Decay Inevitable

“Afternoon,” Derek said, as he caught up with Harry and Joanna. He held the lift doors open for them. “Which floor you after?”

“Three, please,” Harry said.

“Nice one,” Derek replied. “Me too.”

WILL’S NOSE STREAMED with blood but it had nothing to do with any injury Sadie inflicted upon him. Out of the blue came a torrent of red. It was a fashionable colour. Sadie was on all fours, gasping as the sac tore open. Gore was flushing across the black floorboards, giving them a gloss that no varnish could deliver. The child wriggled on its back, trying to chew through the cord that connected him to his mother with teeth that looked like broken bits from a straight razor. Even as he did this, he was scrabbling with his hands, trying to gain purchase on the slippery boards, trying to crawl over to where Will was crouched.

There was no exit behind him. High above, thirty feet or more, the ruptured stage let through shafts of granular light, thick with dust. The only exit was beyond Sadie and her grim spawn.

Staunching the flow of blood with the back of his hand, Will stood up. Sadie swung her head to look at him. Her face was covered in sweat and darkened by blood, building up in her temples. Her teeth were bared and a rope of saliva shivered from the corner of her mouth.

“Say hello. To Daddy,” she managed, the words coming out packaged in little coughs of pain. “Give. Daddy a big. Kiss.”

“Fuck that,” Will said, and took off.

He hurdled Sadie, but she managed to lift her forearm, which she smashed across Will’s shin. He toppled forwards and landed heavily against a rack of microphone stands. There was something wrong with the way he tried to stand up, and he saw that he couldn’t get any leverage from his hand because now it was lying, palm upwards like a weird ashtray, six feet away from his body. The thumb and forefinger made an OK sign. He closed his mind to what was happening. He stood up, shakily, and tottered over to the hand, which he picked up with the other

Nice to meet you, I’m fine, how are you?

before vomiting thinly and lurching away from Sadie, who had rolled onto her back, scrabbling in the wet for her crop. He stuffed the hand into his pocket and backed off, his head ranging to and fro, trying to spot the child in the gloom. Presumably Sadie was shielding it from harm. Perhaps it was too raw to harm him just yet. He eyed the microphone stands, their heat-warped, splintered bows of metal, but what use was a weapon here? He could slash, spear, or cudgel Sadie, but to what effect? She was this place and it was her.

“I saved your life, you fucking bitch,” Will said, needing to say something, anything that might get through to her and stop her from causing his decomposure. She sagged back into her own juices and stared at him, her mouth parted, hissing through her clenched teeth a sound that might or might not have been laughter.

Will jogged for the exit, briefly appalled by another spray of blood that gushed from his nose. He needed to find somewhere dark and quiet, somewhere he could turn his thoughts inwards, to make some sense of what was happening to him. Once free of the awful cinders and smokiness of the theatre, he ran until his lungs burned, ignoring the hellish fragments being enacted on these stages around him. He caught glimpses of animals forced into acts that made them shriek; shadowy things swinging on the ends of ropes in dank alleyways; men huddled around a core of something wet and pink that mewled when they leaned into it. He blocked it all out as he ran, or tried to trick himself into believing that the scenes around him were more benevolent than they appeared. It was the only way to deal with it. He had no choice. It was all move, keep going, the next thing and the next. It didn’t matter any more what leapt out at him or winked from the shadows. The goalposts had moved and he had to move with them. Keep going. Keep going. What was the alternative?

He stopped running when the blood from his nose was smeared across his chest and splashed into his eyes, making him blind. He could taste it, hot and bright in the back of his throat, next to the sweetish flavour of his own depletion. The blood was an honest taste. It persuaded him that he was still alive and that getting away was still of use to someone, even if that someone was no longer himself.

Up ahead Will saw a boat moored to the bank of a slow-moving river. He slid and scuffed his way onto the bank, where the heavy, organic smell of the water assaulted him, slapping him further awake. The boat was a small cutter tethered to a post with a series of old, fraying ropes. A faded name etched on a brass plate, Koimao, was attached with rusty screws to the bulwark. It listed heavily to starboard, and the aft deck was a riot of birdshit and sodden flyers exhorting visits to clubs that might well have been called abattoirs in another time and place.

Cautiously, he stepped aboard, risking a “Hello?” before pushing open the cabin door and peering into the depths of the boat. A smell of boiled onions and vinegar. Six inches of brackish water on the floor. A coil of rope, fat and sodden like a snake on a chair fit for anything but sitting on. There was nobody on board. Will grabbed a rusty knife from a rack in a galley that was decorated with grease and mould. He went back to the bank and cut the boat free. Then he took his hand from his pocket and tossed it into the water. One of the black, spangled parrots gawked at him from the coach roof when he turned around.

“Wanking hand, was it? Tough titty, tough titty, tough titty...”

Will sat back and watched the bright and broken lights of Mash This retreat. The river had the cutter and it tugged it slowly with a current that rocked the collapsing vessel. Will responded to its rhythms, allowing the currents of his own exhaustion to pull him on too. He folded his damaged arm under the other, to keep it warm. The ancient wood of the vessel sang and cried as it rolled downriver. The mainsail, jib, and stay sail were ragged triangles shot through with holes. The water stretched out behind the boat like braids of hair slowly being plaited together.

A querulous chittering.

The baby’s hand wrapped itself – a wet, pudgy claw – around the rail. Its oversized head rose like an awful moon. Will saw the glitterflash of light off its razor teeth and felt a perverse wave of pride wash over him.

HARRY TOOK IT in, sat down calmly on a chair next to the bed, regarded his wife with cool detachment, and whispered: “Are you completely and utterly out of your nutty bloody skull, woman?”

“I promised him this,” Joanna said. “Like you promised me. I’ll sit by him until, well, until whatever.”

“Promised him how?” Harry asked.

“When I was in a coma I... well, I don’t know, I somehow joined up with him. There was a link there, Harry.”

Harry was looking at Joanna as if she had suddenly grown a ginger beard. “You should still be in that hospital bed,” he said.

“I’m perfectly fine, Harry,” Joanna maintained. “But this poor guy is not. Believe me.” She searched her husband’s face, but it was grey and flinty with worry. She took his hand. “Listen,” she said, “if I was making all this up, how come I knew that there would be a coma patient called Will in this hospital?”

Harry shook his head. It didn’t seem enough to convince him.

“Why don’t you wait outside,” Joanna said, gently. “Get us a couple of teas, yes? I’ll be out shortly.”

“What are you going to do?” he asked.

“I don’t know. Sit with him for a while. See if he wakes up.” She shrugged, smiled. “I don’t know.”

Harry got to his feet and kissed the top of his wife’s head. “I’ll get us some tea then.”

WHEN HE THOUGHT to look at the sky and try to find the moon, something to comfort him and make him feel rooted to reality on some plane or another, he was too far gone in sleep to manage it. Amazing, that he could drift off while that child, his child, that creature came slithering along the deck for him.

In sleep, he saw Joanna’s face leaning over his. She kissed his lips tenderly. He couldn’t open his eyes to ask