on the lowest level? He never understands anything, anything important. Mama's screwy, but Papa's head is on ass backwards.»
«Yeah, he's totally off the mark.»
«So then why'd you let her in? That woman.»
«I didn't know what was coming off. I had to talk with
her.»
«But don't tell me you ...»
«It wasn't so simple, I—»
«You didn't!» Yuki flew into a huff. Then, at a loss for what to say, she blushed.
«Well, yes. It's a long story. But the truth of the matter is,
I couldn't say no.»
She closed her eyes and pressed her hands to her cheeks. «I don't believe this!» Yuki screamed, her voice breaking. «I can't believe you'd do such a thing!»
«Of course, I refused at first,» I tried to defend myself. «But in the end—what can I say?—I gave in. It wasn't just the woman, though of course it was the woman. It was your father and your mother and the way they have this influence on everybody they meet. So I figured what the hell. Also, the woman didn't seem like such a bad deal.»
«I can't believe you're saying this!» Yuki cried. «You let Papa buy a woman for you? And you think nothing of it? That's so shameless, that's wrong. How could you?»
She had a point.
«You have a point,» I said.
«That's really, really shameless.»
«I admit it. It's really, really shameless.'
We repaired to the beach and surfed until noon. During which time Yuki didn't speak a single word to me. When I asked if she wanted to have lunch, she nodded. Did she want to eat back at the hotel? She shook her head. Did she want to eat out? She nodded. After a bit more nonverbal conversation, we settled for hot dogs, sitting out on the grass by Fort DeRussy. Three hours and still not a peep out of her.
So I said, «Next time I'll just say no.»
She removed her sunglasses and stared at me as if I were a rip in the sky. For a full thirty seconds. Then she brushed back her bangs. «Next time?!» she enunciated, incredulous. «What do you mean,
So I did my best to explain how her father had prepaid for two more nights. Yuki pounded the ground with her fist. «I don't
«I don't mean to upset you, Yuki, but think of it this way. Your father is at least showing concern. I mean, I am a male of the species and you are a young, very pretty female.»
«Really and truly barfbag,» Yuki screamed, holding back tears. She stormed off back to the hotel and I didn't see her until evening.
30
Hawaii. The next few days were bliss. A respite of peace. When June showed up for my next installment, I begged a fever and turned her down politely. She was very gracious. She got a mechanical pencil from her bag and jotted down her number on a notepad. I could call when I felt up to it. Then she said good-bye and left, swinging her hips off into the sunset.
I took Yuki to her mother's a few more times. I took walks with Dick North on the beach, I swam in their pool. Dick could swim amazingly well. Having just one arm hardly seemed to make a difference. Yuki and her mother talked by themselves, about what I had no idea. Yuki never told me and I never asked.
On one occasion Dick recited some Robert Frost to me. My understanding of English wasn't good enough, but Dick's delivery alone conveyed the poetry, which flowed with rhythm and feeling. I also got to see some of Ame's photos, still wet from the developing. Pictures of Hawaiian faces. Ordinary portraits, but in her hands the subjects came alive with honest island vitality and grace. There was an earthiness, a chilling brutality, a sexiness. Powerful, yet
unassuming. Yes, Ame had talent.
Dick looked after Ame in much the same way I looked after Yuki. Though he, of course, was far more thorough. He cleaned house, washed clothes, cooked meals, did the shopping. He recited poetry, told jokes, put out her cigarettes, kept her supplied with Tampax (I once accompanied him shopping), made sure she brushed her teeth, filed her photos, prepared a typewritten catalogue of all her works. All single-handedly. I didn't know where the poor guy found the time to do his own creative work. Though who was I to talk? I was having my trip paid by Yuki's father, with a call girl thrown in on top.
On days when we didn't visit Yuki's mother, we surfed, swam, lolled about on the beach, went shopping, drove around the island. Evenings, we went for strolls, saw movies, had pina coladas and fruit drinks. I had plenty of time to cook meals if I felt like it. We relaxed and got beautifully tanned, down to our fingertips. Yuki bought a new Hawaiian-print bikini at a boutique in the Hilton, and in it she looked like a real local girl. She got quite good at surfing and could catch waves that were beyond me. She listened to the Rolling Stones. Whenever I left her side on the beach, guys moved in, trying to strike up a conversation with her. But Yuki didn't speak a word of English, so she had no trouble ignoring them. They'd be shuffling off, disgruntled, when I got back.
«Do guys really desire girls so much?» Yuki asked.
«Yeah. Depends on the individual of course, but generally I guess you could say that men desire women. You know about sex, don't you?»
«I know enough,» said Yuki dryly.
«Well, men have this physical desire to sleep with women,» I explained. «It's a natural thing. The preservation of the species—»
«I don't care about the preservation of the species. I don't
want to know about science and hygiene. I want to know about
«Okay, suppose you were a bird,» I said, «and flying was something you really enjoyed and made you feel good. But there were certain circumstances that, except on rare occasions, kept you from flying. I don't know, let's say, lousy weather conditions, the direction of the wind, the season, things like that. But the more you couldn't fly, the more you wanted to fly and your energy built up inside you and made you irritable. You felt bottled up or something like that. You got annoyed, maybe even angry. You get me?» «I get you,» she said. «I always feel that way.» «Well, that's your sex drive.»
«So when was the last time you flew? That is, before Papa bought that prostitute for you?» «The end of last month.» «Was it good?» I nodded.
«Is it always good?»
«No, not always,» I said. «Bring two imperfect beings together and things don't always go right. You're flying along nice and easy, and suddenly there's this enormous tree in front of you that you didn't see before, and
Yuki mulled this over. Imagining, perhaps, a bird flying high, its peripheral vision completely missing the danger straight ahead. Was this a bad explanation or what? Was she going to take things the wrong way? Aww, what the hell, she'd find out for herself soon enough.
«The chance of things going right gradually improves with age,» I continued my explanation. «You get the knack of things, and you learn to read the weather and wind. On the other side of the coin, sex drive decreases with age. That's just how it goes.» «Pathetic,» said Yuki. «Yes, pathetic.»
Hawaii.
Just how many days had I been in the Islands? The concept of time had vanished from my head. Today comes after yesterday, tomorrow comes after today. The sun comes up, the sun goes down; the moon rises, the
