Just as I realize this, arms suddenly embrace me from behind. I want to turn, but I can't. I'm paralyzed. Hair stands up on the back of my neck as a chin rests on my shoulder.
Michael, a soft Irish-accented voice whispers in my ear.
It's my dead wife, Maeve. She's alive. I can feel the warmth of her hands, her breath in my ear, on my cheek. I check myself, feel my side where Apt stabbed me, feel my face for the dent in my fractured face, but everything is impossibly smooth. An incredible sadness rises in me like an overflowing spring.
No, she admonishes me when I start to cry.
But it's over, I cry.
No, she says again as a finger wipes away a tear and presses against my lips.
It's not the end. There is no end. That's the good part. How are all my babies?
I have trouble breathing, I'm crying so hard.
Baby, you should see Juliana. She's so brave and capable, just like you. And Brian, he's this huge, wonderful, polite young man.
Just like you, Maeve says.
And the rest of them. Eddie's so funny, and Trent. The younger girls have left me in the dust, honey. Pink is cool one second, then it's so babyish. I can't keep up. Oh, God, you'd be so proud of them.
I am, Michael. I see them sometimes. When they need me, I'm with them. That's another good part.
I reach out and suddenly hold her thin wrist. I move over to her hand, run my finger over her wedding ring.
I made it back to you. I knew I would. I never doubted it.
When she squeezes my hand back, my sadness evaporates, and I'm overcome with a pulsing warmth. I'm being filled inside and out with peace. Suddenly there's a pop, and a rushing sound fills my ears, like water roaring violently through a pipe. The bed starts to shake.
Will you show me everything? I say, holding on to her hand for dear life.
Of course, Michael, she says as she lets go of my hand. But not now. It's not the right time.
But I don't want to go back, I yell. Not yet. I have so many questions. What about us? What about Mary Catherine?
I know you'll be good to her, Michael, Maeve yells over the increasing roar. I know you. You would never play with a person's heart.
That's when I turn.
But Maeve isn't there.
Nothing is. Everything is gone. My room, the block, the city, the planet. There is nothing but the roar, and my breath and sight fail as it swallows me whole.
Chapter 106
First, there was just blackness and pain and a relentless chirping beep. It was like a bird had gotten inside of me somehow and was trying to peck its way out. Two large predator birds. One in my side, one in my face.
I opened my stinging eyes. Outside the window beside me, sun sparkled off an unfamiliar parking lot. On a highway in the distance, cars passed normally under a blue, cloudless sky.
A red-haired nurse with her back to me was moving some kind of wheeled cart in the corner. When I opened my mouth to call to her, I tasted blood again. I felt dizzy and weak, and nausea crowded up on me, and I slipped under again.
Next time I woke up, my eyes adjusted to the gray shapes. At first I thought there were people hovering above me, but then I realized they were balloons. Red and blue and shimmering Mylar ones. About as many as floated out of Carl's chimney in the movie Up.
I looked away from them, wincing in pain. My face and my side were hot and tight with an itchy, horrendous stinging. The head-to-toe tightness was the worst. I felt like a sheet being pulled apart.
'Thank the Lord. Oh, thank you, God,' someone said. It definitely wasn't me.
A second later, Seamus's face appeared.
'Please don't tell me it's last rites.'
'No, no, you've got at least another fifty years to suffer in this vale of tears, you crazy SOB. You scared the H-E-double-hockey-sticks out of us all.'
'How long have I been out?'
'This would be day three.'
'How's…?'
'Apt? Deader than dog excrement,' said another voice.
Emily Parker appeared next to my grandfather.
'Mary Catherine followed you down to the beach. She said when she saw you fighting, she ran back and started ringing doorbells. I guess it pays to have half the police and fire department for neighbors when you're on vacation.'
I nodded.
'How's…?'
'Your condition?' Seamus said.
I shook my head.
'Mary Catherine.'
'She cried for two days,' Seamus said. 'But now I believe she's fine, Mike. She's one remarkable girl, or I should say, woman.'
'It's true,' Emily agreed. 'She saved your life. And Ricky's. All of your lives. Feel better, Mike. Call me when you can. I have to go now. There's about a thousand people waiting to see you.'
I squeezed Emily's hand.
'I'm sorry,' I said.
'For what?' she said.
'For leaving the hotel.'
She smiled.
'You're where you're supposed to be, Mike. I know that now.'
The redheaded nurse came back then, looking pissed.
'Visiting time is over,' she said as she shoved Seamus toward the door.
'Get better,' ordered Seamus.
'I will.'
'Promise,' he called back.
I smiled.
'I swear to God, Father,' I said.
I slept for another stretch. When I opened my eyes, it was dark and all my kids were there.
At first, I flinched. I didn't want them to see me this way. Their mother had died in a hospital bed. They'd seen enough horror in their young lives, hadn't they? But after a minute, I found myself smiling as I looked from concerned face to concerned face.
They were all trying to be brave and to make me smile, I saw. Mary Catherine most of all. A wall of concern and love and support was bearing down on me whether I liked it or not.
After a little bit, I smiled back through my tears. I couldn't have helped it if I'd wanted to. Resistance was futile.
'Go give your Da a kiss,' Seamus instructed my kids.
And incredibly, somehow, all at the same time, that's exactly what they did.
HAYS BAKER: FATHER. HUSBAND. PATRIOT. HERO. #1 MOST WANTED. FOR AN EXCERPT, TURN THE
