and helplessness. A memory I hadn't known existed turned Ivy's eyes into someone else's. Her fingers in my hair became foreign. In my thoughts, her body pressing into me became coated in the alien scent of angry, undead vampire bent on possession.
'No!' I screamed. Ivy's touch had sparked memories I hadn't known even existed. Fear electrified me, and I shoved her away. A burst of ley line energy swarmed out to find her, and I yanked it back, hunching over in agony as the force rolled under the skin of my palms, burning until I finally pushed it back into the line and let go.
My wrist hurt. A vampire had hurt me. I had been pinned against the wall. Someone had pinned me against the wall and…Oh, God. Someone had bitten me.
God help me, what had I almost done?
Panting, I pulled my head up to see Ivy slide down the cupboards across the kitchen to the floor. Her expression was unfocused, and she looked out of it.
I pressed against the fridge, holding my upper arm, with helpless tears flowing. Ivy lurched upright, her balance unsure. 'Rachel?' she whispered, hand outstretched as if dizzy.
'Someone bit me!' I burbled, the tears coming from nowhere. 'On my lip. Tried to…' Anguish coated my soul like black tar, and I sank to the floor. 'Kisten was dead,' I sobbed, knees coming to my chin as I sat against the fridge. How could I forget? 'He was…He was dead! The vampire who killed him…' I looked up, more scared than I'd ever been before. 'Ivy…His murderer bit me…so I couldn't fight.'
Ivy's expression was utterly empty. I stared at her, one hand clenching the opposite arm until it throbbed. God help me. I was bound. I was bound to Kisten's killer, and I'd never even known it. What else had I forgotten? What else was waiting in my thoughts to crush me?
Ivy moved, and I panicked. 'Stay there!' I said, heart jumping. 'Don't touch me!'
She froze as my reality fought with the lies I had told myself. My tongue ran over the inside of my mouth, fear rising anew as I found the tiny, almost nonexistent scar. I am bound. Someone bound me. Nausea rose high, and I felt like I was going to be sick.
'Rachel,' Ivy said, and my attention jerked to her. She was a vampire. I had fallen, and I'd never felt my face hit the dirt. Terror made me scrabble upright and move until I found a corner, hand on my neck to hide my blood from her. I had been bound. I belonged to someone.
Ivy's eyes were black at my fear. Chest rising and falling, she held her fists at her sides. 'Rachel, it's okay,' she said, her voice low and throaty. 'You haven't been bound. I could tell.'
She took a step forward, and I flung out a hand. 'Stop!'
'I can tell, damn it!' she shouted, then lowered her voice. 'I'm not going to bite you. Look at me. I'm not that vampire. Rachel, you are not bound.'
Fear spun liquid fibers through me like a spider's web, and I tried to control it. Beneath my fingers, my pulse hammered. It was just Ivy. But she took a step forward, and my will shattered.
'I said stop!' I shouted, pressing into the corner. She shook her head grimly as she took a slow, careful step forward.
'Stop! Stop, or I'll hurt you!' I demanded, almost hysterical. I had let go of the line, but I could find it. I could hurt her with it. I had tried to hurt Kisten's killer, and the vampire had bound me. Bound me so I would come crawling, begging to be bled. God help me, I was someone's shadow.
Ivy's hand shook and tears coursed down her perfect face as she reached out and set her fingers upon my shoulder. Her scent poured over me, and her touch reached deeper than my broken memory until it struck the core of my being. My terror dissolved like a filmy gauze. It was Ivy. It was just Ivy, not my unknown tormentor. She wasn't trying to kill me. It was just Ivy.
I started to cry. Huge racking sobs shook me. Kisten's murderer had bound me. They would crook their finger, and I would beg, writhe for it. I had fallen, and I never even saw the hole. I was so stupid. I had been playing with vampires. I thought I could keep myself safe, but it was all for nothing now. I hadn't wanted this, but it had happened.
'Rachel, you are not bound!' Ivy said, giving me a small shake. 'If you were I could smell it, I could tell. Kisten's killer might have tried, but it didn't take. I would sense it, if it did. Listen to me! You're okay!'
My breath caught, and I tried to stop crying. 'I'm not bound?' I said, tasting the salt of my tears as I looked up. 'Are you sure?' Please, God. Give me a second chance. I promise. I promise I'll be good.
There was a soft hush of sound as Ivy put her arms around me, pulling me into her and rocking me as if I were a child as we stood in our blue-lit kitchen. 'You are not bound,' Ivy whispered, and I wept tears of relief into her shoulder as I started to believe. 'But I'll find out who did this to you, and then I'll make that bastard beg for your forgiveness.'
I pinned everything on her soft gray-silk voice pulling me back from the brink. The surety and hot anger in her cut through my confusion. I wasn't alone. Ivy was going to help me. She said I wasn't bound. I had to believe that. Gratitude flowed, and every muscle seemed to relax. Ivy felt it and stopped rocking me.
Suddenly I realized I was standing in my kitchen with Ivy's arms around me. Her pull on my unclaimed scars was gone, and here I was, feeling her warmth, her strength, her determination to protect me. I looked up to find her brown eyes swimming, inches from mine. There was a shared pain in them, as if only now was I able to even begin to understand her.
I licked my lips, trying to figure out what I was feeling. 'Thank you,' I said, and her pupils widened in a flash. A shocking spark dove to my middle.
There was the clatter of pixy wings, and we both looked to the hallway as Jenks flew in.
'I'm sorry,' he gasped, struggling with a full vial. 'Am I too late?'
My gaze rose to the open charm cupboard, and then to the vial in Jenks's unsteady grip. From the front of the church came the sound of Keasley's voice raised in worry. 'Rachel? Are you okay?'
I reached out to stop him. 'Jenks, no!' I cried, guessing Keasley had primed the spell, but Ivy had looked up, and Jenks did a smart backflip.
Ivy got the potion full in the face. Her eyes went unfocused, and as smooth and sweet as fresh laundry snapping on a line, she dropped.
Scrambling, I caught her shoulders and eased her down. Jenks had swiped one of the pacification potions we were experimenting with. But she wasn't supposed to go unconscious. It was far too strong.
Jenks got between us, wings a blur as he hovered by her slack-featured face. Her new bite looked livid, and I thought of mine, feeling what might be shame for the first time. God, I couldn't do this anymore. I had risked everything. There had to be a better way.
'She's out. She's breathing,' Jenks said, and I took a relieved breath. Modifying charms was chancy at best, and I could have stopped Ivy's heart.
'It's too strong,' I said, glad none of it had hit me. 'She's not supposed to go unconscious.' Remembering Keasley, I stood to find him standing in the doorway, awkward and unsure in his thin brown pajamas. 'You okay?' I asked him.
'I'm not the one with the vamp bite,' he said, eyes on my neck, and I refused to cover it. 'Jenks said your roommate lost it.'
The memory of the last ten minutes smacked me, and I started to waver. I thought I had been bound to Kisten's killer. I had…I could have been bound to Kisten's killer. 'I don't feel so good,' I said, my blood dropping to my knees. Dizzy, I took a breath, my muscles going slack and my body starting to slip. I stared at the floor, numb.
'Ho there!' Keasley exclaimed, and then his thin arms were suddenly around me and he was struggling to get me to the floor without bending his knees.
'I'm okay,' I mumbled, clearly not as my legs went akimbo. 'I'm okay.' Blinking, I sat against the sink cabinets beside Ivy and dropped my head between my knees to keep from passing out. 'Jenks,' I breathed, and he was on the floor between my feet, looking up.
'She bit you!' he said, silver sparkles mixing with the spots of oblivion making a bid for my consciousness. 'I told you she wasn't ready. Why doesn't anyone listen to me!'
'Yeah, she bit me,' I said as things started to fall into place. 'I freaking wanted her to, and it's none of your damn business—you little winged liar.' His wings clattered in anger, but his words died in his throat when he saw my expression. He flew up, suddenly unsure, and I lifted my head, following him.
'Kisten's murderer bit me, too,' I said, and he paled, flying up to the counter and out of my reach. 'I
