Family Thang

Brutini suit and a black Bentley shoe on his right foot. The left pant was folded up below the knee and held in place by a safety pin.

He took his place in front of Reverend Jones, the pastor of Greater Paradise Church. Robert Earl, in a brown three-piece corduroy suit, the seat stitched with pink thread, stood to his left, looking uncomfortable. A petite young woman walked up front and started singing Let’s Get Married.

The young woman put all she had into the song, eyes closed, shaking her head, arching her back on high notes, raising her hand to God, yet, Ruth Ann thought, she sounded like a wounded walrus.

Shane, wearing blue dress slacks, white shirt, blue tie and white tennis shoes, walked Shirley up the aisle.

Shirley looked absolutely stunning. A pearl tiara was inserted into a light-brown bun cascading wavy curls down her back. Light mascara, a touch of orange on her cheeks, a brush of candy-apple on her smiling lips. Rhinestone necklace. Navy blue satin gauntlets. In a navy blue satin, strapless gown with a beaded split front, she moved with the grace of a princess.

Ruth Ann stood up and took her picture.

“I can’t believe it!” said someone behind her.

Ruth Ann sat down and turned. “Believe what?” she asked, not sure which of the three women sitting behind her had made the remark.

The middle one, a young woman wearing a teal-green column dress, her head draped in patently ridiculous long braid extensions, said, “I can’t believe she’s marrying him.”

Ruth Ann couldn’t help herself. “Oh, and why can’t you?”

“He’s a dog,” the young woman whispered.

Ruth Ann turned her attention to the ceremony, and the woman touched her on the shoulder of her black lace-trimmed blouse.

“I know this for a fact. A one-legged dog now, but he’s still a dog.” Ruth Ann brushed the area where the woman had touched her. “He slept with her sister!”

“Which sister?” Ruth Ann whispered.

“Which sister! She only has one sister.”

“What does she look like?”

The woman started coughing: “Woof woof woof!”

It took a second for Ruth Ann to realize she wasn’t coughing.

“Woof woof woof!”

A damn dog!

Reverend Jones read Shirley and Eric the wedding vows, but Ruth Ann wasn’t listening, unnerved and pissed that the woman had slyly called her a dog.

She checked the impulse to whirl around and backslap the woman. Claaap! Teach the little tart to keep her mouth shut at social functions. Instead she turned, smiling, looked the woman straight in the eye.

“Hello. My name is Ruth Ann, Shirley’s sister. Your name?”

The tart’s mouth dropped, eyes going left to right, searching for an escape if things got ugly. “D-D-Darlene. Darlene Pryor.”

Ruth Ann turned face front and attempted to focus on the proceedings.

“Anyone here who have reasons that these two not be joined in holy matrimony?” Reverend Jones asked the congregation of fifty or so people.

Shirley looked over her shoulder directly at Ruth Ann, who smiled at her. Shirley smiled back.

“Speak now or forever hold your peace,” Reverend Jones said.

Ruth Ann again turned and smiled at Darlene. “Little girl, this is your opportunity to raise your hand, state your disapproval.” Darlene didn’t respond. “When you go home to yo momma, ask her if she knows someone literate to instruct you the rules of public etiquette.”

“You may kiss the bride,” Reverend Jones said, and Eric kissed Shirley, bending her backward.

“Ohhhh!” a collective sigh from the congregation.

Eric’s crutches fell to the floor and the kiss continued… and continued… and continued… and then Eric lost his balance and they both fell to the floor.

“Oh-oh!” someone said.

Shirley helped Eric to his feet, handed him his crutches and said, “Ain’t he something!”

The congregation laughed.

Eric said, “Give God the glory.”

Ruth Ann tossed a handful of rice in the air as Eric and Shirley came down the aisle. Shirley never looked happier. Halfway she remembered to toss the bouquet, and Darlene practically dove over two pews to catch it.

Won’t help one bit! Skinny tricks like her need more than a bouquet to land a husband. Without a father brandishing a shotgun or a lucky lotto number, she’s a spinster for life.

A few hours later, Ruth Ann sat on the steps of her mother’s porch. She didn’t attend the wedding reception held at the Rialto theater downtown. Didn’t feel up to it. She felt homesick and lonely.

She wondered what Lester was doing and resisted the urge to call him. What could she say?

Lester, I miss you, I miss my bed, my car, my life, and I’m sick and tired of staying at my mother’s house. May I please come home?

Sounded good and was very true, but Lester… What’s going on with him? He hadn’t once come by to check on her after the tragedy at the park.

Shirley invited him to her wedding and he neglected to attend. Does he have another woman? She shook her head. No way! She hadn’t been gone long. Three months isn’t long at all.

A truck stopped in front of the house and Robert Earl and Shane, still wearing their wedding clothes, got out and walked up to the porch.

“How was the reception?”

“We left early,” Robert Earl said. “I don’t like to eat with a man got one leg. Spoils my appetite.”

“Momma,” Shane said, “I’m going to work for Uncle Earl.”

Ruth Ann hadn’t got used to him calling her Momma. “Do what?”

“Work at my station,” Robert Earl said.

“What station?”

“The one I’m building.”

She looked from Robert Earl to Shane, who appeared excited by the proposition. “Robert Earl, Shane is seeing a therapist. I don’t think it’s a good idea filling his head with fantasies.”

Robert Earl smiled at her with his new dentures, as if she were senile. “She who has no confidence in her big brother is not welcome at Robert Earl and Shane’s Gas Station and Exotic Snake Farm.”

“Momma, you hear that? I’m a business partner. Ain’t that right, Uncle Earl?”

“Yes, indeed. Both our names will be in bright lights. I’ll be the CEO, the chief everyone obeys. Shane will be in charge of pumping gas, wiping windshields, keeping the place clean. The technical stuff.”

“Momma, can you believe it? I’ll be pumping gas.”

Ruth Ann sighed, disturbed that Robert Earl was falsely encouraging Shane. “Robert Earl, how you propose to do all this?”

“How you think? With money, of course.” He pulled out his wallet, attached to a silver chain, and took out a piece of paper. “Look at this.”

Ruth Ann reached for the paper and Robert Earl snatched it away.

“You look with your eyes, not your hands!” He unfolded the paper and waved it in front of her face.

She glimpsed the amount on a check. “Seventy-five thousand dollars!”

“Hush! Don’t tell the whole dang neighborhood. And close your mouth before a bug flies in it.”

“You mean they paid you? The insurance company paid after all what happened? I’m shocked.”

“You? You should’ve seen me when I first got the check.”

“Robert Earl, can I borrow a couple hundred?”