those zeroes, fawning over them like he could screw them.
He was hooked. I knew it. Through-the-gills, jonesing-for-a-fix hooked. Look at him, his eyes greedy as they were beady.
Time to set him straight.
I pulled off my shades so he could get a good look at my eyes. Ice. “Apologize.”
“What?”
“For talking back to me. Apologize and make it sweet before I replace your ass.”
I stepped through the curtain, big-ass wad of cash in my damp pocket. Deluski and Maria waited in the lobby. “We heard you were here,” said Maria, her V-neck top cut low enough to show the top edges of a lacy bra, breasts squeezed up and in. Her eyes were dominated by eye shadow, deep blue swaths coming down like gaudy drapes with each eye blink. “We were worried.”
I smiled and-not wanting to send the wrong signal-patted her shoulder buddy-to-buddy style.
Deluski gave a relieved grin. “Glad to see you made it, boss.”
“Same here.” I held him with a suspicious eye, knowing that in his case, the concern might not be so selfless. Killer KOPs would’ve gone public had I died.
“Sorry it went down like that.” He dipped his head. “I didn’t want to leave you to fend for yourself.”
I gave him an appraising look. His brown eyes hung heavy in their sockets. He raised his brows, but they weren’t strong enough to lift the weight of a long night. The guilt seemed genuine.
“Don’t sweat it. I ordered you to run. You did right.”
A skeptical smile. “What happened down there?”
“I ran like hell.” I stepped in close, leaned forward so nobody but Deluski and Maria would overhear. “We can’t stay here any longer.” I asked Maria, “Know anybody with tight lips who can put Deluski up tonight?”
“What about you?”
“I have to go see somebody, but I’ll have to crash eventually. Can you get a place with room for two?”
She bit her lipsticked lip. “I’ll come up with something.”
“When you find a place, take Deluski over there. Then call the Iguana King Hotel and leave the address for Joe Chin.”
“Who?”
“Just tell them a Joe Chin will be checking in tomorrow.”
She nodded her head, understanding.
I put my hand on Deluski’s shoulder. “Wherever she brings you, stay there until I come for you in the morning.”
Things settled for now, I went out the door.
Maggie. I had to see Maggie.
Seventeen
Morning. The traffic-both foot and wheel-told me so. I’d been sitting on these steps for hours, waiting for her to come out. Didn’t want to wake her up. She was plenty pissed at me as it was.
Rain came down in a constant patter. Water streamed out from a pipe under my feet and ran down a cement gutter before disappearing into an underground pipe. The courtyard was secluded, trees and vines trimmed and shaped, the jungle tamed into a garden. Damp moss filled the air with mustiness.
The door opened behind me. She came halfway down the steps and turned to face me. “What are you doing here?” A porch light lit her face, but her voice was anything but bright.
“We need to talk.”
She looked down at me, at my rumpled clothes, my up-all-night eyes. “No, we don’t. I can’t talk to you when you’re like this.”
“Like what?”
“Don’t play stupid. You know exactly what I’m talking about. And take off those damn sunglasses.”
I semi-complied by pushing the glasses up to the top of my head. My scalp hurt like hell.
“What were you thinking?” Her voice was amped with impatience.
“I fucked up.”
“You think?”
“I didn’t know Mota would fight me. I thought he’d crumble.”
“You are unbelievable.” She shook her head. “You really don’t get it, do you?”
“Get what?”
She kept her voice low. “You still think this is a problem of execution. You think you picked the wrong protection racket to take over. Christ. It ever occur to you that taking dirty money is illegal?”
“What do you want me to say? I’m sorry?”
“An apology isn’t going to do it. Good-bye.” She rushed down the stairs, took the first step into the rain.
I couldn’t let her go. “I did it for you,” I called before she got far.
She spun on me, her face flushed, brows stabbing downward.
I stayed seated but forged ahead, undaunted. “I was trying to build a power base. You can’t be chief without-”
“Stop!” She jumped on my words and stomped them into the ground. “Don’t you dare put this on me. You fucked up. You. ”
“I was trying to-”
“Shut up! Just shut the hell up.”
I shut up. My insides hung heavy. I couldn’t stand to see her angry, couldn’t stand that I’d brought that ugliness to her face. The creases marring her forehead, the squint-wrinkles spoiling her eyes, the thorny little lines surrounding crimped lips, they were all my work, all of them strokes from my black paintbrush.
She was so angry I saw myself in her face, my ugly side reflecting back at me. I wanted to crawl into a hole.
Fix it, Juno. You have to fix it. I told myself I could, that it wasn’t too late. She hadn’t left. She hadn’t given up on me. Not yet. “One question.”
She stayed silent, glaring.
“What did you see in me?”
Her brows quirked as if to ask, What the hell are you talking about?
“When we first met, when we first partnered up, what did you see in me?”
She stepped out of the rain, up onto the bottom stair, droplets in her hair, water dotting her face.
I needed an answer. “What did you see?”
“I saw a broken man trying to fix himself.”
I rubbed my stump. “So what’s changed?”
“Everything. You’re going the wrong way. Can’t you see that?”
“My head’s been a little screwed up.”
“A little?”
“My intent was right, Maggie. My intent was right.”
She started to protest, but I stopped her by holding up my left hand. I wouldn’t let her talk me out of it. My intent was right. It was true. It had to be true. How else could I live with what I’d started, the shitstorm I’d unleashed?
I needed her to see. To understand. “You saw more in me than that.”
She folded her arms, her green eyes wary.
I pressed. “When you learned who I was, my history, why didn’t you drop me as fast as you could?”
“Because I could see you didn’t want to be that person anymore. I thought you wanted to redeem yourself.”
“I did. I do. You know damn well that’s why I wanted to take KOP back. You know I wanted you to change it,
