him those words in a long time, though Lester said them daily.
Lester released her and reared back, feigning astonishment. “Baby, you’re s’posed to say I love you, too, Lester.”
Ruth Ann closed her eyes. “You know I do.”
“It would be nice to hear you say it every now and again, you know. I hate to whine, but it would really be nice to hear you say it.”
Ruth Ann opened her eyes and studied the window curtains. Priscillas, gray trim. She remembered the day she bought them and hung them up.
“Watch my lips,” Lester said.
Lester touched his lips, actually put a finger on the mark, the mark that couldn’t be washed off, a permanent reminder of his idiocy, his stupidity, his infidelity. “Come on, honey, watch my lips.”
“I… love… you… Lester,” he said.
“You and I together. I… love… you.”
Ruth Ann mouthed the words.
“A little louder,” Lester insisted. “I… love… you.”
“I love you,” she said, a whisper.
“Was that so hard?”
“Give me a kiss, honey,” Lester said, puckering his lips.
Will this madness never end? she wondered, staring at his mouth, which now looked like an atrophied cow teat. She sat up and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. “I’m sorry, Lester, I haven’t brushed my teeth. Give me a minute.”
Inside the bathroom she locked the door, sat fully clothed on the commode, covered her mouth with both hands and sobbed, not certain for whom she was crying. Her daddy? Shane? Lester?
There was a knock on the door. “Ruthie?” Lester said.
She grunted in response.
“You okay?”
“Uh-huh.”
She didn’t love Lester. He was a good man, she couldn’t deny that. He loved her, truly loved her, and practically bent over backward attempting to make her happy. Still, she did not love him. Yet she needed him.
What made the situation so unfair, so damn frustrating: she needed him. Holding my breath in an out-house, she thought, desperately needing oxygen but can’t stomach the smell.
If not for that damn mark, she thought as she dabbed her eyes with tissue, I possibly could love him. She stood up and flushed the toilet, and then a thought hit her: once she got her share of the money she wouldn’t need Lester. She wouldn’t need him at all; she would be able to take care of herself, and even if she lost her house, she would have enough money to buy another one.
The first time that day she smiled, thinking everything might work out. Lester, after a fashion, would find someone else, forget all about her. And she—her smile turned into a grin—would be free to find a man whom she could love, a man who wouldn’t foolishly burn his mouth.
She opened the door, and Lester stood there in the hallway.
“You okay?”
She nodded, avoiding his eyes.
“Come on,” taking her hand. “You need some rest.”
He led her to the bedroom and she lay down.
“Where’s Teddy?” she asked him.
Lester retrieved Teddy from the floor. “Here he is. Get some rest, Ruthie.” He sat on the edge of the bed looking at her.
As if reading her mind, Lester said, “Ruthie, before I go, may I have a hug?”
“Yes, Lester,” and didn’t move. Lester sat there, no doubt waiting for her to reach up and hug him.
Lester leaned down and hugged her. Ruth Ann held her breath. He continued hugging her as her arms lay to her sides. She groaned softly, to cue him enough was enough.
“I love you,” Lester whispered.
Another groan, much louder, and Lester started kissing her neck. Ruth Ann squirmed… and groaned again. Lester’s heartbeat thumped against her chest.
“I love you, Ruthie,” kissing her clavicle… chest… She groaned again. Lester pushed her shirt lapel away with his chin and started kissing her breast.
She heard his breathing turn into a pant and realized Lester was mistaking her groans for pleasure.
“Lester!” attempting to push him off.
He ignored her and started sucking her breast so hard it hurt.
“Lester! Lester!” His hand sought entrance inside her pants. “Lester!” Again she tried to push him off, but he was too heavy. “Lester!”
Lester stopped to unzip his pants, and Ruth Ann rolled onto her stomach. He hopped onto her and started humping so enthusiastically she heard one of the slats snap.
“Lester!” clawing her way to the edge of the bed… and they both fell to the floor.
Ruth Ann jumped to her feet and watched Lester hump the floor, his eyes closed, completely unaware he had no partner.
“Lester! What the hell are you doing?”
Mid-hump, Lester turned to her, an astonished look on his face, wondering how she’d gotten away from him.
“Hello! What the hell are you doing?”
Lester got to his feet. “I-I’m sorry, Ruthie, I got carried away.”
Shaking her head in disgust at his exposed erection: “Damn right you did!”
“I’m sorry, Ruthie.” He tucked away his organ and zipped up. “Honey, it has been a long time. Seven weeks and five days, to be exact. That’s a long time, a very long time.”
“What! What!” Ruth Ann shouted. “So we’re counting days now? Is that what we’re doing, Lester? Keeping track of our sex life?”
“No, honey, I’m not keeping track. I just, you know, noticed on the calendar.”
“I can’t believe you! How many hours has it been? You’ve calculated the number of weeks and days, tell me the number of hours. I can’t believe you! My father was murdered, hasn’t been in the ground three days and you have the gall to throw sex in my face now.
Lester scratched his forehead. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what come over me. Forgive me, Ruthie.” He reached to take her hand and she snatched it away.
“Don’t start that shit again!”
“I’m going outside, sit on the porch for a spell. If you need something, just call me.”
Ruth Ann cut him a look. “Yes, why don’t you do that!”
Lester closed the bedroom door behind him, and Ruth Ann wondered had it really been that long since she and Lester had had sex.
A few hours later she awoke with a scream, “Noooo!” Looking about the room she realized she was safe in her bed. Shirley wasn’t chasing her down an alleyway, swinging an ax at her head.
