 'You don't mean to tell me that you actually believe he's one of those creatures he writes about?'

'Oh, I don't just believe it, buster, I know.'

Disbelief was rampant in his eyes.

'Don't you give me that look,' I warned, pointing my finger at him. 'Don't you give me that 'She's mad, I'll humor her because I'm a manly sort of man and she's my woman and thus I must put up with all of her foolishness and pretend it's not foolish at all even though inside I'm laughing so hard I could break my spleen' look! I am not mad, and I'm not imagining it.'

'Joy,' he sighed, taking my hands in his. I tried to take them back, but he was too strong. 'I know you're upset about this murder and the fact that I've got a job to do—'

'What job?' I interrupted him, suspicious. 'You mean something other than just your security work? Do you have another job? A secret job? Something else you aren't telling me?'

'—and I know you and Roxy are enamored with Christian because he writes books you enjoy, but, no matter what he tells you, there is no such thing as a vampire.'

I turned my hands so I could pinch his wrists. 'I used to think that too. I thought Roxy was nuts for wanting to come here, but then the visions started, and then he started making midnight visits to me in bed—'

'WHAT?'

'—and I have to tell you, being seduced long distance by someone's mind goes a long way into making a believer out of you.'

Raphael stared at me for a minute, as though seeking the truth in my eyes, then let go of my hands so he could rub his jaw. 'Joy, I don't know what you've experienced, but I do know it can't be real.'

'It is real, Raphael. I didn't know it was him at first—I thought it might be Milos or someone—but then Christian admitted it when we were in his dungeon. Roxy heard him.'

'He's bamming you, love.'

'No, he's not. I know what I felt! He invaded my mind. He touched me, physically, only he wasn't in the same room.'

Raphael's frown deepened. 'Touched you how?'

I held his gaze. 'As a lover might.'

The muscles in his jaw flexed. 'He's drugged you. He's drugged you with something to make you see visions and believe he has supernatural powers.'

'Oh, God, Raphael, he hasn't drugged me—'

'Baby, there's nothing you can say to make me believe that anyone is a vampire, least of all Christian. A parasite, a psychotic madman bent on seducing you, a poor fool who's deluded himself into believing his stories are real, yes, he's all that, but not a real vampire. They just… don't… exist.'

'Well, we're going to have to agree to disagree here, because I know what I know.' I stuffed my arms into my coat.

'Damn it, woman, there is no such thing as a vampire!' He grabbed my coat as I stepped into my shoes. I tried to walk past him, but he caught my chin in his hand and tipped my head back so he could fire those amber eyes at me. 'This is not arrogance talking, this is not jealousy, it is simply a matter of facts.'

I stared at him for a few seconds, wondering if he knew the danger he was putting himself in by being so blind. So stubborn. So determined to not need anyone's help. 'I don't blame you for not believing me. I didn't believe it at first either, not even when Christian invaded my head. But it is the truth, and pretending it's not won't make it go away.'

'I don't need to pretend to make Christian go away,' he growled, grabbing me and hauling me up against his chest. His eyes were dark with emotion, frustration and love and anger all mingled together.

'You're hurting me,' I whispered against his lips. He gentled his hold on my neck, then dropped his hands from me altogether, stepping back to release me.

I looked at the man I loved with my heart and soul, and swore an oath that I would not let his stubbornness ruin our lives. He might not want me playing detective, he might not believe that Christian was who I knew he was, but I could, and would, do whatever it took to keep disaster from rolling over us. Slowly I gathered up my things.

'Do you understand what I'm saying, Joy? Christian is nothing to us.'

I stood still for a moment, then nodded and turned to leave. Oh, I understood him. The problem was, he wouldn't believe what he couldn't see. I opened the door, curiosity forcing me to stop on the top step and ask, 'You know who killed Tanya, don't you?'

He came up behind me, standing so close I could feel the heat from his chest. 'Yes, I do.'

I looked at my hand on the door latch. 'Is it Milos?'

I felt rather than saw him stiffen.