I strode over to the cordless mounted on the living-room wall and answered.
Caroline said, 'Done showing off?'
'I hope so.'
'You're all right?' Something in her delivery connoted great care.
I considered for a moment, then answered, truthfully, 'Yes. I am.'
'You weren't answering your cell,' she said. It was only then that I realized the phone had been on mute since Lloyd's house. 'So I got your home line from your Big Brother form. I have something to cheer you up.'
'What?'
'Me?'
'Do you deliver?'
'I do.'
She hung up. Xena garishly stuck her muzzle between my legs. Jealous, no doubt.
I went to my car to retrieve the half-written book and the unlabeled CD from Genevieve's that I'd shoved beneath my floor mat.
Back upstairs I sat at my desk, placed the pages beside my mouse pad, and slid the disc into my computer, bringing up iTunes on the monitor. My screen asked if I wanted to retrieve track and album information, identifying the burned music from the online library.
I did.
While iTunes searched, showing me a horizontal barber pole to solicit my patience, I picked up my office phone to call Chic. The line bleated, indicating messages.
I dialed voice mail. A synthetic voice said, 'Greetings. You have forty-nine saved messages.'
My lawyers and I had reviewed digital copies of all the messages while preparing my case. My messages had been preserved in the actual system, too, it seemed, from when LAPD froze me out of my voice mail right up until the day SBC interrupted my service. I bleeped through them now, deleting the first several from September 22 and the day of the twenty-third. Preston, nagging me about deadlines, a missing jacket, and an anthology he'd wanted me to contribute to. April asking what time she should come over for dinner that night.
The synthetic voice spoke the chillingly familiar time stamp: 'Fifth message. Sent September 23,1:08 a. M.'
Genevieve's damning message. I cocked back in my chair.
The softly accented voice whispered in my ear, 'It's me.'
A wave of heat passed through my face, setting my scar on fire. I'd heard the message countless times during my incarceration and trial. That wasn't how it started.
The computer search completed, iTunes confirming what I already knew. Madame Butterfly Disc 3.
The first track began to play from my tinny computer speakers, an accompaniment to Genevieve's message.
'I wanted to tell you I'm peaceful. I'm okay, I feel okay now. I've heard you're with someone new, and I'm… I'm glad for you.' A moist inhale. 'I'm sorry. For how I hurt you, for how I hurt everyone.' How fragile her voice, how delicate that French inflection. 'Maybe this can be one of your stories one day. Maybe you'll understand.'
From my computer Madama Butterfly wailed, Verra, verra, vedrai.
'Maybe you'll forgive me. For that and for this. I ask of you only one thing. My last request. Don't judge me. I hope you can walk around in my skin for a while. Isn't that what you do? Feel this pain. Write about it so maybe other people don't have to feel so alone.'
Salite a riposare, affranta siete… al suo venire vi chiamero.
'Good-bye, my love.'
The click of the hang-up.
Tu se con Dio ed io col mio dolor…
Gently, I replaced the phone in its cradle. Her real message, so different from the altered version played ad nauseam in court. As Preston reminds me every chance he gets, it's all in the editing. Slowly, I reached over and thumbed through the ragged manuscript: Aside from the detectives, Lloyd Wagner would know Genevieve's case better than anyone, having handled everything from recovering my voice-mail messages to matching the knife to the wound.
The original message would have exonerated me, causing the prosecution to drop the case. If no one believed I'd killed Genevieve, Lloyd would have lost his ideal fall guy. A guy whom everyone the cops, the media, the prospective jury pool believed guilty of murder. A guy the detectives would be eager to rush to judgment about. A guy who already half believed he was losing his mind. Lloyd knew he couldn't delete phone and caller ID records, but he could digitally reorganize the voice-mail recording, making it as ambiguous as the rest of the case, before turning it over during discovery. He'd told me himself he couldn't imagine my getting convicted, given the brain tumor. I'd be free yet tainted, available for the frame-up. A story-perfect investigation where no one would dig beneath the skin and find the hidden holes. To be sure, it was a risk, but with his wife's life hanging in the balance, he'd proven all too willing to take gambles.
I played Genevieve's message again, imagining its impact on me the night of September 23. A suicide warning, not a snotty rebuke.
What were the good doctor's words?
'Because the temporal lobe is intricately tied to emotional arousal, there is plentiful evidence that, once a patient has reached such a fragile state, the final mental break can be triggered by an emotionally intense event.'
An emotionally intense event. A message from an ex announcing her intention to kill herself would likely qualify.
April, contented midwestern soul, was a deep sleeper. Unlike me, she wouldn't have been roused by the ringing phone. In the darkness of that night, I'd padded into my office, sat, and played Genevieve's message. Startled, I'd risen, my office chair toppling over.
And then, altered and frenzied, I'd hot-assed it over to Genevieve's to find her, in typical dramatic fashion, robed in her best approximation of a geisha, slumped over the blade she'd thrust into her own belly, operatic death song blasting from the walls.
Her prints had been lifted from the handle. That was to be expected her knife, her house. My prints, from removing the knife, had been more eyebrow-raising.
She'd been right-handed, the reverse stab angling the blade as if the thrust had come from a left-handed attacker. As she'd keeled forward, the butt of the knife had struck floor, driving the blade deep enough to suggest that a 185-pound male had been behind the handle.
Straightforward enough to untangle, had I not arrived to fuck up the crime scene.
As a show of gratitude for the revelations the past hours had afforded me, I retrieved an '82 Bordeaux I'd been saving for years and drained it down the kitchen sink. I let Xena lick the neck when I was done. No need to waste it.
I wandered onto my back deck, put my feet on the rail, and stared out at the lights. All those people, all those stories.
Xena chased her stub and rolled in the brittle leaves.
I'd started out innocent and wanting to clear my conscience. I'd discovered I was not a murderer. And I'd wound up a killer.
I could live with that; as someone once told me, generally, we're not given the choice anyway. What a piece of work is man, and all that.
The doorbell rang, a deep chime causing Xena to lift her square head from the union of her paws.
I rose and walked inside.
Chapter 45
I'm a free citizen, at least until my next brain tumor. Cal leaked Genevieve's voice-mail message to the press, which, on the crest of the sensationalist coverage of Lloyd's machinations, restored my name to whatever dubious
