The Shadow's heir

an’ that, an’ it was amazin’ how yeh killed all them bandits, but. . why did yeh have t’kill the rest, too? The prisoners down in the hold? The children? Why did yeh have t’kill the children? The baby? They weren’t no harm.”

Arenadd’s face fell. “You shouldn’t have gone on that ship.”

“Well, I did,” said Laela, her voice cracking. “An’ I saw what yeh did. I saw it all. I saw the dead baby. Why did yeh do it? Why?”

He put down the book. “Laela, you don’t understand-”

“Yeah, I do.” Laela felt fear twist inside her and become anger. “I understand just fine.” She took a step closer to him. “I never understood before, but now I do. This is why they call yeh the Dark Lord. This is why they’re afraid of yeh. This is why they say yeh ain’t got no heart. It’s because of this. Yeh did things like this in the war.”

“Yes,” Arenadd said quietly. “I did things exactly like this in the war.”

“But why?” said Laela. “Why the baby? Why kill a baby, an’ a child? Why kill people who didn’t have no weapons, people who wanted. .”

Arenadd sighed. “Oh, gods. I knew I should have kept you away from this. Laela. .”

“What? Tell me. Tell me why.”

“Your foster father,” said Arenadd.

“What?” Laela started. “What about him?”

“You told me he drank himself to death, yes?”

“Yeah, I did. So what?”

“He couldn’t stay away from it,” said Arenadd. “He knew it was hurting him, but he kept on drinking.”

Painful memories came back to her. “Yeah. . he knew it. I told him, too. I begged him t’stop. But he never could stop.”

Arenadd nodded. “He couldn’t live without it. Couldn’t live without that feeling that drink gave him. And I. .” He sighed. “I’m the same as him. I kill, Laela. I love to kill. It gives me a feeling. . I can’t describe it. When I fight, a madness takes hold of me, and then all I can do is kill. Kill as many people as I can, it doesn’t matter who. I didn’t even know I killed a baby. I swear.”

Laela couldn’t think of anything to say.

Arenadd closed his eyes and sighed. “Gods, it’s been such a long time since I’ve had a reason to fight. You can’t imagine how wonderful it felt to do it again.”

There was a long silence, while Laela stood and looked at him. Arenadd looked back, with a hint of uncertainty.

“I thought I knew yeh,” Laela said at last. “But I don’t, do I?”

“I am what the Night God made me,” said Arenadd.

“Yer a monster,” said Laela.

He stared at his broken fingers. “I know.”

Laela couldn’t eat anything for the rest of that day even though the sailors had brought over enough new supplies for an impromptu feast. She managed to get her hands on the carcass of one of the live goats that had been on board, and gave the choicest part to Oeka. Once the griffin was satisfied, Laela spent the evening skulking in the shadows, avoiding Arenadd and drinking spiced Amorani wine.

She put off returning to the cabin as long as she could, but eventually everyone else had gone to bed except for the sailors who were on watch, and Oeka was becoming impatient.

Drunk and exhausted, Laela stumbled back into the cabin. Arenadd was in his hammock, apparently asleep, and she pulled her boots off and flopped onto the bed, her head spinning. Oeka curled up beside her as usual, and went to sleep.

Laela couldn’t sleep.

She lay awake for most of the night, not wanting to close her eyes. Whenever she did, images of dead children would flash behind her eyelids, and her addled brain convinced her that if she went to sleep, they would follow her.

Her head flopped sideways on the pillow, and she stared at the vague shape that was Arenadd. He wasn’t moving at all, and she imagined him sleeping peacefully, without any nightmares. How could anyone rest that well when he’d done what he had-and liked it?

The memory rose up again. “Pretty maid, dressed in yellow, went upstairs to kiss a fellow. By mistake she kissed a snake. .” Laela murmured the words to herself several times, trying to remember how the rhyme ended.

She couldn’t remember.

Arenadd stirred and sighed in his sleep.

By mistake she kissed a snake, Laela thought, and rolled over.

She had been lying like that for some time before she realised she was hearing something strange. She stilled and concentrated, her heart beating faster.

It sounded like a voice.

Laela rolled over again and sat up, tense now. The voice was coming from somewhere to her right, and she relaxed very slightly when she realised what it was-it was Arenadd, talking in his sleep. The words were mumbled and difficult to make out, but Laela listened intently, wondering what someone like him would say in his sleep.

When she finally did realise just what he was saying, she flinched and put a hand to her mouth.

“. . help me. .”

Laela shivered.

“Help me,” Arenadd repeated. “Please, someone let me out, please. . help. .”

Laela put her head under the pillow and fought to make herself sleep.

22

Amoran

Two days after the slaughter of the pirates, the Seabreath came within sight of Amoran. Arenadd, to the silent horror of everyone on board, put his robe back on before spending half a day grooming in his cabin. Laela, still trying to stay out of his way, found herself hustled back into their quarters shortly before they were due to reach land.

“What do yeh want?” she asked, unable to hide her unease around him.

Whatever new energy Arenadd had gained from his killing frenzy had worn off by now, and he looked grim and solemn, but businesslike. “We’re going to follow the river from here, and we should dock in Instabahn tonight.”

“So?”

Arenadd rolled his eyes. “Laela, can you just for one moment forget your utter inability to stand on ceremony and take it into your head that the Emperor and his entire court are going to be waiting for us there?”

Laela blanched. “What’m I gonna have to do?”

“Look respectable for once,” Arenadd said shortly. “I’ve got an outfit picked out for you. But first we’re going to do something about that hair.”

Instinctively, she clutched at it. “What’s wrong with. .?”

Arenadd prodded her curls. “What’s wrong with them? They’re a tangled mess, that’s what’s wrong with them. When was the last time you even combed? Dear gods, girl, curly hair takes looking after! Take it from someone who spends most of his private time trying to stop his from turning into a rat’s nest! Now come here, and I’ll show you a few things that can help. .”

Laela trundled after him and listened with vague hopelessness as he showed her various bottles of lotion and different combs and brushes, and explained how they should be used and in what order. Outwardly, she looked bored and irritated, but inwardly she was fighting against her own confusion. He killed so many people