“I just wanted to go home.”
“Then why didn’t you tell her to take you?” Frank asked.
Stan shook his head. “I don’t know. I guess because she was so beautiful. Just being near her, it was like a thrill, or something. It was like something was coming off her body. It just swept around you. You couldn’t pull away from it. At least, I couldn’t.”
As he listened, Frank tried to recall the intensity of such youthful desire. He remembered long nights when he’d been unable to sleep because of it. Everything became moist, swollen, infinitely sweet. He knew that that was how Stan must have felt as he sat beside Angelica Devereaux. Frank had felt that way for Sheila, and it struck him that the slow decline of such passion, the way time wore its sharpness down to a flat, featureless nub, was one of life’s great losses.
“I had had some experience before,” Stan said, quietly. “I mean, before that night. But nothing like Angelica.”
“Where did you go after you left the park?” Frank asked.
“We drove around that same area,” Stan said. “We just went all around that part of town.” He shrugged. “I’d never been over there much before. But Angelica, she seemed to know it pretty well.”
“How do you know that?”
“She just acted like she knew it, like she’d been around there a lot.”
“Did she ever mention any names? People she might have known who lived in the area?”
Stan shook his head. “No.”
“Did she concentrate on any particular streets?”
“Well, there was one that she went up and down a couple of times.”
“Do you remember the name?”
“No, sir,” Stan said.
“Are you sure?”
“I didn’t notice a name. I’m sorry.”
“Think hard,” Caleb said.
“I’ve been trying to remember everything,” Stan said, “I really have. But it was at night, and I’d never really been around that part of town much.” He looked at Frank. “It’s sort of seedy over there, you know. I got sort of nervous. I mean, I locked my door. I remember that. And I even told Angelica to lock hers.”
“Did she?” Frank asked.
“No.”
Frank jotted a few notes into his notebook then looked back up at the boy. “So you drove around the Grant Park area for a while, then what?”
“We ended up in this back alley,” Stan said. “It was behind some buildings. I don’t know exactly where it was.”
“Did you notice any signs in the alley?” Caleb asked. “Any particular kinds of trucks, like a beer truck or a TV repair truck, anything like that?”
“It was empty,” Stan said. “I think that’s why she stopped.”
“Because it was empty?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because of what we did,” Stan said. “I mean she picked it because she knew what she was going to do.”
“Which was?”
“Well, have sex,” Stan said hesitantly. “She stopped the car and just sat there for a while. She didn’t say anything. She just stared out the window. I don’t know how long. I didn’t say anything to her. Angelica had a way of making people keep their mouths shut. When she wanted you to be quiet, she could make you, just with a look. And that’s what she wanted, just to sit for a while and be quiet. Finally though, I just mentioned that we could go over to the Varsity and have a hamburger and onion rings.”
“What did she say?” Frank asked.
“She gave this little laugh of hers,” Stan said. “Very cold laugh, almost nasty. And she said, ‘Hamburger? Is that what you want?’ Then she laughed again. Then she said, ‘Don’t you want me, Stan? Isn’t that what you want?’” He glanced nervously to Frank, to Caleb, then back to Frank. “Then she just started to unbutton her blouse. She laughed again, that same laugh. ‘Me,’ she said, ‘everybody wants me.’”
Frank could almost hear Angelica’s voice, almost see the flinty look in her eyes. There was something in both that was wounded beyond repair. He could sense that some part of her was either already dead or swelling with the wish to die.
He wrote “everybody wants me” in his notebook, then looked up at the boy. “She started to unbutton her blouse,” he said. “Then what happened?”
“I really didn’t know what to do exactly,” Stan said. “I mean, I’m not stupid or anything; I knew what she was getting at. But I couldn’t figure out why she was doing this with me. She could have had anybody. Some hotshot college man or something. That’s who I figured she’d end up doing it with. But not me.” He shook his head. “And not like
“Did she say anything?” Frank asked.
“No,” Stan told him. “Not one word. I tried to make a little conversation. Who wouldn’t at a time like that? But she wasn’t interested. Every time I tried to talk to her, she’d just glare at me like I was something terrible, something ugly, like she was disgusted with everything that had happened.” He looked at Caleb. “And that’s the way she looked at me from then on.” He turned back to Frank. “Of course, I couldn’t really blame her. I mean, when it’s your first time, you want it to be special.”
“First time?” Frank asked.
“Yes.”
“For you?”
“For her,” Stan said. “I mean, I haven’t been around a lot, or anything. I’m not saying that. But I wasn’t a … virgin.”
“But Angelica was?” Frank asked.
“Yes.”
“You’re sure about that?”
Stan smiled. “I’m not that stupid,” he said. “I know the difference.”
“What was Angelica like when you saw her after this?” Frank asked.
“She acted just like she had before. Before that night, she barely knew I existed, and that’s the way she acted after it.”
Frank wrote it down, then closed his notebook. “Thanks for your help,” he said.
Caleb stood up. “Yeah, thanks,” he said. “And we’ll stay in touch.” He handed him a card. “You keep in touch, too. Especially if you think of something that could give us some help.”
Stan got to his feet. “Listen,” he said cautiously, “I know it’s not exactly right to bring this up, but this pregnancy thing, my father doesn’t know anything about that. I mean, I didn’t know about it before you told me.”
“And you’d just as soon keep the slate clean as far as your daddy is concerned, right?” Caleb asked him.
“If it’s possible.”
“It’s possible,” Caleb assured him. He looked at Frank. “Think we could keep this just between the menfolk?” he asked.
“Maybe,” Frank said. He got to his feet slowly. “We’ll probably talk to you again, Stan,” he said. “We may have to go over everything several times.”
“I understand.”
Within a few minutes the three of them were standing together on the front lawn.
“Must be interesting, being a policeman,” Stan said casually.
