No Flesh Shall Be Spared

It all boiled down to a respect thing, he guessed.

He’d been summoned to Corporate via a note—meticulously typed on League stationary—from some marketing cat named Monroe. It had been sent to his dressing room along with a bottle of scotch immediately after his match. No one would tell him anything about it or what it meant. He’d just been 'called.' After checking with several of the more seasoned fighters around the compound, he got the impression that it was best not to ask. It was better to just go where you were directed and hope nothing bad came of it. Cleese figured after the night he’d had, it probably wasn’t anything too terrible.

A short, heavyset woman with curly grey hair stood waiting patiently for the elevator going up. She wore a boxy overcoat and her shoulders hung at a tired angle. As he approached, the woman looked up and then quickly looked away. Nervously, she glanced askance back at him. Cleese smiled broadly at her in lieu of saying 'Hello.' She smiled back at him with a worried expression and clutched her purse a little tighter to her chest.

The elevator doors slid open with a hissing sound and Cleese beckoned her to go ahead. Hesitantly, she complied, as if being trapped in a small box with him was the last thing she wanted to do. He stepped in after her and moved to the back of the car. He then turned around, putting his hand into his pocket as he did so. The doors closed with a whisper behind them and, for a second, there was an odd little silence. As they stood there, the woman looked over and managed a feeble smile.

Cleese grinned broadly back at her.

'Gum?'

Her smile fractured like fine crystal.

'Ex-excuse me?' she said, her voice having gained a vibrato from somewhere.

Cleese lifted his hand from the depths of his pocket and opened it so she could see the two pieces of bubble gum held in his grasp.

'Would you like a piece of gum?' he repeated.

She smiled nervously and shook her head.

'No. No, thank you.'

Cleese shrugged and nodded his head toward the elevator control panel on the wall near her.

'Fourth floor, please.'

A sudden light bulb appeared invisibly over the woman’s head and she pushed the appropriate numbers—hers then his—on the keypad. Overhead, somewhere above the acoustic tiling, the sound of gears and pulleys engaging was heard. The car jerked a little as it moved and both of them settled in for the ride, each waiting for their floor. The woman stared intently as the numbers over the door clicked off one by one. It was as if, by the sheer force of her will, she hoped she could make them go by faster.

Cleese looked surreptitiously at the woman out of the corner of his eye. An image of the first UD he’d trained with in the pit—the old woman in the housecoat—flashed before his mind’s eye. Dirty this ol’ gal up a little, he thought, bloody her nose up a bit, and she was the spitting image of the UD. He let his gaze wander down to his right arm, the one that had so recently worn the gauntlet, the one that had wielded the spike. He flexed his forearm slightly and watched the cords of muscles dance beneath his skin. His attention drifted and it soon became focused on a spot at the back of her head, where her skull met her neck. All too easily, he saw the chrome shaft sliding in.

Cleese looked back to the piece of gum in his hand.

'You sure?' he asked, offering again, tying to break his morbid train of thought. 'I mean, I thought everybody liked gum.'

The woman smiled and waved him off sheepishly. 'No. No, thank you.'

Cleese unwrapped one of the small pink squares and popped it into his mouth. He smiled, balling up the wrapper between his fingers.

'I don’t read the comics,' he said confidentially. 'They’re never funny.'

The woman smiled awkwardly again and kept her gaze locked onto the numbers above the door. From her expression, the numbers still weren’t clicking themselves off fast enough to suit her.

They rode the rest of the way to the fourth floor in silence.

The elevator slowed and finally came to a stop with a nauseating lurch. With a small, metal cry, the doors slid open. Cleese stepped out into the hallway, looking from right to left. The woman stood inside the elevator and nervously looked toward the control panel and again tried to use the force of her will to make the doors close faster. Finally, the elevator began to move and she stole a glance at Cleese.

He looked back over his shoulder at her, grinned, and gave her a little wave.

'B’Bye…'

She offered a half-hearted smile and, as the doors slid shut, he could see a look of relief roll across her features.

Cleese walked down the short corridor that led away from the elevators and paused. He saw a plaque mounted by screws onto the wall. The small square of gold finished metal had numbers and arrows inscribed on it telling which direction in the corridor led to which room. He looked to the right, got his bearings, and resumed walking. Moving along the corridor, Cleese continued to take in his surroundings and tried to envision exactly why he might have been brought all the way up here. He’d had a good night at his fight and everyone seemed pretty pleased. Still, he couldn’t help but feel the same way he had when he’d been called to the Principal’s office as a kid. To occupy his mind, he went over in his head what he knew about the League.

Joseph F. Weber Industries was an umbrella company which owned the WGF and UFL as well as a number of other, smaller commercial concerns. The corporation liked to call what they did something other than 'zombie fightin’.' They preferred something euphemistic and a bit more respectable. What was it Masterson had called it? 'UD Engagement?' But Cleese’s dad had always said to him (when he said anything to him at all), 'Son, you can put a pig in a dress and, no matter how nice the dress is, it’ll always be just a pig in a dress.'

Then again, Cleese’s dad also used to tell him, 'Here’s a dollar, Boy. Go get me a pack of smokes down at the corner market…and be slow… because I’m gonna be fuckin’ your momma.'

So, there you go…

The more he thought about it, the more Cleese figured this meeting was arranged so that they could discuss a more permanent—and binding—situation between him and the organization. And that only meant one thing… Money. Real money—not the chump change for which he’d initially signed on. Real 'Fuck you' money! Why else haul some dumbass Cherry all the way out here from the sticks and treat him like he was somebody? He knew he’d had a pretty awesome fight and he’d been told that the audience reaction to his match had been huge. So huge that they were obviously willing to spring for all of this: a four star hotel, a generous per diem, as well as access to the hotel’s restaurant and—most importantly—the bar.

First class all the way.

On the plane trip over, he’d come to the conclusion that if he was really going to do this crazy shit, he was damn well going to get paid for it. If only for what he’d been through last night—he needed to live like Elvis… or Howard Hughes… or maybe both.

He continued moving down the hallway and finally arrived at a door with another gold placard in it which read 'Suite 411.' He retrieved the slip of paper from his pocket and made sure he was at the correct place. Seeing that he was, he stuffed it back into his pocket, knocked once, and then opened the door.

Cleese stepped out of the isolation of the hallway and into a room full of people. He’d walked into what looked like a meeting that was already in progress. Three individuals were gathered around a conference room table; huddled over some reports in manila folders.

'Excuse me…' Cleese apologized as he stuttered to a stop, and began backing out.

'Wa-wait!' one of the men said. He was a tall, rail-thin guy who sported a ponytail and wore a very nice suit.

The marketing guy.

'Cleese… Cleese…' Ponytail said as he stood up and lunged toward the door, right hand extended in greeting. 'I’m Philip Monroe. I’m the one who wrote you.'

Cleese stopped in the doorway and reopened the door.

'I’m sorry,' Cleese said, his arms out and palms open ignoring the offered handshake preferring to bow slightly instead. 'I thought I was interrupting something.'

'No… No… In fact, we were just talking about you.' Monroe stopped and made a broad gesture with his arm