?Are you still planning to resign?? she asks softly.
When I don'?t answer, she says, ?Paul Labry must have mentioned your talk with him to someone before he died, because the rumor?s already spreading.?
?I know. Drew asked me about it when I called to borrow this boat.?
Caitlin steps backward and looks down expectantly. ?Well??
She?s waiting for me to say yes. Hoping for it. I can see that as plainly as the sun over the river. But from the moment Kelly gave me his Mark Twain speech on the bluff, I?'ve been questioning my decision. Surprisingly, my father gave me his blessing only a day after Kelly left. The two had evidently discussed my dilemma, and Dad was aware that my reluctance to disappoint him had already kept me in office longer than I might have stayed otherwise. He told me that, considering all that had happened, he wouldn'?t think less of me if I felt I had to step down. I don'?t know if he meant that, but he said it, and he said it knowing that if I resigned, I would probably move Annie to a new town far away. But yesterday, as I watched two black men in overalls lower Paul Labry?s casket into the earth not far
from Tim?s grave, I knew with utter certainty that if I resigned, I would think less of myself for the rest of my life.
?It would be wrong to quit now,? I say in a shaky voice. ?I wish that weren?t the case. But I made a commitment to the town. I made promises, and people believed me. If Paul were still alive, I might feel differently. But now?as badly as I want to go away with you, I don'?t feel I should leave the job in the hands of those most likely to get it.?
Caitlin?s eyes narrow for a few seconds, then she turns to her right, looking out over the water. She?s hiding tears.
?Was that a no??
Despite my best intentions, the truth emerges when I speak. ?No. No matter what it costs me, I can?t lose you again. I can?t do it.?
She raises a hand to her face and wipes her eyes. ?Then I'?ll stay.?
The words don'?t quite register at first. ?You don'?t mean that.?
She turns to face me, her green eyes wide and filled with resolve. ?I do. I'?ll stay until the end of your term. For two years, I'?ll use all my power to make this town worthy of Tim?s death, and of what you'?ve worked for. I'?ll fight to make it a place where I can feel good about Annie living and going to school.?
Blinking in disbelief, I feel the first rush of euphoria that comes with the knowledge that life is granting you the grace of a dream realized. ?Caitlin, you don'?t??
?Wait a second. I have one condition.?
?What? We leave town after my term is up??
Her face tightens with irritation. ?Would you let me talk??
?Sorry.?
Holding up two fingers, she gestures at me like the beautiful schoolteacher of some little boy?s dreams. ?After two years, we look hard at what we?ve accomplished, then reassess where we are.?
?Of course. Absolutely.?
?That wasn'?t my condition. That'?s a given.?
?Oh.?
She lowers her hand and squares her shoulders like a woman about to walk to the end of a very high diving platform. ?My condition is that you marry me.?
At first I think she?s joking, but I?'ve never seen her look more serious.
?Don?t fall down with joy,? she says.
?I'm shocked, that?s all. The way you'?ve been acting for the past few days??
?Penn, you?re the dumbest smart man I?'ve ever met. Annie needs a mother, not a girlfriend hanging around year after year.?
The depth of her commitment hits me like a sudden pitch of the boat. ?I agree,? I say softly.
?She needs a sister too. Or a brother, if that?s the best we can do. I'm thirty-five, and I'm not getting any younger.?
The laughter I hear is mine. ?You?re moving pretty fast, aren'?t you??
?Have you ever known me to move any other way??
?No.?
?Well, then,? she says, her face still severe. ?You should probably kiss me now.?
Reaching out, I take her hand and pull her toward me. For the first time in a year and a half, this intimacy is not a dream or a memory, but real. She hesitates, then spreads her palm flat on my chest and smiles with such intensity that her eyes shine.
?I?'ve missed you,? she says. ?I?'ve missed you so much.?
?Why didn't you let me know??
?Because it was everything or nothing. It had to be.?
Before I can speak again, she leans forward and brushes her lips against mine. This close, her scent is overwhelming. Taking her in my arms, I kiss her as I longed to the first time we were ever alone, and she melts against me. When she finally pulls back, her cheeks are flushed, her eyes bright and wet.
?Do you remember our first time?? she asks.
?The party at that surgeon?s house. In the garden. Before the Del Payton case broke.?
?Does it feel the same to you??
?Yes. No. As good as that was, this is better.?
She closes her eyes as though saying a silent prayer. ?Was that your first kiss after your wife died??
?Yes.?
?I?'ve always wondered that.?
?You must have known.?
She opens her eyes and touches my right cheek with her finger. ?I thought it was. I wanted to think it. That'?s why I never asked.?
Over Caitlin?s shoulder, I see a long string of barges pushing around the north bend of the river. ?When can we tell Annie?? I ask, moving behind the wheel and starting the engine.
?Today. It?s long overdue.?
?What about asking your father?s permission, all that??
?We?re pretty old for that, aren'?t we? He?d love it, of course.?
?It?s the right thing. In this case, anyway.?
Spying the barges, Caitlin stows the empty urn, then sits in the passenger seat. ?Do whatever you want about that. But I'm about to surprise you.?
?Oh, God. Are you pregnant? With a little filmmaker??
She smacks me on the shoulder hard enough to bruise. ?It?s about the wedding.?
?Let me guess. No fuss, no church, just a quick trip to Fiji or somewhere.?
?Boy, you
dumb. I want the church, the dress, engraved invitations, a string quartet, the whole thing. I know it?s all bullshit, but I want it anyway.?
?I literally can?t believe that.?
She smiles broadly, elated at having surprised me. ?If I'm going to stay in Mississippi, I'm taking the good with the bad. Come on, let?s go before that barge runs us over.?
Putting the boat into gear, I push the throttle forward, make a wide turn, and head downstream.
?The day we get married,? she says above the roar of the wind, ?I'm going to pour a glass of champagne into this river. Don?t let me forget.?
?I won'?t.?
?I mean it.? She takes my hand, then pulls out her ponytail holder and lets the wind fling her dark veil of hair behind her. ?Do you know how lucky we are??
