Move,
Run?
They know.
CHAPTER
14
The second my father walks into my bathroom with his black bag, I put my finger to my lips and shove a piece of paper into his hands. On it are printed the words:
Dad looks up after reading for only two seconds, but I shake my head and point at the paper, and he goes back to reading. My father is seventy-three years old, and he?s practiced medicine in Natchez for more than forty of those years. He?s the same height I am?an inch over six feet?but the arthritis that?s slowly curling his hands into claws has bowed his spine so that I am taller now. His hair and beard have gone white, his skin is cracked and spotted from psoriasis, and he has to take insulin shots every day, yet the primary impression he radiates is one of strength. Thirty years past triple-bypass surgery, he?s sicker than most of his patients, but they think of him as I do: an oak tree twisted by age and battered by storms, but still indomitable at the core. He licks his lips, looks up slowly from the paper, and says, ?Is your heart still racing??
?I think it?s worse. And the nausea?s worse. I vomited twice after I called you.?
?Wonderful.? Dad glances toward the bathroom counter. Between the two sinks are the articles I assembled while I waited for him: my keys; a black Nike warm-up suit and running shoes; Annie?s MacBook computer, booted up with Microsoft Word on the screen; a Springfield XD nine-millimeter pistol, and a short-barreled .357 Magnum. ?I brought you some Ativan,? he says, ?but I want to listen to your chest first.?
?Do you mind if I get in the bathtub? I want to clean myself up.?
?That'?s fine. Just get your shirt off.?
I nod and turn on the cold-water tap, then strip off my clothes and pull on the warm-up suit. Dad moves in front of the computer as I pull on the top and pecks out the words
He steps aside for me to type my response, and we begin a sort of waltz in place, during which I explain our dilemma. He always typed much slower than I, but it?s worse now because of his hands; it hurts to watch him struggle to strike the keys.
Dad nods slowly, and I know his memories mirror my own: I see the house that he and my mother lived in for thirty years going up in flames, and the maid who raised me and my sister in agony on a table in the emergency room.
?Take a deep breath,? Dad says in his medical voice, as though
he?s listening to my heart with his stethoscope. ?Again?okay?again.?
I type.
Dad?s face goes through subtle changes of expression as he absorbs all this, but in a short while he nods and types again.
His contemptuous expression tells me his answer to this, but he types:
He digests this, then types:
I pick up the big revolver and slip it into his arthritic hands.
He eyes his crooked fingers doubtfully.
He shrugs philosophically.
Dad sucks his teeth for a few seconds, and I know he?s thinking of options. With a grunt he bends and types:
Dad shakes his head and types: