It was the second time that week. When I came to, I was sick and too faint to move for a long time.
The house was silent. They had gone, of course . . . the house had been defiled, having me in it. They wouldn’t live here again, but would build elsewhere.
My eyes blurred. After a while I stood up and looked around ‘at the room. The walls were hung with a gray close-woven cloth that looked as if it would tear, and I thought of ripping it down in strips, breaking furniture, stuffing carpets and bedding into the oubliette. . . . But I didn’t have the heart for it. I was too tired.
At last I stooped and picked up the figurine and the paper that was supposed to go under it—crumpled now, with the forlorn look of a message that someone has thrown away unread.
I smoothed it out and read the last part.
YOU CAN SHARE THE WORLD WITH ME. THEY
CAN’T STOP YOU. STRIKE NOW—PICK UP A SHARP
THING AND STAB, OR A HEAVY THING AND CRUSH.
THAT’S ALL. THAT WILL MAKE YOU FREE. ANYONE CAN DO IT.
Anyone. Anyone.
progris riport 1—martch 5, 1965
Dr. Strauss says I shud rite down what I think and evrey thing that happins to me from now on. I dont know why but he says its importint so they will see if they will use me. I hope they use me. Miss Kinnian says maybe they can make me smart. I want to be smart. My name is Charlie Gordon. I am 37 years old and 2 weeks ago was my birthday. I have nuthing more to rite now so I will close for today.
progris riport 2—martch 6
I had a test today. I think I faled it. and I think that maybe now they wont use me.
What happind is a nice young man was in the room and he had some white cards with ink spillled all over them. He sed Charlie what do you see on this card. I was very skared even tho I had my rabits foot in my pockit because when I was a kid I always faled tests in school and I spillled ink to.
I told him I saw a inkblot. He said yes and it made me feel good. I That that was all but when I got up to go he stopped me. He said now sit down Charlie we are not thru yet. Then I don't remember so good but he wantid me to say what was in the ink.
I dint see nuthing in the ink but he said there was picturs there other pepul saw some picturs. couldn't see any picturs. I reely tryed to see. I held the card close up and then far away. Then I said if I had my glases I coud see better usally only ware my glases in the movies or TV but I said they are in the closit in the hall. I got them. Then I said let me see that card agen
I bet I’ll find it now.
I tryed hard but I still coudnt find the pictures I only saw the ink. I told him maybe I need new glases. He rote somthing down on a paper and I got skared of faling the test. I told him it was a very nice inkblot with little points all around the edges. He looked very sad so that wasnt it. I said please let me try agen. Ill get it in a few minits becaus Im not so fast somtimes. Im a slow reeder too in Miss Kinnians class for slow adults but Im trying very hard.
He gave me a chance with another card that had 2 kinds of ink spillled on it red and blue.
He was very nice and talked slow like Miss Kinnian does and he explaned it to me that it was a raw shok. He said pepul see things in the ink. I said show me where. He said think. I told him I think a inkblot but that wasnt rite eather. He said what does it remind you—pretend something. I closd my eyes for a long time to pretend. I told him I pretned a fowntan pen with ink leeking all over a table cloth. Then he got up and went out.
I dont think I passd the raw shok test.
progris report 3—martch 7
Dr Strauss and Dr Nemur say it dont matter about the inkblots. I told them I dint spill the ink on the cards and I coudnt see anything in the ink. They said that maybe they will still use me. I said Miss Kinnian never gave me tests like that one only spelling and reading. They said Miss Kinnian told that I was her bestist pupil in the adult nite scool becaus I tryed the hardist and I reely wantid to lern. They said how come you went to the adult nite scool all by yourself Charlie. How did you find it. I said I askd pepul and sumbody told me where I shud go to lern to read and spell good.
They said why did you want to. I told them becaus all my life I wantid to be smart and not dumb. But its very hard to be smart. They said you know it will probly be tempirery. I said Ves. Miss Kinnian told me. I dont care if it herts.
Later I had more crazy tests today. The nice lady who gave it me told me the name and I asked her how do you spellit so I can rite it in my progris riport. thematic apperception test. I dont know the frist 2 words but I know what test means. You got to pass it or you get bad marks. This test lookd easy becaus I coud see the picturs.
Only this joie she dint want me to tell her the picturs. That mixd me up. I said 'e man yesterday said I shoud tell him what I saw in the ink she said that dont make no difrence. She said make up storys about the pepul jn the picturs.
I told her how can you tell storys about pepul you never met. I said why shud I make up lies. I never tell lies any more becaus I always get caut.
She told me this test and the other one the raw-shok was for getting personalty. I laffed so hard. I said how can you get that thing from inkblots and fotos. She got sore and put her picturs away. I dont care. It was sily. I gess I faled that test too.
Later some men in white coats took me to a difemt part of the hospitil and gave me a game to play. It was like a race with a white mouse. They called the mouse Algernon. Algernon was in a box with a lot of twists and turns like all kinds of walls and they gave me a pencil and a paper with lines and lots of boxes. On one side it said start and on the other end it said finish. They said it was amazed and that Algernon and me had the same amazed to do. I dint see how we could have the same amazed if Algernon had a box and I had a paper but I dint say nothing. Anyway there wasnt time because the race started.
One of the men had a watch he was trying to hide so I woudnt see it so I tryed not to look and that made me nervus.
Anyway that test made me feel worser than all the others because they did it over 10 times with difernt amazeds and Algernon won every time. I dint know that mice were so smart. Maybe mats because Algernon is a white mouse. Maybe white mice are smarter then other mice.
progris riport 4—Mar 8
Their going to use me! Im so exited I can hardly write. Dr Nemur and Dr Strauss had a argament about it first. Dr Nemur was in the office when Dr Strauss brot me in, Dr Nemur was worryed about using me but Dr Strauss told him Miss Kinnian rekemmended me the best from all the people who was teaching. I like Miss Kinnian becaus she's a very smart teacher. And she said Charlie your going to have a second chance. If you volenteer for this experament you mite get smart. They dont know if it will be perminint but theirs a chance. Thats why I said ok even when I was scared because she said it was an operashun. She said don be scared Charlie you done so much with so little I think you deserv i most of all.
So I got scaird when Dr Nemur and Dr Strauss argud about it- ^ Strauss said I had something that was very good. He said I had a g° motor-vation. I never even knew I had that. I felt proud when he say that not every body with an eye-q of 68 had that thing. I dont know what it is or where I got it but he said Algernon had it too.
Algernons motor-vation is the cheese they put in his box. But it cant be that because I didn't eat any cheese this week.
Then he told Dr Nemur something I dint understand so while they were talking I wrote down some of the words.
He said Dr Nemur I know Charlie is not what you had in mind as the first of your new brede of intelek** (coudnt get the word) superman. But most people of his low ment** are host** and uncoop** they are usualy dull apath** and hard to reach. He has a good natcher hes intr- isted and eager to please.
Dr Nemur said remember he will be the first human beeng ever to have his intelijence trippled by surgicle meens.
Dr Strauss said exakly. Look at how well hes lerned to read and write for his low mentel age its as grate an
