Prototype

morning? She said hello and waited, heard nothing but distant traffic, down the street or halfway around the world.

Then: “Adrienne?”

She straightened against the wall, everything coalescing into a phosphorescent pinpoint that burned like a welder’s torch. Clay. Unaware, she wrapped the spiral cord around her free hand as if she could hang onto him that way, reel him back in.

“I’m glad you called,” she said.

“Uh huh.” His voice sounded thin and strained. “Can you come get me?”

“Sure.” Automatic. “Where are you?”

“I think I might have killed someone.”

* * *

Sarah had offered to drive but Adrienne more than wanted to, she needed to. It would leave that much less of her mind free for dread, for every second-guess that floated in from the dark in that predawn hour when nothing seems the same. When love feels sweeter and illness incurable.

Leaving a city behind, a weaving route of on-ramps and merge lanes; Sunday’s dawn yet to come and Denver felt dead. Clouds had stolen in overnight to muddy the sky. Adrienne had to consciously stop herself from gnawing at her lower lip. She would show up in Fort Collins looking as if she’d been punched.

I think I might have killed someone.

What if he was right? He would be lost then, to himself and to her, even to his kind; another statistical casualty. If he really had become a danger, she should turn him in. While the doctor-patient relationship was nearly as sacrosanct as that of priest and confessing sinner, she had an ethical duty to the public’s safety.

Ah, but she had bent ethics already. If the relationship was that confidential, what was Sarah doing coming along now; what was Sarah doing with full knowledge in the first place?

I am losing all my touchstones, she was forced to admit. I’m out here with only my conscience for a guide, and it’s rebelling at nearly everything I used to think was sacred. Because none of that works this time.

She’d come to the conclusion that she was doing Arizona Associated Labs’ dirty work. Their invasion of privacy under a pretense of providing care. And while those to whom she reported seemed satisfied with what she was sending in, the joke was really on them. She was not even giving full disclosure anymore.

Clay’s outburst in which he demolished the bar stool? She had never told them, for fear she might be removed from the scene, that it was getting too dangerous; not in AAL’s mercenary view, but possibly Ferris Mendenhall might rescind his cooperation in loaning her out. Likewise she had downplayed how extensive his break with her had been; feeding the hope, keeping it alive, Clay may come around any day. Much of the conversation in the abandoned factory, which Sarah had recounted for her, Adrienne had relayed as if it had been held with her instead, informally. See, I’m still getting some results. Clay’s tale of the peppered moth, oh, how they had loved that analogy. She was hip-deep in an ethical quagmire, but unable to convince herself that it was not justified on the most vital level: saving Clay.

If his chromosomes broke the rules, couldn’t she?

“Things can’t go on like this,” Adrienne said, “not if he’s going to derive any benefit and get control over himself.”

Sarah sat bouncing her knee, holding a mug of coffee whipped together before they had left. “What else can you do that’s that much different?”

“I don’t know. It’s the circumstances, mostly. They don’t feel right to me. We dumped him right back into the same life that was creating most of his problems.”

“Maybe he’d have problems no matter where he was.”

“Maybe.” Adrienne nodded. “Probably. If he’s really hurt someone up there, it might be possible to commit him now, but…”

“But you really don’t want to.”

“I don’t think it would help at all, I think it’d be giving him the final excuse he needs to destroy himself. I keep thinking I can make some difference.” She scooted down in the seat, easing off her guard now that they were out of Denver; skinned a hand through her hair and looked at a couple of gold silken strands that came free. Great, on top of everything else I’m losing my hair. “I’m wondering now how far I’ll go just to try to keep myself in place. I’ve already held things back at my own discretion, I’ve twisted things around. Do I draw the line at outright lies?”

After she no longer had access to Clay at all, how many more weeks — days, even — before she began fabricating entire reports, to keep from being recalled home? Turn his case history into fiction, just to avoid giving up on the idea of being part of it?

Sarah’s hand, warmed from the mug, found its way to hers; lingered and gave a squeeze before withdrawing.

“Have you thought of hypnotherapy for him?” Sarah said.

“Not seriously, no.” It was nothing for which she had ever trained. And while it had its merits, she had reservations that it would even be appropriate. Uncovering a forgotten past was not the issue, and posthypnotic suggestions generally worked better on concrete behavior patterns, not overall ways of relating to the world; thou shalt not smoke, thou shalt not eat to excess.

“He’s big on finding out what that chromosome triplet means, you know,” Sarah said.

“Trisome.”

“Hmm?”

“It’s called a trisome.”

“Whatever.” Sarah gulped at her coffee. “I don’t think Clay cares half as much what it’s called as he does finding out why it’s happening.”

“Well, don’t we all.”

“And not just to him, but to each of them. You know, ever since I talked to him in that factory —”

The factory; now there was a blister to poke. Clay had let Sarah share his inner sanctum when he probably would have waved his chair at Adrienne until she retreated. Jealous? Hell yes.

“ — and he told me about the moths, that whole biological and environmental agenda under the surface, you know who I’ve kept thinking about?”

Adrienne gripped the wheel. This could only be weird. “Who?”

“Remember Kendra Madigan?”

She drew a blank for a moment, and then it hit her, hit her hard. “You’ve got to be kidding.”

“No. I’m not. It might be an interesting thing to try with him, if he’d want to.”

Adrienne, shaking her head, was adamant. “Interesting. That’s a blithe way to put it. Especially when something like that is likely to do more harm than anything.”

But this was Sarah she was talking to; typical Sarah, who now and then clung to the oddball and superstitious because she wanted to believe in a shortcut, and she would not be dissuaded. They saw eye-to-eye on much, but here they parted company.

They had heard of Kendra Madigan even before she had come to Tempe for a lecture and debate at the university a year and a half ago. She had been written up in a one-page article Sarah had seen in Newsweek, and Psychology Today had humored her if nothing else.

A professor at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, and a practicing hypnotist and psychologist, Kendra Madigan had written a book in which she claimed to have pioneered a hypnosis so deep it was possible to access the collective unconscious, the species memory that transcended the individual. No one of much note took her seriously, dismissing the technique as so much New Age hokum, although they stopped short of accusing her of fraud. She was, at worst, deluded, her ideas all the more controversial for her use of natural hallucinogens on some subjects. Predictably enough, her reception at Arizona State had been mixed, both enthusiastically pro and skeptically con.

Naturally, Sarah had been enthralled.

“You know what it’s like?” Sarah asked. “It’s like you’re just giving lip service to Carl Jung, and not really putting your money where your ideology is. How can you anchor yourself in Jung like you do and deny the collective