amass the fortune necessary to fund a galleon to sail to the New World in search of Jenny. But once Meg had told him that was Dee’s destination, he knew he could trick the Crown or the School of Night into giving him what he needed. And so he had let the alchemist go, knowing full well that the old man could have fallen into the Unseelie Court’s hands and everything he held dear been washed away in a tide of blood. All for Jenny.
‘You have always been a gambler, Swyfte, with your own life and with others’. That recklessness will be your downfall.’ Though the tone of his voice was accusatory Dee’s look was not unkind.
‘My life was blown off course that day – the day the person I cared for more than any other disappeared,’ the spy replied, looking to the far horizon. ‘I have made do as best I can, but not a day has passed when I have not thought of her. I am trapped in a maze where my mind keeps me in one place, and I would be free of it. What happened to her that day? Why was she chosen, and not me? Has she suffered? Has she endured—’ The words caught in his throat. ‘These questions haunt me.’
Dee snorted. ‘You speak as if these things matter.’
Will’s head whipped round. ‘They matter to me.’
The old man swept out an arm to indicate the sea and the island. ‘All this is illusion, this world, a stage on which we play out parts assigned to us. We wallow in the mundane detail of our life, all the petty hardships and the struggles that occupy our every waking moment, and we lose ourselves in them. They take on an import that far exceeds their worth. They are a distraction, no more, and we are complicit in allowing ourselves to be distracted because those things, however hard, are easier to comprehend than the greater questions that hang over us. Who plays the fiddle and pipes, and why must we be forced to dance? The answers we seek are here, but they are hidden amongst the illusion, in the smallest detail.’ He snatched up a handful of sand and let the grains trail out of his clenched fist. ‘We only have to sift and look and pull the jewels from the mud.’
‘And yet these things you dismiss so easily cause us so much pain. That cannot be discounted so readily, doctor. Though all be illusion, we still hurt.’
Dee smiled. ‘Perhaps that is one of the jewels. When you hurt, you are forced to look more closely. The mundane details . . .’ he snapped his fingers, ‘dissolve.’
‘Perhaps.’ Will turned his face to the sun, enjoying the unfamiliar warmth on his skin. ‘But I know this, doctor. When you look away from that mortal suffering, you become inured to it, and thereby allow it to endure. Indeed, if there is no substance to it, only one further step is needed to perpetrate that hurt, for it is like the mist, insubstantial and soon gone.’ He waved his fingers in front of him. ‘There are dangers in thinking too much and removing yourself from human concerns, doctor.’
‘And you feel too much,’ the alchemist snapped before catching himself. ‘Perhaps the true path lies somewhere between, I give you that. I am not blind to my many and varied flaws, Master Swyfte, though you think me as hard-hearted as the rocks of that reef.’
‘I know the true nature of the Mooncalf.’ Will found himself unable to keep the cold tone from his voice.
After a long moment, Dee replied, ‘In my defence, I can only say that I was in the throes of my self-inflicted madness.’
‘You destroyed a man’s life to provide yourself with a guardian.’
The alchemist sighed. ‘You know as well as I that this business makes monsters of all of us. We each do things we never dreamed of in the days of our youth. You say I am too distracted by scholarly pursuits, but I have devoted my life to this long battle with the Unseelie Court, to keep men safe and dreaming sweet dreams in their beds at night. I have sacrificed my youth, driven an ache deep into my bones and shattered my mind. Sometimes we are forced to do terrible things to prevent even greater atrocities. Should one man suffer to prevent the deaths of a hundred? A thousand? These are questions we should not have to ask ourselves. Most men can hide away and pretend such dilemmas do not exist, or turn up their noses and pass judgement upon those forced to make sacrifices to keep the realm secure. We are faced with the harsh reality every day, and we cannot flinch from its glare.’
When they reached the end of the beach, Will perched on the rocks where he had peered into the devil’s looking glass the previous night. He felt a troubling confusion. ‘Not too long ago, I might have agreed with you, doctor. But now I wonder if we should hold ourselves to a higher standard. The question you ask – should one man die to save a hundred? – is too simple. There is comfort in making the choice so easy, but good men should always suffer to uncover the more challenging but truer course.’
With the toe of his shoe, Dee flicked a green-shelled scuttling crab into a rock pool. ‘And I am not a good man, is that what you say? There is some truth in that. I was certainly a fool for losing myself in intellectual pursuit and failing to see that the angels with whom I thought I communed were in fact the Unseelie Court. How they must have laughed at my arrogance. Dr Dee, who thought he of all men had the power to speak with Heaven’s messengers. How easy it was to expose my weakness and then play a game to try to twist me to their ends.’
‘You were not unprepared, though.’
Dee smiled, rubbing his hands together. ‘I knew the Fay would come for me at some point, just not in that way. Long ago, I built defences deep inside me that would come into play should they ever try to seize control of my wits. Madness would consume me and I would flee England to a place where the Unseelie Court could not find me and use me against the Queen and Albion.’
Will came to a halt, in awe of what the alchemist had done. ‘Why here, so close to their home?’
‘Because if all seemed lost, I would allow them to take me into their midst and thereby destroy them.’ Dee stretched his arms wide as if rising from a deep sleep.
The spy’s ears pricked up. ‘How so?’
‘By denying them access to our world and trapping them in their own miserable land.’
‘But it is a place of wonder.’
‘So they say.’ Dee laughed. He waved his arm across the sunlit view. ‘More wonderful than our own home? Why, then, do those fiends sweat blood to take our green fields from us? No, there are more wonders here than you realize, and all the secrets the Unseelie Court need to understand their own forlorn existence. They are lost, Master Swyfte, and sometimes I believe more lost than us.’ He folded his arms, nodding to himself. ‘The “angels” told me of a beacon that keeps open the way between our worlds—’
‘The Tower of the Moon,’ Will interjected, recalling what he had learned from his conversation with the Faerie Queen.
The alchemist eyed him askance. ‘You are better informed than you appear, Master Swyfte. Yes, the Tower of the Moon. I would bring it crashing down and seal them in their dismal land for ever.’
‘And you with it?’
Dee shrugged. ‘A small price to pay.’
‘You are a courageous man.’ Will shielded his eyes from the sun as he looked out across the azure sea.
‘I am a fool and never you forget it. Only one thing troubles me now: the devil’s looking glass. Tell me you were not such a simpleton as to bring it here.’
‘I left it in your chamber at the Palace of Whitehall,’ Will lied. So Dee would not see his face, he ducked down to pick up a pebble.
‘At least some sense resides in that thick head of yours. I have spent my life keeping that mirror out of the Fay’s hands.’ His face darkened. ‘So much power resides in that thing it could change the course of this war in the blink of an eye.’
‘You have mastered it?’ Will asked. He threw the pebble out into the crashing waves.
‘I have heard tales,’ Dee mumbled, clearly knowing more than he was saying. ‘It keeps its secrets well. But the Unseelie Court could unlock it. Never must it be allowed to travel anywhere near those pale-skinned bastards.’
Will swallowed his guilt. Another gamble, worse by far than all the others. Yet the mirror was his only link with Jenny and he could no more give it up than his own life.
Reflecting on what he had learned, he lowered his eyes to watch the crab take shelter in a crevice in the rock pool. ‘It is so easy to hate our eternal Enemy for the miseries they have inflicted upon us – upon me, and Jenny. The Unseelie Court think us the wicked ones in this game. And there are many times when I am inclined to agree.’ He furrowed his brow, his voice reflective. ‘We have committed some terrible crimes in pursuit of victory, doctor. Yet, what a mess this business is. How simple it all seemed when we thought we were on the side of the angels, fighting devils. Now we know there are devils masquerading as angels on both sides.’
Further down the shore, a longboat pulled up and two sailors clambered out and splashed into the surf. They
