“Here,’ he said, handing her the cotton trousers and shirt. “You can change in the bedroom upstairs. There’s a bathroom and towel up there too if you want to shower.”
She thanked him with a smile and went upstairs, feeling his eyes on her as she walked. She entered the bedroom and closed the door, then set the trousers and shirt on his bed and peeled everything off. Naked, she went to his closet and found a hanger, put her dress, bra and panties on it, and then went to hang it in the bathroom so it wouldn’t drip on the hardwood floor. She felt a secret thrill at being naked in the same room he slept in.
She didn’t want to shower after being in the rain. She liked the soft feeling on her skin. She slipped on his clothes before looking at herself in the mirror. The trousers were big, but tucking in the shin helped, and she rolled up the bottoms just a little so they wouldn’t drag. The neck was torn a little, but she liked the way it looked on her anyway. She pulled the sleeves up almost to the elbows, went to the chest of drawers and slipped on some socks, then went to the bathroom to find a hairbrush.
She brushed her wet hair just enough to get out the tangles, letting it rest on her shoulders. Looking in the mirror, she wished she had brought a clasp or a couple of hairpins. And a little more mascara. Her eyes still had a little of what she’d put on earlier, and she touched up with a flannel, doing the best she could.
When she was finished, she checked herself in the mirror, feeling pretty despite everything, and went back downstairs.
Noah was in the living room squatting before a fire, doing his best to coax it to life. He didn’t see her come in, and she watched him as he worked. He had changed his clothes as well and looked good: his shoulders broad, wet hair hanging just over his collar.
He poked the fire, moving the logs, and added some more kindling. Allie leaned against the doorjamb, one leg crossed over the other, and continued to watch him. In a few minutes the fire had turned to flames, even and steady. He turned to the side to straighten the remaining unused logs and caught a glimpse of her out of the corner of his eye. He looked up quickly.
Even in his clothes she looked beautiful. After a moment he shyly went back to stacking the logs.
“I didn’t hear you come in.” he said, trying to sound casual. “How long have you been standing there?”
“A couple of minutes.”
Noah brushed his hands on his jeans, then pointed to the kitchen. “Can I get you some tea? I started the water while you were upstairs.” Small talk, anything to keep his mind clear. But damn, the way she looked…
She thought for a second. Do you have anything stronger, or is it too early to drink?”
He smiled. “I have some bourbon in the pantry. Is that okay?”
“That sounds great.”
He started towards the kitchen, and Allie watched him run his hand through his wet hair as he disappeared.
Thunder boomed loudly and another downpour started. Allie could hear the roaring of the rain on the roof, could hear the snapping of lop as the flickering flames lit the room. She took a quilt from the sofa and sat on the rug in front of the fire. Crossing her legs, she adjusted the quilt until she was comfortable and watched the dancing flames. Noah came back, saw what she had done, and went to sit beside her. He put down two glasses and poured some bourbon into each of them. Outside, the sky grew darker. Thunder again. Loud. The storm in full fury, winds whipping the rain in circles.
“It’s quite a storm,” Noah said as he watched the drops flow in vertical streams on the windows. He and Allie were close now, though not touching, and Noah watched her chest rise slightly with every breath, imagining the feel of her body once again before fighting back the thought
“I like it,” she said, taking a sip. “I’ve always liked thunderstorms. Even as a young girl.”
“Why?” Saying anything, keeping his balance.
“I don’t know. They just always seemed romantic to me.”
She was quiet for a moment, and Noah watched the fire flicker in her emerald eyes. Then she said, “Do you remember sitting together and watching the storm a few nights before I left?”
“Of course.”
“I used to think about it all the time after I went home. I always thought about how you looked that night. It was the way I remembered you.”
“Have I changed much?”
She took another sip of bourbon, feeling it warm her. She touched his hand as she answered.
“Not really. Not in the things that I remember. You’re older, of course, with more life behind you, but you’ve still got the same gleam in your eye. You still read poetry and float on rivers. And you’ve still got a gentleness that not even the war could take away.”
He thought about what she’d said and felt her hand lingering on his, her thumb tracing slow circles.
“Allie, you asked me earlier what I remembered most about the summer. What do you remember?”
It was a while before she answered. 'I remember making love. That's what I remember most. You were my first, and it was more wonderful than I ever thought it would be.'
Noah took a drink of bourbon, remembering, bringing back the old feelings.
She went on. 'I remember being so afraid beforehand that I was trembling, but at the same time being so excited. I'm glad you were the first. I'm glad we were able to share that.'
'Me too.'
'Were you as afraid as I was?'
Noah nodded without speaking, and she smiled at his honesty.
She squeezed his hand, let go, and moved closer. She put her hand through his arm, cradling it, and rested her head on his shoulder. He could smell her, soft like the rain, warm. She spoke quietly. 'Do you remember walking home after the festival? I asked you if you wanted to see me again. You just nodded your head and didn't say a word. It wasn’t too convincing.'
'I'd never met anyone like you. I didn't know what to say.'
'I know. You could never hide anything. Your eyes always gave you away. You had the most wonderful eyes I'd ever seen.' She lifted her head from his shoulder and looked directly at him. When she spoke, her voice was barely above a whisper. 'I think I loved you more that summer than I ever loved anyone.'
Lightning flashed again. In the quiet moments before the thunder, their eyes met as they tried to undo fourteen years. When the thunder finally sounded, Noah sighed and turned from her, towards the windows.
'I wish you could have read the letters I wrote you,' he said.
She didn't speak for a while.
'It wasn't just up to you, Noah. I didn’t tell you, but I wrote you a dozen letters after I got home. I just never sent them.'
'Why?' Noah was surprised.
'I guess I was too afraid.'
'Of what?'
'That maybe it wasn’t as real as I thought it was. That maybe you forgot me.'
'I would never do that. I couldn't even think it.'
'I know that now. I can see it when I took at you. But back then it was different. There was so much I didn't understand, things that a young girl's mind couldn't sort out.'
'What do you mean?”
'When your letters never came, I didn't know what to think. I remember talking to my best friend about that summer, and she said that you had got what you wanted, and that she wasn't surprised that you wouldn't write. I didn't believe that you were that way, I never did, but hearing it and thinking about all our differences made me wonder if maybe the summer meant more to me than it had meant to you…”
Noah looked away and she continued. 'In time, the hurt began to fade and it was easier to just let it go. At least I thought it was. But in every boy I met in the next few years I found myself looking for you, and when the feelings got too strong I'd write you another letter. But I never sent them for fear of what I might find. By then you'd gone on with your life and I didn't want to think about you loving-someone else. I wanted to remember us like we were that summer.'
'You're better than I remembered, Allie.'
'You're sweet, Noah.'
