The Last of the Red-Hot Vampires

It didn't.

'All you need do to complete this trial is walk over to me,' Terrin said with a happy little smile that I badly wanted to smack right off his face.

'This is not happening,' I told him, shaking my finger at him. 'Floors do not just disappear. And since I haven't been around any faery rings to breathe in hallucinogenic spores that don't show up on hospital tests, I doubt if this is a hallucination. Thus, I must be dreaming. An extremely lucid dream, one I want to stop right this very minute.'

I closed my eyes tightly and willed myself to wake up.

'I'm afraid I don't have a lot of time to give to your trial,' Terrin said.

My eyes popped open at the word trial. He looked at his watch. 'This isn't a timed event, but I do have other appointments I must attend to, so I would appreciate it if you could please focus on the matter at hand.'

'Good gravy, you're another henchman?'

Terrin's eyebrows rose. 'Pardon?'

'You're another one of Theo's henchmen, aren't you? Just like those two ladies? How many of you are there? It must be hugely expensive hiring so many people to play these silly roles. Regardless, I'm not going to do whatever it is he is paying you to get me to do, so feel free to go on to your other appointments.' I crossed my arms and tried to look decisive and absolute without appearing bitchy.

'I assure you, Portia Harding, I am not in the pay of Theo North.' Terrin's gaze on me was steady. 'Now if we could dispense with the drama, could you please walk over to me?'

'You have not begun to see drama,' I warned, giving him a look that should have singed off his eyebrows. 'I consider this harassment of the purest form, and I will have no qualms whatsoever about lodging a complaint with the police about you if you do not cease with this ridiculous persecution!'

Terrin laughed, genuine amusement in his face. 'The police? They have no jurisdiction over me, at least not the mortal sort. Please, time is passing quickly. If you could just walk over to me, we will both be free to go about our respective ways.'

'You are insane if you think I'm going to walk anywhere near you,' I told him, glancing at the floor. 'Not that I believe your little optical tricks.'

The amusement in his eyes deepened. 'I see. You don't believe that I have made the floor disappear?'

'Absolutely not. This is nothing more than an illusion. It's done with lights and mirrors, or holograms, or some other sort of sophisticated projection.'

'An interesting supposition. Would you care to prove it?' he asked, holding out a hand for me.

I glanced nervously from his hand to the floor. I knew, I knew that the floor hadn't disappeared into nothing despite the apparently yawning chasm in front of me. It was physically impossible. Thus, what I was seeing had to be an illusion. And if it was an illusion, then it was perfectly safe for me to walk across the floor.

At least, that's what I told myself. My legs refused to move, however.

A little bell jangled over the door to the street, heralding the arrival of someone…someone tall, dark, and incredibly handsome, someone whose mere presence had me grinding my teeth.

'What have you done with Sarah?' I asked before Theo was fully into the reception area. He stopped as soon as he stepped over the threshold, two tiles suddenly appearing beneath his feet. He glanced down at the apparently missing floor, then over to me. 'I see the trial has begun.'

'Ahhh,' Terrin said, giving Theo a shuttered look. 'Now I remember. You are the one who has been petitioning the Court for the last two hundred years.'

Theo made a small bow. 'Two hundred and twelve, to be precise.'

'Indeed. And you are also now a champion?' Terrin looked thoughtful.

'Yes.' Theo shot me a quick look.

'That might just do it, you know,' Terrin told him. 'Hasn't been done in a few centuries, but there is precedent.'

I mustered up as much of a glare as I could, given the odd circumstances. 'Where is Sarah? What have you done with her? And don't tell me you haven't seen her; she drove off to find you, and she's very single-minded when she wants to be.'

'She went back to her room. She wished to see the trial, but I told her that you would no doubt prefer to conduct the trial without an audience.' Theo's gaze swept around the room. 'Unusual spot you chose to have it.'

'I didn't choose anything! You people keep hounding me wherever I go, and I'm getting sick and tired of it.' I carefully turned and waved my hands in the air to catch the attention of the police behind the glass walls. 'And I'm going to put a stop to it right here and now. Hey! Hello! Need help out here! Dangerous criminal and his buddy right here in your station!'

The police people paid no attention whatsoever to either my frantic arm-waving or shouts, not so much as a single person looking up to see what was going on in their reception area.

'Portia, they can't see or hear you. They can't see or hear any of us until the trial is over,' Theo said, holding out a hand for me. 'Walk over here and it will be over, and then I can explain to you what's going on.'

'Dream on,' I snapped, wondering if they'd drugged everyone in the police station. Maybe some sort of drug in the water cooler that made everyone unaware of what was going on around them?

'I'm afraid I'm going to have to put this down as a refusal,' Terrin said, pulling a small notebook out of his pocket. 'This will be the second trial you've failed, I believe. You know, of course, that if you fail a third you will be disqualified and your application denied?'

'What is it you want?' I asked Theo. 'Money? You won't get it, you know. I don't have any, and Sarah's husband is a lawyer who would grind you under his heel if you so much as thought about holding her for ransom.'

Theo dropped his hand. 'Is the floor here?'

'Yes, of course it's here,' I answered, avoiding looking directly at the abyss in front of me. I'm not afraid of heights per se, but they did make me a bit nervous. Even though I knew what I was seeing was an optical illusion, it was good enough to make my palms sweat.

'Then walk over here and prove that you believe what you are seeing is not real.'

I licked my lips, looking from him, to Terrin, to the floor. It's not real, I told myself. It's just an illusion, a very high-tech illusion, but an illusion nonetheless. Things like floors do not just disappear into nothing. If I march over there now, I will be able to prove to both of them that whatever their nefarious plan is, it won't work on me. I will laugh in their faces.

Despite my brave pep talk, my feet remained rooted to the two tiles.

'I'm sorry, I have no choice,' Terrin told both Theo and me. He made a few notes and gave me a sad look. 'I must mark this as a failure. I do hope you do better in your remaining trials, the third of which will commence tomorrow. Good afternoon to you both.'

He turned and walked out the door, each step he made causing the tiles to appear in front of him, slowly rippling out until the entire floor was once again visible. I nudged the newly reappeared tile in front of me with the toe of my shoe. It seemed perfectly normal, perfectly solid.

'Hello, can I be of help?' a policeman asked as he walked in from the back rooms. He set down a cup of coffee and peered inquiringly over the desk at us.

'I am Portia Harding. I filed a complaint for assault and kidnapping against this man,' I said, pointing at Theo. To my horror, my hand was shaking. 'If you could arrest him now, I'd would be eternally grateful.'

'Portia Harding?' The policeman frowned, seating himself in front of a computer. His fingers danced over the keys for a few seconds. 'I'm sorry, but I don't have a record of a complaint by you, Miss Harding. What is your assailant's name?'

'Theo North. Er…Theodore, I assume.'

'It's Theondre, actually,' Theo said, walking over to the counter. 'You will have to forgive Miss Harding. She has had a trying last few days, and is a bit confused at the moment.'

'I'm sorry,' the policeman said again, tapping away at the keyboard. 'I see no entry for a Theo or Theondre North.'