Microserfs

Apple: better nerd toys

Microsoft: soccer field

Apple: sculpture garden

Microsoft: I-520

Apple: I-280

Microsoft: Intel

Apple: Motorola

Microsoft: average age: 31.2

Apple: average age: 31.9

Microsoft: gray Lexus

Apple: white Ford Explorer

Microsoft: not wild at creating new things but good on follow-through

Apple: good at creating new things but not wild on follow-through

Microsoft: no one ever gets fired

Apple: no one ever got fired... until the layoffs started

Microsoft: wacky titles on business cards

Apple: wacky titles on business cards

Microsoft: eerie, Logan’s Run-like atmosphere

Apple: eerie, Logan’s Run-like atmosphere

Microsoft: uneasy IBM symbiosis

Apple: uneasy IBM fusion

Microsoft: 13,200 employees

Apple: 14,500 employees

Microsoft: people hired in 1991-92 being shuffled around

Apple: people hired from colleges in 1988-89 being turfed

Microsoft: stock set to split

Apple: stock price at cash liquidation value of company; now's the time to buy!

Still no tour of the Apple facilities, I note.

* * *

Today was one of those days where it was warm if you were standing in the sunlight, but the moment you left it, you froze.

 * * *

I saw doves and I thought they were rocks, but they were asleep. My breath made them stir, and the rocks took flight, the earth exploding... and my only thought was that I wanted you to see them, too

The man from Whirlpool came to fix the washer today, and he found Black Widow spiders nesting underneath its broken engine, and he showed me the web, and I found myself thinking of catching you, biting you, spinning you within my limbs and setting you free

Don't tell me this isn't true.

Tell me you feel this fire.

Oxydol

Revell

makeover

throw cushion

binder paper

lipstick

WEDNESDAY

Down at the library, Mom made up a list of “deer-proof” plants for Ethan. She got it from Sunsets Western Garden Book. Mom loves Ethan. He’s a go-getter.

During lunch, as Ethan, Todd, and I drove in Karla’s Carp through the Carl’s Jr. drive- thru, Ethan gave us an inspirational chat. “Guys, the last thing we want,” he said, “is to seem to be hurting for money. Venture capitalists like to see stability first. Only then will they come in with cash.”

Todd expressed some disappointment that Oop! was, in fact, quite desperate for money, in spite of Michael’s and Susan’s infusions.

He replied, “Todd: fate hands you opportunities for a while, and if you don’t take them, Fate says to itself, ‘Oh I see — this person doesn’t like opportunities,’ and stops giving them to you.”

I notice that I had to pay for the Western Burgers and fries and diet Cokes.

“Think of money this way,” he went on, “take an initial sum and teach it to multiply itself, the way you copy-and-paste text to multiply it. Never think of money in terms of numbers. Only think of money in terms of other things. For example: two weeks of bug-checking equals a Y-class ticket to Boston. That sort of thing. If you think of money simply as numbers then you’re doomed.”

Ethan then fed a used Band-Aid from his index finger to a seagull squatted on a landscaped berm beside the road, and Todd and I lost our appetites. We gave Ethan our meals and dropped him off at his dermatologist’s office.

Melrose Place night. One hour of work-free bliss and catcalls as the six of us monopolize the living room TV. It’s better than the Academy Awards — and every week, too. Added bonus: 90210 as an hors d’oeuvre.

Susan noted tonight that the computers in Billy’s office aren’t connected to, or plugged into, anything. But this just made the show even better.

Todd chugged Snapples. He calls them “Workahol.”

We all made fun of the commercial for Mentos mints, saying “Mentos” all night with a goofy European accent. “Mentos” It’s so dumb.

This is embarrassing to admit, but I still don’t really know what Dad does for Michael. I am amazed that I can be this clueless, but all either of them will say is that he’s working on our final corporate space in downtown Palo Alto. But can we afford this? I thought we were hurting for money. I am going to try and sleuth out what he’s doing. Whatever it is, it’s totally sucked up all of his model train-making energy. He doesn’t go near the garage anymore.

I told Karla what Ethan said at lunch, about teaching money to multiply itself. She said Ethan’s talking “bollocks.” I asked her what that word meant, and she said she wasn’t sure — it was a term from the punk rock era. “Something to do with anarchy and safety pins.” We’re going to e-mail someone in England and find out what it means.

THURSDAY

Today we were talking about the name of our corporation. It’s so boring — E&M Software. Obviously, that’s Ethan and Michael, and it is their company, but Michael said if we had a better idea we could change it. Since we haven’t shipped anything yet anyway.

Over the day, we wrote our suggestions on our code-blemished dry-erase wall. This is a really common thing down here: dry-erase boards covered in name suggestions. Here are some of our own:

“Cybo”