“I still would like to know,” Estafay shouted, “why Sheriff Bledsoe cut you slack. What did you do? I pray for your sake it wasn’t anything nasty.”
“That’s it!” Robert Earl shouted. “I’m calling Momma.” He went to the phone in the living room and called his mother.
Leonard picked up on the third ring. “Harris residence.”
“Let me speak to Momma.”
“What’s the matter, Robert Earl?”
“Put Momma on the phone, will you?” Waiting for his mother to pick up he thought about Albert.
“Hello,” Ida said.
“Momma, you need to come get Shirley. She’s over here begging me for a gun.”
“Lord have mercy! Why?”
“She said she’s going to bust a cap in Ruth Ann’s butt for something or another.” He heard a thud on the other end. “Estafay is bothering me, too.”
Leonard: “Robert Earl, what the hell did you say to Mother? She just fainted!”
“Wake her up.” The line went dead. He returned to the kitchen. “Estafay, Shirley, Momma said for y’all to leave me alone and stop pestering me.”
“Please, Robert Earl!” Shirley said. “Grow up! What kind of man calls his momma to defend him?”
“A man like me.”
“Hmmph. She ain’t my momma,” Estafay said. “She oughta tend to her own heathens before she tell me anything.”
Shirley studied Estafay. “What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean.”
“No, I don’t. Explain it to me.”
Estafay moved closer to Robert Earl. “You know, remove the heathen from thy own house before you try to influence a child of God in her own.”
“What?” Shirley said. “I think you hide behind your so-called religion. ‘Remove the heathen from thy own house.’ Sounds like a sly way of putting my family down. What you think, Robert Earl? Is it an insult, or what?”
Robert Earl shifted from foot to foot, stuck a finger in his ear and dug furiously. “Uh… you know… uh…” casting nervous glances at Estafay. “Kinda, sorta, if you think about it, in a way it does sound like an insult.”
“You damn right it does!” Shirley said. “My momma didn’t raise heathens, Estafay! You picked a bad time to tell me she did. A very bad time!” Shirley stood up, her chair falling to the floor. “I strongly suggest you take the shit back!”
Estafay moved directly behind Robert Earl. “Robert, tell your sister it’s time she leave.”
Shirley pointed a finger at her. “You tell me! You tell me to leave! You big and bad enough to call my family heathens to my face, you tell me to leave your house!”
“Robert,” Estafay whispered, “feel free to step in anytime.”
Robert Earl stared at the hulking figure dressed in navy-blue culottes and realized he had a tough decision to make: attempt to protect his wife’s honor, get his butt whooped and a trip to the hospital via Emergency Medical Transport; or jump out of the way and let Estafay go for what she know, and then have her berate him for weeks for not intervening on her behalf?
Shirley advanced, fists clenched. Robert Earl, now convinced that weeks of Estafay berating him wouldn’t hurt so much, tried to move out of the way… Estafay moved when he moved.
“Estafay,” looking at her naked wrist as if a watch was there, “I’m waiting, and I have yet to hear you take back anything. Ten… nine…”
“Robert, do something!” Estafay pleaded. “Say something!”
“Take it back, Estafay,” Robert Earl said. “It’ll save us a lot of medical expenses.”
“…seven… six…”
“Robert, this is my house!”
“…four…”
“I will not be threatened inside my own home!”
“…two…”
Just then Ida and Leonard rushed into the kitchen. “Shirley!” Ida shouted. “What the hell are you doing?”
“I’m fixin’ to put a foot up Estafay’s ass!”
“Estafay?” Leonard said. “I thought you were upset with Ruth Ann?”
“You need to leave,” Robert Earl told Leonard. “Now!”
“He’s with me,” Ida said.
“Momma, you can stay,” Robert Earl said. “No man who chokes me is welcome in my house. He can wait outside.”
“Momma,” Shirley said, “Estafay called your children heathens to my face. You want a piece of her sanctified ass?”
Robert Earl said, “Two against one ain’t fair. Y’all let Estafay call one of her church friends and make it even.”
“Boy, be quiet!” Ida said. “Shirley, stop talking foolish. You’re a grown woman—act like it!” She frowned at Ida. “As for you, my children might not be a religious bunch, but they’re not heathens.”
“Mrs. Harris, I didn’t mean any disrespect,” Estafay said.
“Yes, you did!” Shirley said.
“Robert Earl,” Ida said, “can’t you control your home? Why are you putting up with this foolishness? Boy, take charge of your home!”
“I tried to Momma. They—”
“No, you didn’t!” Shirley said. “You let Estafay talk about your family.”
“Be quiet, Shirley,” Ida said. “This isn’t your house. What’s gotten into you? If you don’t like what somebody says about you in their house, go home! And what’s this mess you needing a gun?”
Robert Earl said, “How the whole thing got started.”
“Why you need a gun, Shirley?” Leonard asked.
Shirley stared at the floor, then met her mother’s eyes. “Sorry, Momma, I’m popping a cap in Ruth Ann’s slimy ass.”
“Why?” Ida shouted. “Why? She’s your sister.”
Tears rolled down Shirley’s face. “Momma, she’s been fooling with my husband.”
Ida moaned, stumbled to a chair and sat down. She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. “Jesus… Jesus! Help me, Jesus!”
Leonard said, “Shirley, I didn’t know you and Eric were married.”
“We were going to get married soon.”
“Are you sure about this? Have you talked to Ruth Ann?”
“I went to her house and she jumped out the window and ran. I can’t catch her on foot. I need something to shorten the distance.”
Ida moaned again.
“She’s your sister,” Leonard said. “Remember?”
Shirley shook her head. “Leonard, did she remember she was my sister when she slept with my baby’s daddy? Hell no, she didn’t! Ruth Ann doesn’t give a damn about nobody but Ruth Ann. As of today she’s no longer my sister. She’s nothing to me… just another…” She caught herself.
Ida started crying.
“Momma, I’m not gonna kill her. I’ll just give her a disability. She broke up my home, Momma.”
“Jesus, Jesus!” Ida wailed. “I kilt my husband and now these heathens trying to kill each other. Take me, Jesus! I want to be with my husband!”
“Did you really kill him, Momma?” Robert Earl asked. “If you did you might as well ‘fess up to the authorities.”
“Shut up, Robert Earl!” Leonard shouted.
