'I was something of a slut, I suppose. I was always bedding some soldier or servant or other. I was pretty then, as well. No shortage of men wanted to bed me. It was just some fun, at the time. So I thought.'
She sighed again and picked at the heavy wool of her dress, eyes downcast.
'One of those soldiers was a young captain called Cosuas.'
'You slept with Cosuas? What are you telling me?'
'Not what you think, though it is what he believes. No, Cosuas is not your father.'
'But he thinks I am?' Ullsaard could not quite comprehend the importance of this. 'Why has Cosuas never said anything about this?'
'Because I asked him not to. I did not want him to lie to you, though I lied to him. When Cosuas was a captain in the palace I used to visit him often. On one occasion I caught the eye of another man, a powerful man, and he took me to his bed. With any other man, that might have been the end of the story. Not for me. The man I slept with was Prince Lutaar, now the king.'
Ullsaard was aghast. A dozen questions crammed into his mind but he could not voice any of them before his mother continued.
'There is a dark secret kept in Askh, one that few know about. Any woman bedded by one of the Blood, not their wives, is taken away to the Brotherhood. It is to ensure that there are no bastards trying to claim the throne. What the Brotherhood do with them, I have no idea. We'd hear whispers of some young woman or other going missing now and then, but we would just assume they had been sent somewhere else. Maybe they are, I don't know.'
'So what happened? What did the Brotherhood do with you?'
'They never laid their hands on me. Cosuas was ordered to keep me under watch until the Brothers came for me. I didn't tell him what had happened, but I confess I used all of my wiles to twist his heart to my side. He helped me to escape before they came for me, and then faked my death just outside Askh. I fled and headed here to Enair to live out my life in secret.' Her face told the sad story of what followed more than any words. 'Cosuas was meant to follow, but he did not.'
'So you are a fugitive?' Ullsaard almost laughed. 'That's why you cannot go back to Askh? This all happened a long time ago, I am sure that nobody remembers you.'
'It matters not whether they remember me. When I arrived here, I learnt that I was pregnant with you.'
'Another chance encounter on the road?'
'I have not slept with another man since leaving Askh.'
Ullsaard thought about this for a moment.
'But you said Cosuas isn't my father.'
Pretaa nodded. Ullsaard flew to his feet, sending the chair flying backwards.
'No, you have it wrong! How can you be sure Lutaar is my father? How many different men did you sleep with? How can you know Cosuas really isn't my father?'
'Look at yourself,' Pretaa snapped. 'Tall, strong, intelligent, powerful. Certainly it was not Cosuas's Ersuan seed that made you, though he deludes himself it may be. You have the Blood in you. Aalun recognises it, even if he does not know it. That is why he has been drawn to you, and why you have risen so far so fast with his help. Perhaps your father feels it in you as well and that is why he is afraid of you.'
Ullsaard walked away, waving his hands in denial.
'No, no, this does not make sense. The king is not afraid of me. I would be no more than a second captain without Aalun's help. There is not one drop of the Blood in me.'
'How else does an Enairian of no name marry into Askhan nobility? How else does an ignorant coldlander become a celebrated general of the legions? You have never courted power until now, and yet throughout your life you have gained it. Most men of ambition achieve half of what you have.'
It was Pretaa that now stood. She grabbed Ullsaard's hands and held them between hers. She looked up at her son's distressed face with a fierce expression.
'I have always been so proud of you, but I could never tell you why. To lead others, to fight, to command, it is in your nature. You have said it to me in the past; you feel alive in battle like at no other time. That is the Blood, its blessing and its curse.'
'I cannot talk about this,' said Ullsaard, whirling away. He stalked from the room and back into the entrance hall. He stopped and marched back into the room where his mother looked at the door. 'Tell nobody else this!'
He grabbed a heavy cloak and left the house, setting off towards the woods to think.
II
Though it was barely two hours into High Watch when Ullsaard returned to the house, the sky was darkening quickly. The narrow windows upstairs were slivers of yellow against the black of the building, the setting sun beyond obscured by heavy cloud. Ullsaard tramped through the mud to the gate, where one of his mother's retainers waited with a lantern. Ullsaard recognised him as Illsaard, a man a little older than the general. The two of them had grown up together, and Ullsaard could not help but think how differently their lives had turned out. Perhaps there was something to what his mother had said about the power of the Blood.
'Has Urikh returned yet?' Ullsaard asked as Illsaard opened the wooden gate.
'Not yet, general.'
Ullsaard nodded and continued into the house. His mother was waiting for him where he had left her, sitting by the fire. There was no sign of Ullsaard's wives.
Pretaa stood up as he entered. She said nothing, but there was a question in her look.
'It doesn't matter; you were right,' Ullsaard said. 'You will never speak of this to anyone else.'
'You understand why I did not tell you before?'
Ullsaard kicked off his muddy boots and threw his coat over the back of a couch.
'The Blood changes nothing. I was raised without a father and I will die without a father.'
Ullsaard left and headed upstairs, seeking Allenya. He found her in the bedroom set aside for her visits, sewing by the light of a lamp. She put the piece down and stood when she saw his taut expression.
'Is something wrong?'
'No,' said Ullsaard. 'Nothing new, anyway. Don't let me interrupt. What are you making?'
Allenya held up her work; a cushion cover half-embroidered with a forest scene.
'It's nice,' said Ullsaard, kissing his wife on the forehead. He slumped on to the bed and laid back, arms behind his head. 'Have I been selfish? Greedy?'
'Is it greed for a man to want the most from life?' said Allenya. 'If a man has no ambition, he leaves the world with what he had when he entered it: nothing. You know I will always be here for you, no matter what happens. I do not know if what you have done is right or wrong; it is done and cannot be changed. Now is not the time to doubt yourself, my love. You have chosen a path, you have to follow it all of the way to the end.'
Ullsaard stared at the white ceiling, stained with smudges of lamp soot.
'You are right, as usual,' he said quietly. 'What's done is done. It's too late now for regrets.'
III
The family were just finishing their evening meal — a fine banquet of game and fish — when the banging of the main door heralded Urikh's arrival.
'In here!' Pretaa called out. 'I have other guests now.'
Urikh strode into the dining chamber and stopped dead in his tracks upon seeing his father and mothers. He was in his midtwenties, with Ullsaard's height but Luia's slimness. He had thick, dark hair cut at the shoulder, bony cheeks and a narrow chin. His thin lips parted in surprise.
'Don't standing there gawping like a simpleton,' Luia said as she stood. 'Greet your family properly.'
'Hello,' said Urikh. He gave Luia a peck on the cheek, and did the same for Meliu and Allenya. He hesitantly
