Saying nothing, he kissed her and quickly got out of bed to get dressed, throwing her a yellow sundress. When she was allowed to wear clothes, he always picked them out. They hurried to the doctor’s cabana and he threw open the door so roughly that a glass fell off of a shelf, crudely announcing their arrival.
Leah lie on the table with her legs spread as the doctor inserted the probe. Adam tapped his foot in anticipation while undecipherable images crept across the monitor. He leant forward, a look of confusion on his face while the doctor let out a sigh.
“It takes a few seconds to find the fet- the baby.” The doctor squinted her eyes and adjusted the probe. “At this point it is approximately the size of a blueberry.” At last she smiled and placed her finger on the screen. “Here. There it is.” Adam leaned even closer and grabbed Leah’s hand. “Do you see that little flicker?” He nodded. “That’s the heart beat.” His lips relaxed and began to turn upward as he started stroking Leah’s palm with his thumb. “Let me see if I can get a better angle. We might be able to hear it.”
She adjusted the probe as Leah leaned in to get a better look. She had been so concerned with Adam’s reaction that she hadn’t given herself any space to take in this moment. She was seeing her baby for the first time and she was glad that the doctor had waited. It was just a little blob on the screen, but all of the sudden the reality that she was going to be a mother settled upon her.
“There.” A strange pulsing sound started coming out of the machine and the doctor turned it up. Adam looked at Leah with a big smile on his face and she returned it. After listening for a few minutes, they ended the exam and he carried her into the house to make her breakfast. It wasn’t nearly as good as what the cook usually made, but it was such a sweet gesture she didn’t really care. She had forgotten to take her dress off when she came in the house, but he barely seemed to notice and didn’t bring it up.
After they were done eating, he came over to Leah and kissed her gently, running his fingers through her hair as his lips traveled down her neck. All of the sudden, tears began to well up in her eyes and she pulled away from him, running into the living room. He followed her, a look of bewilderment on his face that surprised her when she saw it because she was expecting rage.
“I’m really tired,” she lied. The tears were now overflowing her eyes as she made her way up the stairs, choked sobs echoing through the house.
“Leah?” She didn’t answer him so he followed her as she ran into the bedroom and flung herself on the bed. “Leah, what’s wrong?”
She couldn’t answer him, couldn’t look at him, so she rolled herself into a tiny ball and cried into her pillow uncontrollably. She wondered what she was doing here, how she could be having a baby with a man she barely knew. A controlling man who had given her everything she wanted, but what about the baby? What kind of father does someone like that make? What kind of person does something like this? Questions swirled in her head that just made her cry harder as she pondered of the peculiar arrangement she was bringing a child into and what it would do. His domineering behavior and demanding sexual appetite turned Leah on immensely, that kind of thing always had. But this wasn’t about her anymore, her lust, her happiness. There was another life inside her that she had to think about. She couldn’t believe what she’d done.
Adam climbed into bed beside her and tentatively wrapped his arm around her waist. She couldn’t help but flip over to nuzzle into his chest as he stroked her hair. He didn’t say anything for a while, just held her there until she finally stopped crying.
“Are you alright?” He cupped her chin and brought her face up to hers, wiping the tears off of her face.
“I’m not sure,” she answered as she reluctantly looked into his dark eyes. His brow was furrowed and his face was filled with concern and uncertainty. When he behaved so tenderly it was easy to forget how strange this relationship was.
“The doctor said everything is fine.” He pressed his lips against her forehead as she started to whimper again and a tear ran down her cheek. “Shhh,” he calmed her, rocking her back and forth. “I don’t understand why you are so upset. This is a happy day.”
“This isn’t right” She collapsed against his chest, sobbing.
“What?”
“This!” Leah pushed herself back from him. “Us!” He looked at her stunned from across the bed.
“I don’t understand.” She was expecting him to get angry, but instead he just looked lost, even hurt. His sad eyes made her start crying again and he reached out to soothe her, but she refused him.
“What kind of way is this to raise a child?” Leah clutched her stomach. “You ordering me around like you do. How do you think a child will understand that?”
He didn’t answer, a grave look crossing his face. Adam sat up on the edge of the bed, his back towards her. “The child will be fine.” She started crying again and his back stiffened, but he didn’t turn around.
“How would you feel if you watched your father order your mother around like a slave?” The last word struck her and she started crying harder. He turned and looked at her with angry eyes, but as soon as he saw her quivering face, they softened. “Are you going to be like this with the children too?”
His face flinched and he let out a sad sigh while his gaze dropped to the bed. “I hadn’t thought about it that way.” He laid back down and gently moved towards her, his face apologetic. She closed the distance between them, reaching out to stroke his hair.
“I can’t let you treat them the way you treat me.” His eyes closed and he moved his face closer to hers, putting his hand on her stomach. “I wouldn’t be a good mother.”
“You’ve never complained about how I treat you before.” His voice sounded sad and distant.
“I didn’t mind until just now.” She pulled his head into her chest and he wrapped his arms around her waist. “I know that you like it. And you know that I like it, too.” She waited for him to answer, but he lay there silently in her arms, stroking her hair. “It can’t just be about sex anymore, Adam. We’re going to be parents.”
He looked up at her with those sad eyes, but a smile crossed his face as he reached for her stomach. “You’re right.” Scooting down the bed, he lifted her dress and started kissing her belly lightly. Leah’s body relaxed with his touch and she realized that she was actually quite tired. “We’ll figure something out.” She ran her fingers through his hair as he nuzzled into her, wrapping his arms around her hips.
“I really am sleepy,” she murmured, exhausted from the emotional outburst and satisfied with his reaction. He looked up at her, nodding. Pulling his face closer into her belly, he let out a long yawn and settled in to sleep.
Over the next few weeks Adam became much more agreeable. He allowed her to use the internet freely, though she knew he was secretly monitoring her. She ordered whatever she wanted to decorate the house without any questions from him. He even complained if she didn’t buy the most expensive version of whatever she wanted or hesitated because of the price. It soon began to look like a home and started to feel that way for her too. He insisted on making all of the furniture so they spent a lot of time in his woodshop. Leah watched as he carefully carved the designs she requested into the shelves that he made for her. The cradle was his favorite project. She loved to watch him from the lounge he brought in for her as he sanded it and tested the rocking. This was her favorite place to talk with him because his woodworking set him at ease. He was really in his element.
He conceded that things needed to be different for the best of the children. She didn’t mind his controlling tendencies that much; in fact it really turned her on. They agreed that everything would stay the same in the bedroom, she wouldn’t be allowed to wear clothes in the house until after the baby came. He wouldn’t tell her what to do in front of the children, and he assured her that he wouldn’t be strict with them, or hold them to unrealistic expectations.
It was still very difficult for her to get information about his life from him. Whenever she brought it up, he simply told her that he was very unhappy and wanted a new start. It bothered her, but it seemed like there was nothing to do about it. At least his personality was more accessible to her; she found that they had almost everything in common. She had never known anyone that loved the outdoors as much as she did and it soon became her favorite thing about him. When they weren’t out hiking they spent a lot of time in the garden, or just watching the clouds or the stars.
He still wouldn’t fuck her, and it bothered her so much she had to know why. She couldn’t figure out why he tortured himself by fondling her constantly and never allowed himself any release. He seemed to develop an obsession with her breasts as well as constantly insisted on licking her pussy. Although she loved pleasuring him orally as often as he demanded, he was getting to be to rough with her from his frustration. Reluctantly, he confessed that the shaman had told him that they shouldn’t have sex until the baby started moving, but she knew that there was no way he could last that long. Besides, it was completely unnecessary and as gifted as his oral
