Next to a shotgun, a pool cue is the best weapon in a fight.

A handgun at two hundred feet is the same thing as crossing your fingers and making a wish.

No point in having a weapon at all unless it’s ready for instant use.

Don’t trust a .38-caliber revolver. You can’t rely on them to put a guy down.

A chisel plunged into the back of your head is going to seriously ruin your day.

>>HOW TO USE A CIGARETTE AS AN EFFECTIVE WEAPON

Take quick, deep pulls to heat the coal on the end of the cigarette up to a couple thousand degrees. When it has lengthened to a point like an arrow, apply quickly to a vulnerable part of the body. Such as an eye.

Rolls of quarters in your fists—good old- fashioned technology.

Choose the weapon you know for sure is in working order.

The longer a barrel, the straighter it shoots.

A cup of hot coffee is also a weapon in the right hands.

“Twelve-gauge lead shots settle most disputes at the first time of asking.”

The best way to get hold of a random untraceable gun is to steal it from someone who already stole it. That way there are no official comebacks.

Keep a gun with a single shell locked in the chamber and all the other bullets loose. More jams are caused by tired magazine springs than any other single reason.

>>CREATING A WEAPON FROM A CERAMIC BATHROOM TILE

Sharpen it into the shape of a knife. A bathroom tile, being entirely ceramic, is harder than anything except a diamond. Harder than steel, sharper than steel. And it won’t trigger a metal detector.

THINGS YOU’LL NEVER SEE REACHER DO

Fill in an insurance form

THE UNITED STATES ARMY

MILITARY POLICE

Law-enforcement branch of the United States Army, established to:

•  maintain discipline and security in the Army

•  protect supply routes and guard prisoners

•  act as a fighting force in combat

•  act as peacekeepers at war’s end

•  aid disaster relief

•  manage internal security

•  uphold democracy

It is one of the most deployed branches of the Army.

“I don’t come from anywhere. I come from a place called Military.”

“If in doubt, drink coffee.”

Nothing’s too urgent for coffee.

A bad coffee mug has a thick lip—too wide, too shallow, too much mass—it will cool the drink too fast.

A good coffee mug is cylindrical in shape, narrow in relation to its height and with a thin lip.

“I love coffee. Give me the chance and I drink coffee like an alcoholic drinks vodka.”

Coffee tastes better if the latrines are dug downstream from an encampment.

U.S. Army Field Regulations, 1861

“The Reacher brothers’ need for caffeine made heroin addiction look like a little take-it-or-leave-it sideline.”

Ignore the fancy brews and get a tall house blend, black, no cream.

It’s all about the caffeine.

Coffee keeps you awake. Until you want to go to sleep.

Never say no to a cup of coffee.

THINGS YOU’LL NEVER HEAR REACHER SAY

No more coffee for

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