Paen held me tight while I wept through the long, dark hours of the night.

Chapter 17

'What's first?' Finn asked without any prologue when Paen and I emerged from my bedroom several hours later. 'The statue or the manuscript?'

'Manuscript,' Paen said at the same time I answered, 'Statue.'

The love of my life glared at me. 'We'll find the manuscript first. You need your soul.'

'We'll find the statue first,' I said, ignoring his scowl to pour myself a cup of tea from a lukewarm pot and scrounge a piece of toast from the breakfast remains that Finn and Clare had left scattered over the table. 'My soul is already gone, but your mother's isn't.'

'We still have a day left—' Paen started to say.

I shook my head and interrupted him, speaking around a mouthful of cold toast. 'You said yourself my soul is tucked away somewhere on the Akasha. It's not going anywhere, but Paen, your mother's is in danger. And my darling, you and I both know how horrible it is to live without it. I wouldn't want her to have to go through this hell.'

His frown deepened until it was as dark as his eyes. Begrudgingly—his reluctance to postpone the hunt for my soul something I cherished close to my heart—he agreed. 'But only because it's likely the two things are related, and if we find the statue, we should find if not the Coda itself, information about where it is.'

'That makes sense,' Clare said, pushing around a small mound of scrambled eggs with her fork. I looked at Finn, and was struck for the first time by something that hadn't occurred to me.

'You can eat food? People food, that is, rather than just… people?' I asked.

He grinned. 'I prefer the latter, but yes, I can eat food. Clare insisted I'd fade away to nothing unless I had something other than a liquid breakfast.'

'Oh.' I looked at Paen. 'Can you eat something other than blood, too?'

'If I had to, yes.'

I spread a little grapefruit marmalade on a bit of toast. 'Good. I was worried that since I was a few quarts low, you'd have to go elsewhere to have your breakfast, but if you can eat real food, that's perfect.'

He shook his head. 'Sam, food provides us with no nutrition. Finn and I need blood to survive. I'll just wait until you have fully recovered before I feed.'

You fed off me a few hours ago, I pointed out.

Just a few mouthfuls. His voice was tinged with regret. I'm sorry about thatI didn't intend to take any of your blood until you've recovered from the loss, but you drove me into such a frenzy it was all I could do to keep from taking more than I did.

'I can feel how hungry you are, Paen,' I said, accepting a plate of fresh eggs from Clare. 'I don't particularly like the thought of you snacking off of someone else, but this is a bit of an unusual situation, so you've got my OK to round up some breakfast.'

'No, I can't,' he said, going to the window to carefully look through the blinds.

'I appreciate that you don't want to do the fang sink with anyone else, but I have a feeling we're going to need your strength today. So go on out and find someone to feed from. Just don't enjoy it too much.'

Clare rolled her blue eyes and went to get her coat and purse.

'You don't understand. I can't feed from anyone but you,' Paen said, watching out the window.

I moved over to see what he was looking at. It was raining again, a cold, dark, nasty rain that almost exactly matched the cold, dark, nasty emptiness that resided inside of me. 'You can't? Is this some sort of a Beloved thing?'

'Yes. When I said a Dark One can't survive without his Beloved, I meant it. Once he finds her, human blood taken from anyone but a Beloved is poison. Likewise, the Beloved's blood is unacceptable to any other Moravian.'

'Whoa,' I said, a chill going down my arms. 'So if I had died when Pilar tried to kill me…'

'Paen would have died as well,' Finn said, standing to stretch. 'Which is one more thing I have to thank you for, Sam.'

'I thought you were immortal?' I asked Paen. 'You'd die without me? Really die?'

'Eventually. It isn't a quick or pleasant process, but it is inevitable.'

'Who thought up these rules?' I asked, exasperated. I didn't mind thinking that Paen would mourn me for a long time if I died, but I didn't want to be the cause of his death.

'I hope the answer to that is in the Coda,' he said, dropping the blinds to face the room. 'Have you finished?'

'Eating or asking questions?' I stuffed a last forkful of eggs into my mouth, washing it down with cold tea.

'Both.'

'Yes, I'm done. Let's go find Pilar and get the statue.'

'We must also have our revenge for the dress he shot!' Clare said. 'It will never recover, poor thing. This evil Pilar person must pay for that crime, and for shooting you, as well, Sam.'

'Nice to know I come in second to a dress,' I told her as I grabbed my bag and a jacket.

'Well, it is a Versace,' she pointed out.

'What's the plan?' Finn asked, waggling his eyebrows at Clare. 'I take it you want us to do some investigating?'

I looked at Paen. His eyes were dark with introspection. 'I think it's best if they tackle Reuben while we go after Mr. Race and Mr. Green, don't you?'

Paen nodded his agreement, still rubbing his jaw.

'So you're going to meet with Mr. Green while we're doing what with the poltergeist, exactly?' Clare asked as we left the apartment and headed down the stairs to the outer door. We stopped at the door so the men wouldn't have to stand around outside while we made the last of our arrangements.

'You're going to find Reuben. It shouldn't be too hard—Paen ripped off one of his arms, and there can't be that many five-armed, former faery poltergeists around here. Here's the address of the Guardian we used the other night. You and Finn help her question the poltergeist about the whereabouts of the statue.'

She put her hands on her hips in a faery version of pique. 'Why do we have to question Reuben about where it is? You're the one who lost it.'

'Stop being so snippy. Lives are at stake!'

She sighed. 'I know. But that poltergeist makes me uncomfortable.'

'I'm sure you'll be able to cope with him just fine. As for why you need to question him, I have no idea where the statue could be. It was taken from me, and could be anywhere in the beyond. I didn't have it when Paen pulled me through the only entrance he knew. But Pilar has no doubt told Reuben by now, so your job is to get that info from him.' I glanced at the watch on her wrist. 'We still have an hour before the appointment with Owen Race, so I think it's probably best if we talk with Caspar Green about what he knows first, then go out to Race's house. Does that sound all right to you?'

'Yes. I have a few things I'd like to say to Mr. Green,' Paen said, flexing his fingers.

I smiled at him. Amidst the horrible cold and torment that raged around inside me, he brought a little spot of warmth and happiness that gave me the strength to go on.

'What if they won't tell us what we want to know?' Clare said, her brow puckered. 'That poltergeist didn't look terribly smart to me.'

'We'll cross that bridge when we get to it,' Paen said, looking grim, his voice even grimmer. 'We aren't powerless.'

Clare murmured an agreement, and with that, we separated, Finn and Clare going off to see what they could find from the poltergeist while we headed to Caspar's apartment. To my surprise, he seemed to be expecting us.

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