'I know,' I say.
'No regrets at having to leave?' the tall one asks.
'None.'
'Then let's get going.'
'Better not look behind you,' the brawny one says.
'Yeah, that's a good idea,' the tall one says.
And once again I set off through the forest.
Once, as we're hurrying up a slope, I do glance back. The soldiers warned me not to, but I couldn't help it. This is the last spot you can see the town from. Beyond it we'll be cut off by a wall of trees, and that world will vanish from my sight forever.
There still isn't a soul on the street. A beautiful stream runs through the hollow, small buildings line the street, the electric poles casting dark shadows on the ground. For a moment I'm frozen to the spot. I have to go back, no matter what. I could at least stay there until evening, when the young girl with the canvas bag will visit me. If you need me, I'll be there. I get a hot lump in my chest and a powerful magnet's pulling me back toward the town. My feet are buried in lead and won't budge. If I go on I'll never see her again. I come to a halt. I've lost all sense of time. I want to call out to the soldiers in front of me, I'm not going back, I'm staying. But no voice comes out. Words have no life in them.
I'm caught between one void and another. I have no idea what's right, what's wrong. I don't even know what I want anymore. I'm standing alone in the middle of a horrific sandstorm. I can't move, and can't even see my fingertips anymore. Sand as white as pulverized bones wraps me in its grip. But I hear her-Miss Saeki-speaking to me. 'No matter what, you have to go back,' she says decisively. 'It's what I want. For you to be there.'
The spell is broken, and I'm in one piece again. Warm blood returns to my body. The blood she gave me, the last drops of blood she had. The next instant I'm facing forward and following the soldiers. I turn a corner and that little world in the hills vanishes, swallowed up in dreams. Now I just focus on making it through the forest without getting lost. Not wandering from the path. That's what's important now, what I have to do.
The entrance is still open. There's still time until evening. I thank the two soldiers. They lay down their rifles and, like before, sit down on the large flat rock. The tall soldier's still chewing on a bit of grass. They're not out of breath at all after our breathless rush through the woods.
'Don't forget what I told you about bayonets,' the tall soldier says. 'When you stab the enemy, you've got to twist and slash, to cut his guts open. Otherwise he'll do it to you. That's the way the world is outside.'
'That's not all there is, though,' the brawny one says.
'No, of course not,' the tall one replies, and clears his throat. 'I'm just talking about the dark side of things.'
'It's also real hard to tell right from wrong,' the brawny one says.
'But it's something you've got to do,' the tall one adds.
'Most likely,' the brawny one says.
'One more thing,' the tall one says. 'Once you leave here, don't ever look back until you reach your destination. Not even once, do you understand?'
'This is important,' the brawny one adds.
'Somehow you made it through back there,' the tall one says, 'but this time it's serious. Until you get to where you're going, don't ever look back.'
'Ever,' the brawny one says.
'I understand,' I tell them. I thank them again and say good-bye.
The two of them come to attention and salute. I'll never see them again. I know that. And they know that. And knowing this, we say farewell.
I don't recall much of how I got back to Oshima's cabin after leaving the soldiers. As I made my way through the thick forest my mind must have been elsewhere. Amazingly, I didn't get lost. I have a vague memory of spotting the daypack I'd thrown away and, without thinking, picking it up. Same with the compass, the hatchet, the can of spray paint. I remember seeing the yellow marks I'd sprayed on tree trunks, like scales left behind by some giant moth.
I stand in the clearing in front of the cabin and gaze up at the sky. The world around me is suddenly filled with brilliant sounds-birds chirping, water gurgling down the stream, wind rustling the leaves. All faint, but to me it's like corks have been pulled from my ears and now everything sounds so alive, so warm, so close. Everything's mixed together, but still I can make out each individual sound. I look down at the watch on my wrist, and it's working again. Digital numbers flash on the green screen, changing each minute like nothing had ever happened. It's 4:16.
I go into the cabin and lie down on the bed in my clothes. I'm exhausted. I lie there on my back and close my eyes. A bee is resting above the window. The girl's arms glisten in the sunlight like porcelain. 'An example,' she says.
'Look at the painting,' Miss Saeki says. 'Just like I did.'
White sands of time slip through the girl's slim fingers. Waves crash softly against the shore. They rise up, fall, and break. Rise up, fall, and break. And my consciousness is sucked into a dim, dark corridor.
Chapter 48
Gimme a break,' Hoshino repeated.
Nothing's about to break here, Mr. Hoshino,' the black cat said wearily. The cat had a large face and looked old. 'I figured you were bored all by yourself. Talking to a stone all day.'
'But how can you speak human language?'
'I can't.'
'I don't get it. How are we able to carry on a conversation like this? A human and a cat?'
'We're on the border of this world, speaking a common language. That's all.'
Hoshino gave this some thought. 'The border of the world? A common language?'
'It's all right if you don't understand. I could explain, but it's a long story,' the cat said, giving a couple of short, dismissive flips of its tail.
'Wait a sec!' Hoshino said. 'You're Colonel Sanders, aren't you?'
'Colonel who?' the cat said sullenly. 'I don't know who you're talking about. I'm me, and nobody else. Just your friendly neighborhood cat.'
'Do you have a name?'
'Sure I do.'
'What is it?'
'Toro,' the cat replied hesitantly.
'Toro?' Hoshino repeated. 'Like the real expensive part of tuna, you mean?'
'Correct,' the cat replied. 'The local sushi chef owns me. They have a dog, too. They call him Tekka. Tuna Roll.'
'Do you know my name, then?'
'You're pretty famous, Mr. Hoshino,' Toro replied, and smiled.
Hoshino had never seen a cat smile before. The smile quickly faded, though, and the cat went back to its usual docile expression.
'Cats know everything,' Toro said. 'I know that Mr. Nakata died yesterday, and that there's a valuable stone over there. I've lived a long life and know everything that's happened around here.'
'Hmm,' Hoshino murmured, impressed. 'Hey, instead of us just shooting the breeze out here, why don't you come inside, Toro?'
Lying on the railing, the cat shook its head. 'No, I'm fine here. I wouldn't be able to relax inside. Besides, it's a nice day out, so why don't we just talk here?'
'Fine by me,' Hoshino said. 'Say, are you hungry? I'm sure we have something to eat.'
Again the cat shook his head. 'Thanks, but I'm all set for food. In fact, keeping my weight down's more of a
