Blood Loss

Ren laughed through the tears.

‘I’m serious,’ he said. ‘You’re a heartless one.’

She looked up at him. ‘I thought you were joking,’ she said. ‘You sensitive soul.’

‘But, love is amazing,’ said Ben.

There’s a lot to be said for an untroubled man.

‘I slept with someone else,’ said Ren.

Ben looked at her. ‘Really?’

‘Yes,’ said Ren. ‘And I feel terrible about it.’

‘Why?’ said Ben.

‘Why did I do it or why do I feel terrible?’ said Ren.

‘Why do you feel terrible?’

Uh-oh. ‘Because … of you.’

‘Well, don’t,’ said Ben.

‘OK, but I can’t help it,’ said Ren.

‘Who was it?’ said Ben.

‘Someone from before,’ said Ren. ‘Someone … I had unfinished business with.’

‘Did sleeping with him finish the business?’ said Ben.

‘Yes,’ said Ren, ‘the business is wound up, the shutters are down, the auditors have been and gone, there were rumors of fraud, but it turns out it was ultimately unfounded, and really, the business never stood a chance, and was probably only two silent partners who had more important businesses elsewhere, but were loyal to their little start-up that never really started-up.’

‘Is there potential for a new start-up, do you think?’ said Ben.

‘I do think,’ said Ren.

Ben smiled. ‘Good.’ He paused.

‘How come you’re cool with this?’ said Ren.

‘Because I know why you did it.’

‘Well, I don’t …’

‘Because you like me, and you don’t really want to, so sleeping with someone else was your way of seeing how you really felt about me, or him, or both of us … I don’t know …’

Ooh.

He smiled. ‘Rader: 1. Louderback: 0.’

‘Oh, God,’ said Ren. ‘Take that to your grave.’

‘It’s in a grave, trust me.’

‘I do,’ said Ren.

‘Paul Louderback, though … I don’t really get it.’

Ren laughed.

‘I’m sorry,’ said Ben. He took her hands and looked her in the eye. ‘It’s OK to care about someone. No-one’s going to die.’

Shut. Up. ‘I know. Thanks. And I really am sorry. It’s just … that letter was beautiful, and I …’ … am not. And I love that kind of love. And I need everything to be perfect and if it isn’t … I can’t bear it. I can’t believe in it. It scares the crap out of me. I need you to know what you’re letting yourself in for. I can’t have you thinking I’m better than I am. Because I’m a piece of shit. And really, you should know better. And weren’t you trained to have better instincts? And …

Ben kissed her, and took her in his arms. ‘There’s no need to sabotage this.’

Ren slept on the flight to Atlanta, and slept on the flight to Sarasota. It was an exercise in anthropology watching people’s reaction to her facial injury as she walked through the airports.

She rented a car and drove to Armand Circle where she was meeting Shep Collier in a restaurant called Venezia. She found him sitting in the corner with a coffee. He was dressed suitably expensively in tones of beige and cream. When he reached out to shake Ren’s hand, she could smell lemon cologne.

‘Thank you for meeting me,’ she said.

He nodded. ‘That’s not a problem.’ He called the waiter over and ordered them coffee.

‘Excuse my appearance,’ said Ren. ‘I had a minor car issue last night.’

‘It looks sore,’ said Collier.

‘It is.’

‘So, what can I help you with?’ said Collier.

‘I don’t have a lot of time,’ said Ren. ‘I know that whatever is going on, you must be under incredible pressure, or in danger. I can’t see another reason why you would lie to your family, to the entire nation, and to the FBI.’

His face stayed impassive. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’

Ren leaned in to him. ‘I spoke with Tina Bowers. That girl is frightened …’ Or naively buoyant, one or the other.

Collier blinked. ‘She is seventeen years old, and she’s been embroiled in a national scandal. Of course she’s frightened.’

‘It’s more than that,’ said Ren.

‘I’d rather not talk about Tina Bowers,’ said Collier. ‘There is nothing more that I can say to you about her.’

‘Think of Mark Whaley’s wife and children,’ said Ren. ‘I presume you looked up the story after we last spoke.’

Collier nodded.

‘I don’t believe that Mark Whaley murdered Shelby Royce,’ said Ren. ‘I believe he was set up. There was no evidence at first, but now it appears that there may be …’

‘I just don’t know how I can help you,’ said Collier.

‘You didn’t sleep with Tina Bowers, Mr Collier.’

Something in his face changed. ‘Why would I admit to sleeping with an underage prostitute if I hadn’t?’

‘Well, you tell me,’ said Ren. ‘She said that she didn’t sleep with you.’

‘She hasn’t gone on the record with this …’ said Collier.

‘You seem very sure of that,’ said Ren.

‘My lawyer would have informed me.’

That or you know the ruthlessness of the people behind this.

‘I am not giving up on this,’ said Ren.

Collier stared at her, for what seemed like minutes. ‘I said everything I have to say one month ago …’ He paused. ‘I was standing in front of the whole country, and I thought that was it, that was the end. I just can’t have this coming into my home any more. My family is too important to me. I love my wife too much.’

His eyes were boring into Ren’s, she could feel the intensity.

Something is going on here. What the hell is it?

‘I’m sorry I can’t help you,’ said Collier.

‘I can’t say that this will end here,’ said Ren. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘Well, I can only hope,’ said Collier. ‘It’s difficult for a man like me to lose control over events in his life.’ He paused. ‘If just one person could take another look at what it was that first impressed them about me … well, it would be a positive step. Who knows what that could lead to?’

‘Thank you for your time, Mr Collier,’ said Ren.

Ren ran to the rental car and jumped inside. She grabbed her notebook from her purse. Paul Louderback’s advice came back to her: ‘write everything down verbatim: skim over what an interviewee is telling you and you miss vital verbal clues.’

It was simple advice that had been implanted early on, and reinforced constantly by Gary Dettling in UC training.

You can’t pull a notebook out during a drug deal.

Ren wrote down as much as she could remember of what Shep Collier said to her. She shoved the notebook in her bag, put the car in gear, and made it to the airport in half the time it had taken her to get to the