The Backwoods

There’s always gotta be a mystery goin’ on, even if it ain’t true. Rumor is some of these Squatters was actually murdered. By Dwayne.”

The comment jolted her. “Dwayne?”

“Um-hmm. And you wanna know the rest?”

Now Patricia was almost laughing. “Of course!”

“Rumor is that Everd Stanherd used his boondocks magic to kill Dwayne—for revenge.”

“And people actually believe this?” she asked, astonished.

“Oh, yeah.”

“I don’t believe in ‘boondocks’ magic, and I’m sure you don’t either.” She paused, looking at him hard. “Do you?”

He paused himself, which seemed strange, then cracked a smile and said, “A’ course not. All I meant is to show ya how things work here. There’s rumors for everything. And that’d be great if you really could see Dwayne’s autopsy report, and put an end to that rumor.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I will.”

“I got work to do in the yard, so I’ll see ya later,” he said, and disappeared from the open door.

What a strange conversation. But at least it got my mind off . . . him. Middle age is turning me into a closet slut! And he was right about the rumors. People made them up to make their lives feel more interesting. Patricia had to admit she was intrigued herself, and that was why she picked up her cell phone again and called her office. Her associate put her through to the boss, the chief managing partner, Tim McGinnis.

“So how are things down there in . . . where?” he asked.

“Agan’s Point, southern, southern Virginia.”

“Never heard of it. Sounds like a hillbilly town.”

“It sort of is,” she said through a laugh. “D.C. and this place are two different worlds. Everything all right at the firm?”

“Well, other than the roof threatening to collapse since the day you left, things are great. I hope you get back here soon, because the Walton account wants to go to settlement.”

“Give it to the associates; I don’t have to be there.”

“They want you, nobody else. I guess you’re the only lawyer in D.C. they trust. Please come back soon.”

“God, you sound like my husband. Don’t worry; I won’t be more than a week.”

“Thank God.”

“But I also wanted to ask you something.” She got to the point of her call. “Didn’t you tell me once that some buddy of yours works for the governor of Virginia?”

Tim laughed snidely. “Yeah, but he’s not my buddy; he’s my brother. He’s the number four man in the state government, director of public safety. Oversees every police department in the state, every fire department, county sheriff’s—everything.”

Perfect, she thought. “Are you in any position to ask him a favor?”

Now Tim laughed harder. “Since I practically put his boss in office with private fund-raising contributions, I think I can safely say my brother would shit turkeys and whistle ‘Dixie’ if I told him to. Why?”

Patricia was amused by the talk. “I need access to an autopsy report, and I don’t have the time to do a FOIA request. My sister’s husband—Dwayne Parker. Nobody knows the exact cause of death, and I want to find out.”

Tim’s incredulity could be sensed over the line. “I thought you said he got his head cut off! That’s the cause of death: head cut off.”

Patricia felt guilty getting a laugh out of the tragedy. . . . But it is kind of funny when you put it that way. “There’s this rumor down here that there was some oddity relating to the decapitation, and I haven’t gotten anywhere with the local police chief. I really need this, Tim. The autopsy report is in the morgue at the county hospital in Luntville.”

“I’ll make a call. Just go to the place tomorrow, and it shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Thanks, Tim. It’s just that there’s some weird stuff going on here, and I’m curious about it.”

“Hmm. Well, remember what curiosity did to the cat. I don’t really like the idea of my star attorney running around down in Hooterville inquiring about decapitations.”

“The weirdest part is that there have been several more murders just since I’ve been back—”

“What!”

“Drug-related stuff. It’s very uncharacteristic in a place like this.”

Now her boss lost his levity. “Why don’t you just come home? Don’t tell me some other people got their heads cut off too.”

“No, but it was pretty brutal stuff. I just want to check some things out, get my sister squared away; then I’ll be back.”

“You’d damn well better, ’cos let me tell you something. If you wind up getting your head cut off . . . I’m going to be pissed.”

A final laugh. “Thanks for your help, Tim. And I will be back soon, with my head securely attached to my neck.”

Nine

(I)

Chief Sutter was looking at Pam’s legs as he pretended to write up his daily operating report. He needed diversion—from the very loud fact that people in his town were suddenly dying right and left—and Pam’s legs provided this necessary diversion and then some. Pam was a local cutie whom he’d hired as the department’s radio dispatcher and office manager. She was great at both jobs, so the fact that she had a body that could start a riot in a monastery maximized her purpose in the office. She made for a positive working environment, and that was important to hardworking, overstressed police officers, wasn’t it?

Trey sat at the opposite desk, pretending to go over the county blotter, and he, too, seemed to be musing over Pam’s legs as she sat at her own desk, typing. The legs, by the way, could be described as coltish. Long and lean, well toned without being “muscular”—ultimate legs as far as men were concerned. The rest of her was equally flawless: trim and curvy; alert, prominent-nippled breasts; and a tight, to-die-for little butt. Short auburn hair framed a cute little angel face with bright hazel eyes. Any male sexist slob’s archetypical meat for a spectacular daydream: the total office package.

Sutter seethed to himself when she suddenly crossed her legs. The delectable—and tiny—triangle of fabric shouted at him. Fuck, she’s wearin’ a T-back. Just what I need . . .

Then she got up to take something to the file room. The chief’s eyes riveted to the shifting little butt in the tight blue-jean miniskirt, then slid down to the legs. All that tight, fresh, tan skin seemed to glimmer beneath fishnet stockings. Her high heels ticked across the floor until they disappeared.

Trey was shaking his head. “Jesus, Chief. Those are some damn fine walkin’ sticks on her, ain’t they? Wouldn’t mind havin’ ’em wrapped around my head for an hour or three.”

Sutter shot a reproving scowl. “Is there anytime when your mind ain’t in the trash can, Trey? That happens to be our employee you’re lustin’ after.”

Trey grinned, slapping his knees. “Chief, you practically been droolin,’ lookin’ at those gams for the last twenty minutes.”

“I have not,” he insisted. “And shut up. We need to be thinkin’ on what we gotta do about this drug business in Squatterville.”

“Not much we can do. State narcs are investigatin’.”

“Yeah, but this is our town, Trey. So maybe some a’ this is our fault.”

“How do ya figure?”

“All these years we took it for granted that Squatterville’s crime-free. Maybe if we’d had a better presence